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  1. I seem to remember a friend of mine doing an...

    I seem to remember a friend of mine doing an environemntal sciences degree back in the 1980s telling me not to eat mussels as their ability to absorb pollutants made them an invaluable indicator...
  2. . . . and Northern Ireland?

    . . . and Northern Ireland?
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    "You know you're in a city pub when..." You're...

    "You know you're in a city pub when..."

    You're paying >£4 pint for crappy fizzy lager.

    :ohwell
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    What prompted this, Churchy? BTW, how's junior?

    What prompted this, Churchy?

    BTW, how's junior?
  5. Replies
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    Who, MF? Oh yeah, we know that. :rolleyes: ...

    Who, MF? Oh yeah, we know that. :rolleyes:

    What's really scary is that it's taken you two years to realise it!
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    Life's good, thanks. There looks to have been a...

    Life's good, thanks. There looks to have been a few changes to the board. What prompted the new scoring system of 'thanks' and 'likes'? Did the old rep system get hacked?
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    Greetings you bunch of CUKers!

    How is everyone?

    What's new in CUKland?
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    At the risk of duplicating my post on the Excel...

    At the risk of duplicating my post on the Excel thread; use MS-Access.

    It's quick and easy to make mock up forms with all the controls you'd normally use, you can even build some basic navigation...
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    1,116

    Use MS-Access?

    Use MS-Access?
  10. The key question here is : "would Mich?".

    The key question here is : "would Mich?".
  11. Replies
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    1,470

    First thing to do is to check whether it already...

    First thing to do is to check whether it already exists.
  12. Thread: Really?

    by wobbegong
    Replies
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    3,001

    :yay:gap:laugh

    :yay:gap:laugh
  13. Thread: Really?

    by wobbegong
    Replies
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    3,001

    sovereignty vestige quantitative :spel ...

    sovereignty
    vestige
    quantitative

    :spel

    What do they teach you kids these days?

    :wink
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    No seen the teasmade variant, but a chap I used...

    No seen the teasmade variant, but a chap I used to work with did a lot of business in Oman, and had a mosque alarm clock with the azzan as the alarm tone.

    You can get one here . . . Muslim Mosque...
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    Quite right too. Apology accepted. :happy

    Quite right too. Apology accepted.

    :happy
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    Now THAT is quite spooky! Your post wasn't there...

    Now THAT is quite spooky! Your post wasn't there when I hit 'Reply'.

    I suppose you type faster than me!!
  17. Thread: Upper brass

    by wobbegong
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    Not because you're usually late, rude and...

    Not because you're usually late, rude and scruffy, then?
    ...
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    Icy what you've done there!

    Icy what you've done there!
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    I'd have won too, if a couple of them hadn't...

    I'd have won too, if a couple of them hadn't pulled me off.

    :happy
  20. Thread: Chavtastic

    by wobbegong
    Replies
    10
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    880

    . . . and the tag!!

    . . . and the tag!!
  21. Good idea. Some loud beer-fuelled whooping and...

    Good idea. Some loud beer-fuelled whooping and raucous encouragement from the other side of the garden fence might just bring on a bit of modesty in the ladies in question. Or it might bring a charge...
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    What a next; Asians in predominantly 'White'...

    What a next; Asians in predominantly 'White' areas forced to drink beer and eat bacon sandwiches?

    Hold on a moment . . . . where's my burqua?
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    Is that a bottle of Bass on the counter?

    Is that a bottle of Bass on the counter?
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    The great, the one and only . . . ...

    The great, the one and only . . .
    ...
  25. One of the funniest descriptions ever!!!

    http://www.bitbroken.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Old-box.jpg

    :rollin:
  26. At last, something REALLY delicious at McDonalds!

    Shouldn't that be 'rearry dericious' ?

    Anyway, do you have any idea how ****ing busy I am?

    :wink
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    You got that right! He is an insufferable git of...

    You got that right! He is an insufferable git of the highest order, neither funny, incisive nor informative.
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    Absolutely spot on!! :yay: I'm off round...

    Absolutely spot on!!

    :yay:

    I'm off round to Zippys.
  29. Thread: New emoticon

    by wobbegong
    Replies
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    1,361

    Poll: By whom? Frankly, I've got better things to be...

    By whom? Frankly, I've got better things to be doing at midnight on new years' eve than hanging around on an internet forum just to get the last post of the calendar year.

    So should you, Alexei.
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    As usual, it's left to the unflappable Englishman...

    As usual, it's left to the unflappable Englishman in the room to calmly point out that this is NOT Cherie Blair, but a (and I hate the term) "looky-likey".
    ...
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    Wahey! Suity, you old dog!

    Wahey! Suity, you old dog!
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    Language, Timothy!

    Language, Timothy!
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    Fenella Fielding from 'Carry on screaming'.

    Fenella Fielding from 'Carry on screaming'.
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    "ee ain't worfit" Leaveitaht! You obviously...

    "ee ain't worfit"

    Leaveitaht! You obviously have a better class of Chav 'round your way.
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    Nah, she reminded me too much of . . . ...

    Nah, she reminded me too much of . . .

    http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsF/5667-3007.gif
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    Shut ma mouth! What about . . . Red hot chili...

    Shut ma mouth! What about . . .

    Red hot chili peppers - 21st century - YouTube
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    The Stranglers - Hanging Around (High Quality) -...

    The Stranglers - Hanging Around (High Quality) - YouTube

    and. . .

    Limelight - Rush (Official Video) - YouTube

    :music:
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    My wife has the same problem with cards for her...

    My wife has the same problem with cards for her mother. What we need is a "Here you go you miserable old bag, pick fault with this." card.

    :suicide:
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    Spendthrift! Printing costs money; email it to...

    Spendthrift! Printing costs money; email it to 'em, and be done with it.

    :mad:
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    Happy Birthday! :birthday:

    Happy Birthday!

    :birthday:
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    Bought mine yesterday; a nice bottle of Jamesons...

    Bought mine yesterday; a nice bottle of Jamesons for Boxing day.
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    Oh, no no no, it's very damp there and smells of...

    Oh, no no no, it's very damp there and smells of Brie.
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    What exactly is your point? Mine was a...

    What exactly is your point?

    Mine was a rebuttal of OwlHoot's assertion that a flamboyant character would be 'less likely' to be deviant, (presumably, due to the attention that they generate), by...
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    What an idiot!! That's no way to hold a pistol,...

    What an idiot!! That's no way to hold a pistol, you need three fingers around the grip and your index finger on the trigger or that baby' s gonna fly right out of your hand and probably hurt someone....
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    I don't recall mentioning him before, you've...

    I don't recall mentioning him before, you've obviously got a better memory than me, for such things.

    Nothing to do with his flamboyance, I find him 'creepy' in the same way you found Savile. As...
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    Oooh, good call. He does have that "you wouldn't...

    Oooh, good call. He does have that "you wouldn't want him babysitting your kids" quality.
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    :eek:

    :eek:
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    :yay:

    :yay:
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    It's only a matter of time before McDonalds have...

    It's only a matter of time before McDonalds have a 'Yuletide Special - Baby Cheeses in a blanket".
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    Agreed, It was just a comparison. Neither of them...

    Agreed, It was just a comparison. Neither of them are hilarious.

    I get the impression that Stewart Lee sees himself as more 'cerebral' than he actually is.
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