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Please put more jokes here

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    Yesterday I spotted an albino dalmatian.
    It was the least I could do for the guy.

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      It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

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        The only thing necessary for the triumph of stupidity is for clever people to spend all their time arguing with them on social media.
        …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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          I'm going back to Staples to sue them under the trade descriptions act. This roll of tape I bought from them doesn’t taste like scotch.
          …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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            Villain: ok we've injected you with truth serum


            Tony the Tiger: they're fine
            …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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              It's funny how the UFO sightings have reduced drastically since mobile phone cameras became better.
              …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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                A man has been accused of breaking into Currys and sticking a broken USB cable up his arse.

                He was arrested, but not charged.
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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                  I visited NLyUK recently. She raised her skirt on the left side. Tattoo of GhostofTarbera at the top of her left leg. She told me to kiss it.
                  She raised her skirt on the right side. Tattoo of OldGreg at the top of her right leg. She told me to kiss it.

                  She raised her skirt in the middle. I told her there was no way I was kissing the massive sasguru.

                  WEDIT : Thanks to PhilTheGreek : massive added.
                  Last edited by BrilloPad; 24 January 2020, 22:15. Reason: As suggested by PhilTheGreek

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                    Apparently WTFH once managed his local football team. He flooded the pitch. In case he wanted to bring on his sub.

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                      Bigamy is having one husband too many.

                      Monogamy is the same.

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