Please put more jokes here Please put more jokes here - Page 746
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  1. #7451

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    If a drummer comes out of retirement, will there be repercussions?
    I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
    Hands... out infractions
    Face... the music
    Space... between the ears

  2. #7452

    My post count is Majestic

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    I phoned up a hotel and the receptionist said hello best western.



    I said Unforgiven with Clint Eastwood .
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  3. #7453

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    Life is like a box of chocolates.


    Quickly destroyed by my wife.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  4. #7454

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    A test that can diagnose Covid-19 in minutes will expand the capacity to detect cases in low- and middle-income countries, the WHO has said.


    That's Wales and Scotland sorted then.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  5. #7455

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    In this day and age of the snowflake masters, why isn't The Isle of Man called The Isle of Person?
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  6. #7456

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    What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
    It gets toad away.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  7. #7457

    Respect my authoritah!

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    Quote Originally Posted by vetran View Post
    In this day and age of the snowflake masters, why isn't The Isle of Man called The Isle of Person?
    And why isn't a heel called a theyll.
    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

  8. #7458

    Double Godlike!

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    Quote Originally Posted by NotAllThere View Post
    And why isn't a heel called a theyll.
    Because the origin of the word has nothing to do with gender?

  9. #7459

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    Quote Originally Posted by ladymuck View Post
    Because the origin of the word has nothing to do with gender?

    Neither does Man. Look up Wyf & Wer.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  10. #7460

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    Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you." He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you." In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes." Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence." The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús."
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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