Strong play made for feckless numtpy of the week award

[suityou01]

Most people verify with someone already on the train if unsure.

Bleep bleep bleep <doors close>

Excuse me is this the Cambridge train?

<train edges out of the station>

[vetran]

Front of the train is a mile away from where I enter the platform. It is 8 cars. To "jog" to the front, check the signage and jog to the nearest door would have meant I would miss the train. In this instance not a bad thing it turns out but I wasn't to know that.

How about, if the driver knew the train was running late, before closing the doors announced internally on the train which train it was and give a few seconds for others that were confused to vacate the train?

Why does the CUK panel have to immediately take the stance of everybody else is right and Suity is wrong?

the other trick I use is to poke my head through the door and ask the other passengers is this train going to X if I'm unsure.

[suityou01]

Experience?

Nice try. The award stays with the station announcer. Need to up your game.

[d000hg]

The platform televisions weren't working and I couldn't understand the announcements - it took me ages to work out that 'Eczema' was actually Exmouth - so every time a train came in, I had to get up and make enquiries. For reasons that elude rational explanation, British Rail always puts the destinations on the front of the train, which would be awfully handy if passengers were waiting on the tracks, but not perhaps ideal for those boarding it from the side. Most of the other passengers evidently couldn't hear the announcements because when the Barnstaple train eventually came in, half a dozen of us formed a patient queue beside a BR employee and asked him if this was the Barnstaple train.

For the benefit of foreign readers, I should explain that there is a certain ritual involved in this. Even though you have heard the conductor tell the person ahead of you that this is the Barnstaple train, you still have to say, 'Excuse me, is this the Barnstaple train?' When he acknowledges that the large linear object three feet to your right is indeed the Barnstaple train, you have to point to it and say, 'This one?' Then when you board the train you must additionally ask the carriage generally, 'Excuse me, is this the Barnstaple train?' to which most people will say that they think it is, except for one man with a lot of parcels who will get a panicked look and hurriedly gather up his things and get off.

You should always take his seat since you will generally find that he has left behind a folded newspaper and an uneaten bar of chocolate, and possibly a nice pair of sheepskin gloves.

[suityou01]

[darmstadt]

Hang on a minute, its only Monday. You've still got another 4 1/2 days to really give this award :-)

[Bunk]

Hang on a minute, its only Monday. You've still got another 4 1/2 days to really claim this award :-)

FTFY

[MarillionFan]

Try turning up on time, lest that way you'll hear the announcer and have time to check the train.

[suityou01]

Try turning up on time, lest that way you'll hear the announcer and have time to check the train.

Great advice. Do you have a forumla for estimating the spikes in journey time from Luton to Hitchin so this can be brought into effect?

[MarillionFan]

Great advice. Do you have a forumla for estimating the spikes in journey time from Luton to Hitchin so this can be brought into effect?

Leave an hour before your normal time. Sorted.