Originally posted by original PM
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Do you wear aftershave?
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Haven't used aftershave since the 90s, I really don't see the need
Women usually hate it, and it stings your faceSocialism is inseparably interwoven with totalitarianism and the abject worship of the state.
No Socialist Government conducting the entire life and industry of the country could afford to allow free, sharp, or violently-worded expressions of public discontent.Comment
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I used to use hai Karate when I was a kid. Like when shaving wasnt really neccessary just yet, it makes you feel a bit grown up like.
I learned a lot about aftershave when I was in the army.
One morning, on parade in basic training, we were told that we were going into the gas chamber the next day. The idea was that they filled a room with CS gas, then fitted your respirator and sent you into the chamber.
Once we were all in there, we were called forward, mask off, number name and rank. By then you had taken a breath and by f**k, you knew that that respirator really worked. It was truly incapacitating.
On parade they told us, 'tomorrow is the only day in your army career that you are excused shaving,
and under no circumstances use any aftershave.'
'You will get millions of microscopic cuts, and aftershave will open the pores'
So along comes the platoon sicknote. He had missed the parade due to a visit to the doc. Natuarally we told him all about the gas chamber.
'The important thing is to get a good seal. So we have to shave really close and uses gallons of hai Karate. or brut'
Next moring the silly git didnt reallise we were all shaving with the guards still on the razors.
So there I was next morning, mask off. '24344007 Recruit Eternal Optimist SIRRR....Jeeeezzzz hhh chris....HEEEELP'
Saliva gushing out, runny snot everywhere, eyes watering.
Then outside , arms outstretched, facing that cool breeze. heaven.
One by one the guys came staggering out, coughing and spluttering and clapping each other on the back. Another hurdle towards being a trained soldier overcome.
Then there was a scream. The door burst open and out he came. eyes like slits, head swelled up like a pumpkin, screaming and yelling , he took off across the field towards the firing range. looking for a pond or a stream I guess.
He's still running now probbly
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(>'.'<)
("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to WorkComment
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Not anymore:
“Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.”Comment
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