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  1. #6481

    I live on CUK

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    Two firemen are having sex in a burning building. The Fire Chief runs in and shouts, 'What do you think you're doing?' One fireman sobs, 'Chief, he's dying of smoke inhalation.' The Chief says, ' Then give him mouth to mouth resuscitation, for God's sake!' The fireman replies, 'How do you think this all got started?'
    Quote Originally Posted by Bean
    I admit that I'm a lazy lying cretin, but so what?
    25 June 2018

  2. #6482

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    What do you give donkeys for lunch?



    Half an hour, the same as the camels.
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  3. #6483

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    What do you call a magical dog?
    A labracadabrador.
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  4. #6484

    TPAFKAk2p2

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    The days start getting shorter from now on.
    So tomorrow will be Saturda.

  5. #6485

    My post count is Majestic

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    Quote Originally Posted by mudskipper View Post
    The days start getting shorter from now on.
    So tomorrow will be Saturda.
    That would make countdown a bit easier as well.
    'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

  6. #6486

    TPAFKAk2p2

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    Quote Originally Posted by northernladuk View Post
    That would make countdown a bit easier as well.
    How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BULLBIGHT?

  7. #6487

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    Quote Originally Posted by mudskipper View Post
    How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BULLBIGHT?

    2 top ones and 4 from anywhere else.
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  8. #6488

    My post count is Majestic

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    Quote Originally Posted by mudskipper View Post
    How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BULLBIGHT?
    A mate of mine had just been hospitalised after taking an 'E'. The security on Countdown don't mess about.
    'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

  9. #6489

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    A mate of mine on Facebook was commenting that he really didn't like The Cure.

    I replied that I find The Prevention far better

    Then another friend piped up "Placebo does it for me, but I'm not sure why"
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  10. #6490

    TPAFKAk2p2

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    Why did the baker have smelly hands?
    Because he kneaded a poo.

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