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  1. They're subcontracting out his brain to Dom.

    They're subcontracting out his brain to Dom.
  2. :laugh We're proud of you, you filthy...

    :laugh

    We're proud of you, you filthy spekulant.
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    MF occupies an entire postcode.

    MF occupies an entire postcode.
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    Your mouth is pretty big though.

    Your mouth is pretty big though.
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    You think we have something better to do? :laugh

    You think we have something better to do? :laugh
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    “Retail”. That’s cute. Owning a couple of dell...

    “Retail”. That’s cute. Owning a couple of dell ultrasharps and shouting into your mobile like Dom Jolly doesn’t make you a “professional”, scootie.
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    You are truly fooked, scootie. To paraphrase,...

    You are truly fooked, scootie.

    To paraphrase, you have absolutely no way out until your objective is met or you're bankrupt. I'd take a leveraged punt on which one comes first :laugh
  8. FB was correctly pointing to the situation for...

    FB was correctly pointing to the situation for contractors, given the thread title, and the mistaken assumption (by the OP) that contractors and posted workers (employees of companies that post...
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    There are lots of those among caravan owning,...

    There are lots of those among caravan owning, backwoods dwelling, cretincoin speculating, conspiracy theorist types.
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    Many people have reported doing so successfully...

    Many people have reported doing so successfully in other threads here. I think it’s a formality. If you need the money, go ahead, because the terms are good. I don’t think there’s any policing, as...
  11. Yes, that is the general rule. In most cases,...

    Yes, that is the general rule. In most cases, income earned is taxable where the work is done from day one and worldwide income is taxable only upon residency. Exceptions are states that tax on...
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    https://www.dictionary.com/e/wp-content/uploads/20...

    https://www.dictionary.com/e/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/face-with-rolling-eyes-300x300.jpg
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    You need to get help, scootie. Seriously. This...

    You need to get help, scootie. Seriously. This won't end well for you in the long run if you continue to take these epically risky punts. With highly leveraged short positions, you aren't gambling...
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    Bloodbath on the markets today. :laugh

    Bloodbath on the markets today.

    :laugh
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    I'll put you down as "one of those muppets",...

    I'll put you down as "one of those muppets", tarbie. :laugh

    Good luck with that. The idea that they won't police this retrospectively when they're stuffed for money is spectacularly naive. :D
    ...
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    They're the sort of muppets that will be targeted.

    They're the sort of muppets that will be targeted.
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    They should, in theory. But can you imagine the...

    They should, in theory. But can you imagine the optics? The banks flagged that as a concern at the outset of the CBBL scheme - big meanie bankers coming after the local corner shop etc. - so they...
  18. That's because PS and his entire family live in a...

    That's because PS and his entire family live in a caravan on the outskirts of a sink estate.
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    Ordinarily speaking, you cannot simply walk away...

    Ordinarily speaking, you cannot simply walk away from a company debt and hope that limited liability will save you.

    For example, if the money has been further borrowed as a director's loan, that...
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    I think you need to re-read what I wrote :laugh ...

    I think you need to re-read what I wrote :laugh

    ( Incidentally, there are four conditions to be met for the TAAR to apply. )
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    There's a consensus about scootie...

    There's a consensus about scootie...
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    It beggars belief that the gricer cretin can...

    It beggars belief that the gricer cretin can become decreasingly inneresting on every iteration.
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    You'll mostly find those signs on the outskirts...

    You'll mostly find those signs on the outskirts of Swindon facing in.
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    :rollin: #poopercretin

    :rollin:

    #poopercretin
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    Bears repeating... :rollin:

    Bears repeating...

    :rollin:
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    Except for that ~10% boom in May and June, right?...

    Except for that ~10% boom in May and June, right? You mean a downward spiral is coming... now... wait, now....now...it's definitely coming...now.

    :eyes

    #poopercretin
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    Like I said, a fully contracted out service is...

    Like I said, a fully contracted out service is absolutely fine. A tiny minority of contractors deliver fully contracted out services. Most UK clients of IT contractors want bums on seats under some...
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    I have no idea what you mean by "work will be...

    I have no idea what you mean by "work will be outside".

    There is no offshoring loophole. HMRC reserves the right to pursue any UK entity in the contractual chain. Since there is a UK entity in...
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    Eh? I am talking about working direct to...

    Eh?

    I am talking about working direct to clients overseas, not thrice removed contracting via UK intermediaries. There are no "schemes" or "workarounds". If any company within the contracting...
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    Or look for clients overseas (working remotely)....

    Or look for clients overseas (working remotely). It's BAU in that case, whether T&M or fixed price.
  31. Agree with the above - it will not be smooth,...

    Agree with the above - it will not be smooth, even for those with relatively simple circumstances (faffing with deemed payments to UK resident companies), let alone a cross-border element.
  32. Your EeNI payments in the UK may be counted...

    Your EeNI payments in the UK may be counted towards social security in your country of residence if there's a reciprocal social security agreement, but you would need to speak to a specialist about...
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    Interesting, and not that surprising.

    Interesting, and not that surprising.
  34. Sure, you can pay dividends or salary. A deemed...

    Sure, you can pay dividends or salary. A deemed payment has the relevant UK taxes removed and is paid to your company. You don't receive the deemed payment, your company does. Once your company...
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    Inneresting.

    Inneresting.
  36. Worst case scenario, we'll feed it MF. Best...

    Worst case scenario, we'll feed it MF.

    Best case scenario, we'll feed it MF.
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    Not too shabby.

    Not too shabby.
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    :laugh

    :laugh
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    scootie’s available...

    scootie’s available
  40. She’s preordered a Jeroboam.

    She’s preordered a Jeroboam.
  41. Payments in cretincoins only. 20% surcharge if...

    Payments in cretincoins only. 20% surcharge if you want rent-a-scootie’s nurse to watch.
  42. KUATB...

    KUATB
  43. What was the accelerated timescale? The house...

    What was the accelerated timescale? The house building stuff does some sleight of hand w/ 5 years funding and 8 years delivery, but I think that is the same timetable and money they announced before....
  44. But not many new promises that I could see(?)...

    But not many new promises that I could see(?) It's the usual pattern of announcing something once, then re-announcing it N more times.
  45. So, yeah, 10 June.

    So, yeah, 10 June.
  46. Employees must have been furloughed for a minimum...

    Employees must have been furloughed for a minimum of three weeks by today, so the effective closing date for new applicants to the CJRS was 10 June. In short, you've missed out on the CJRS, as I...
  47. It isn’t HMRC that decides, it’s Parliament and...

    It isn’t HMRC that decides, it’s Parliament and HMRC frequently has no clue about the legislation that binds them. In contrast, professionals do, so always speak to them first.
  48. Yeah, calling HMRC probably won't resolve...

    Yeah, calling HMRC probably won't resolve anything. :laugh You simply cannot rely on their advice for atypical situations (because they would rather pull something out their **** than say they don't...
  49. I am speaking from personal experience too having...

    I am speaking from personal experience too having done this several times. You are non-resident from the moment your residency ends. Although the determination may be retrospective, the reality...
  50. If you complete a SATR, then you don't need to...

    If you complete a SATR, then you don't need to complete a P85, but I think the OP would be looking for a timely NT code to pass on to the fee payer, probably well before their SATR is due and I think...
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