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  1. One assumes the interview questions were not...

    One assumes the interview questions were not particularly taxing...:winker:
  2. Replies
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    The cheeky bugger will probably just use my...

    The cheeky bugger will probably just use my address...:(
  3. Thread: Cancel Culture?

    by Mordac
    Replies
    63
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    1,055

    They are best avoided, imo...

    They are best avoided, imo...
  4. Thread: Lockdown

    by Mordac
    Replies
    15
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    365

    Not much, admittedly, it rather depends on the...

    Not much, admittedly, it rather depends on the mood-swings of the Mods :eyes
  5. Thread: Lockdown

    by Mordac
    Replies
    15
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    365

    Is this a Noel Edmonds question?

    Is this a Noel Edmonds question?
  6. Thread: Hedge fund DOOM

    by Mordac
    Replies
    10
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    289

    Even now the gents is closed?

    Even now the gents is closed?
  7. Thread: Lockdown

    by Mordac
    Replies
    15
    Views
    365

    Your memory playing up? Remember the 31st of...

    Your memory playing up? Remember the 31st of January? There's a lot of :ladybags: going on about what may or may not happen in the future, but the important bit has already happened.

    (Wondering...
  8. Thread: Lockdown

    by Mordac
    Replies
    15
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    365

    Yes, if you want to argue about the past...:wink

    Yes, if you want to argue about the past...:wink
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    Make that 'a while' plus six years....

    Make that 'a while' plus six years. Statistically, there's bound to be at least one this century. Will we live long enough for Suity to be proved right (eventually) though...?
  10. Thread: Lockdown

    by Mordac
    Replies
    15
    Views
    365

    If the last 15 years have taught us anything,...

    If the last 15 years have taught us anything, it's that he'll find something...
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    Fat and tasty squirrels though...:tongue

    Fat and tasty squirrels though...:tongue
  12. It is illegal in some states, apparently. Whether...

    It is illegal in some states, apparently. Whether it is illegal in any of the states it might or might not have happened in, is another question.
  13. Never heard of him. Oh, hang on, he's a she...

    Never heard of him. Oh, hang on, he's a she (almost). If I ever find myself yearning for a tattooed, potty-mouthed munter, she's got to be the one...:hug:

    And surprise, surprise, she's got a new...
  14. Thread: Who was this?

    by Mordac
    Replies
    6
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    219

    Definitely not mine, I'd remember if I had bought...

    Definitely not mine, I'd remember if I had bought a white one...
  15. Doesn't sound much like a criminal family owned...

    Doesn't sound much like a criminal family owned pub if people still have to smoke outside. Surely the whole point of being criminal is flouting the law? :smokin
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    It does if you work at Tiffany. (And do a bit of...

    It does if you work at Tiffany. (And do a bit of quiet thieving on the side...):wink
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    Ah, but which God? (Or, to put it another...

    Ah, but which God?

    (Or, to put it another way, what a load of complete bollocks...)
  18. Nah, I couldn't give a sh!t...

    Nah, I couldn't give a sh!t...
  19. Replies
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    694

    Smaller companies can't save £millions at the...

    Smaller companies can't save £millions at the stroke of a pen by choosing the cheapest option. By the time that everyone realises the cheapest option will ultimately cost millions (Hello BA, that...
  20. Thread: Good idea?

    by Mordac
    Replies
    8
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    241

    It might help if they were trained to ride their...

    It might help if they were trained to ride their scooters safely first. If they can't get that right, I have no confidence they could be trusted to wipe their own elbows...
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    And if the roads were blocked so the ambulances &...

    And if the roads were blocked so the ambulances & hearses couldn't get through, would one be allowed to laugh?
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    5g? That must be a very small phone. (Of course...

    5g?
    That must be a very small phone. (Of course in Englandshire, we'd call that 0.17oz...)
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    You want them to flee one oppressive regime for...

    You want them to flee one oppressive regime for another? That's not very nice...:wink
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    Off the top of my head, I would hazard a guess...

    Off the top of my head, I would hazard a guess that there are more non-white Christians than white Christians in the world. St Albans seems to be an unlikely place to find the cutting edge, but maybe...
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    Are you sure you've read the rulebook from cover...

    Are you sure you've read the rulebook from cover to cover...?
  26. Thread: Local lockdown

    by Mordac
    Replies
    50
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    924

    He popped round to clean her windows. And if you...

    He popped round to clean her windows. And if you think that's a euphemism, you've clearly done the whole hundred days...:wink
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    Thanks, but I'll stick to irresponsible drinking...

    Thanks, but I'll stick to irresponsible drinking at home for the foreseeable...:cheers:
  28. Thread: Local lockdown

    by Mordac
    Replies
    50
    Views
    924

    Bit harsh to blame the Major. There are plenty of...

    Bit harsh to blame the Major. There are plenty of places where lockdown rules have been widely flouted, so I expect Leicester to be the first of many areas to have restrictions reinstated.
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    I'd be more worried about a killer fart when you...

    I'd be more worried about a killer fart when you can't open the windows...

    :o
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    Or you end up with something like this? ...

    Or you end up with something like this?


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nETL4r2mrc

    :eek:
  31. Thread: Doomscrolling

    by Mordac
    Replies
    10
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    322

    One day someone will invent a word that describes...

    One day someone will invent a word that describes Scooty's posts, but we might need a whole new language for that...
  32. :nopics:

    :nopics:
  33. Replies
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    There once was a lady called Hilda Who went on a...

    There once was a lady called Hilda
    Who went on a date with a builder
    He put down his bricks
    and jumped in her knicks
    And in doing so damn nearly killed 'er

    :igmc:
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    Yeah, that would do it...

    Yeah, that would do it...
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    :facepalm: Paul Hardcastle

    :facepalm:

    Paul Hardcastle
  36. Slow on the uptake, as usual. Perhaps you need to...

    Slow on the uptake, as usual. Perhaps you need to use a proper search engine for a change...:wink
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    Isn't Randy Macaque a Scottish country & western...

    Isn't Randy Macaque a Scottish country & western act? I'm still not convinced that's racist, though, but I have decided that the only time I'll be woke is just after the alarm goes off, and that's it.
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    Yeah, you must have some serious RSI from posting...

    Yeah, you must have some serious RSI from posting this for the last thirty years. Oh no, wait, hang on...
    Last time you won it, the mighty Gooners won it the following year, so I expect nothing less...
  39. Try that again when you get to 50 - it's not even...

    Try that again when you get to 50 - it's not even slightly possible. Twenty minutes can be a stretch after a heavy session...:ohwell
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    He does like his Beetles, doesn't he...:winker:

    He does like his Beetles, doesn't he...:winker:
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    It's essentially an Audi, but they let the...

    It's essentially an Audi, but they let the Italians do the styling. If the Germans had done the styling, they'd somehow manage to make it look like a VW Beetle.
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    It's over USD300,000 new, I doubt Scooty has made...

    It's over USD300,000 new, I doubt Scooty has made enough to fill it up with petrol :laugh
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    Exactly, it's the green lights you need to worry...

    Exactly, it's the green lights you need to worry about, as that means there's a red light nearby that nobody is taking any notice of. :eek
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    They are selective as to whom they ban. It was a...

    They are selective as to whom they ban. It was a commercial decision, rather than a moral one, whatever the merits or otherwise of their decision. Trump will survive, whatever he says, with...
  45. Replies
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    You're supposed to leave the handbrake off when...

    You're supposed to leave the handbrake off when parked in Paris, for that reason.
  46. Replies
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    1,448

    And traffic lights are 'advisory'. When driving...

    And traffic lights are 'advisory'. When driving in Italy, always take more clean underwear than you think you'll need...:ohwell
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    Serious advice: avoid Italy*, and always hire an...

    Serious advice: avoid Italy*, and always hire an automatic. It's actually quite easy to get used to driving on the right (although most of my experience has been in the USA). Find some quiet side...
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    I suppose it depends on the ethnicity of the...

    I suppose it depends on the ethnicity of the person who made the threat. Although if a person threatens to rape a woman (even KH) they can't then complain about a tenuous racial slur in the response....
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    According to someone on the radio*, she did not...

    According to someone on the radio*, she did not "call someone a baboon", it is claimed she asked someone who had threatened her with sexual violence whether he was "hung like a baboon" (which is a...
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    Because nobody knows where the Sudetenland is......

    Because nobody knows where the Sudetenland is...

    Or, nobody wants (or has the balls to try) to tear up a thousand years of 'the British way of doing things' and adopt the German models of...
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