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  1. Replies
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    :laugh How long have you been saving that one up...

    :laugh
    How long have you been saving that one up for?
  2. Replies
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    And you wonder why (almost) everyone thinks...

    And you wonder why (almost) everyone thinks you're a complete ****?
    The last time something so unpleasant arrived from the land of the dykes, it was rapidly spread by rats.
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    Street-food with benefits?

    Street-food with benefits?
  4. Replies
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    That's not how you spell tent or towpath. :wink

    That's not how you spell tent or towpath. :wink
  5. Replies
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    Nice to see nobody gives a toss about the ducks. ...

    Nice to see nobody gives a toss about the ducks.

    I assume your neighbour has a good recipe?
    If not, the local Chinese takeaway will make it worth his while...
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    Shouldn't be any, assuming it's his main home.

    Shouldn't be any, assuming it's his main home.
  7. Replies
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    154

    What do you think he's going do do? Declare war...

    What do you think he's going do do? Declare war on Germany so Camberwell gets carpet-bombed by the Luftwaffe again?
    Oh. I've said too much...:emb
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    And once they've deep fried it, no-one will care.

    And once they've deep fried it, no-one will care.
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    It was an admin error. Had he claimed against a...

    It was an admin error. Had he claimed against a different allowance it would have been perfectly legitimate, but he ticked the wrong box. I bet there's a few on here who have sailed close to the wind...
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    It won't look much like a squirrel when it gets...

    It won't look much like a squirrel when it gets there though...
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    Russia had nothing to do with Brexit

    So says none other than Cleggy:

    Facebook: Nick Clegg says 'no evidence' of Russian interference in Brexit vote - BBC News

    That rather urinates on our resident dissidents parade, does it not?
  12. Replies
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    My sarcasm detector is working; yours sort of...

    My sarcasm detector is working; yours sort of isn't, it seems...:wink
  13. Replies
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    As an aside, the ship had an "interesting"...

    As an aside, the ship had an "interesting" history. The Nazis used it to transport thousands of Jews from Norway to the Death Camps. It was bombed many times but never sunk, and confiscated after the...
  14. Replies
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    Poll: I was thinking the same thing. I saw the Foreign...

    I was thinking the same thing. I saw the Foreign Secretary at close quarters on the same day, and he had 4 protection officers around him. The Chancellor is clearly expendable.
  15. One slip though and you're looking at a sexual...

    One slip though and you're looking at a sexual assault charge. :eek
  16. Replies
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    Normally I'd GAS about these appointments, in...

    Normally I'd GAS about these appointments, in that I like to know who'll be running our lives for the next 5 years. We're leaving though, so I really don't. :smokin
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    Same year wasn't it?

    Same year wasn't it?
  18. Replies
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    Cuckoo clocks are a German invention, dummkopf......

    Cuckoo clocks are a German invention, dummkopf...

    :wink
  19. Replies
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    391

    Is it that there are too many candidates? Can't...

    Is it that there are too many candidates? Can't say I blame them, all that power and absolutely no accountability, who wouldn't want one of those jobs?
    Or is it that this is the only time MEPs get...
  20. We've already had one of those...

    We've already had one of those, and it didn't work out so well for him.
  21. I do hope so...

    I do hope so...
  22. Replies
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    Feel free to stay where you are...

    Feel free to stay where you are...
  23. I'd have said dump the geezer, but it's lasted a...

    I'd have said dump the geezer, but it's lasted a year, so he must have some talents...

    :igmc:
  24. Thread: Raab gone

    by Mordac
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    That may change, and it rather depends on how...

    That may change, and it rather depends on how much of the £39bn they want to see. Let's hope they haven't spent it already...
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    He's leaving one swamp for another. The music...

    He's leaving one swamp for another. The music might be better, but he'd need to be very selective...
  26. This isn't autobiographical, is it?

    This isn't autobiographical, is it?
  27. Thread: Raab gone

    by Mordac
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    Don't you mean "down the river"?

    Don't you mean "down the river"?
  28. Replies
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    If you're a bailiff or an undertaker...

    If you're a bailiff or an undertaker...
  29. Replies
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    Here's a thought. Stop posting crap from the...

    Here's a thought. Stop posting crap from the Graun, and we'll agree to forget that we disagree. :hug:
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    A question science may never be able to explain...

    A question science may never be able to explain...
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    Nothing to do with his being political plankton...

    Nothing to do with his being political plankton then...
  32. Thread: The Alliance

    by Mordac
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    What makes you think I'm a Boris fan? (Clue, I'm...

    What makes you think I'm a Boris fan? (Clue, I'm really not...)
  33. I'm not sure your plan would work. I see myself...

    I'm not sure your plan would work. I see myself as more of a battery penguin. The exams are easier. Not to mention the orifice fits the battery more easily. Plus the evening wear is that bit more...
  34. Thread: The Alliance

    by Mordac
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    And if we'd had a PM with something resembling a...

    And if we'd had a PM with something resembling a backbone that might have happened...
  35. Thread: Out of options

    by Mordac
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    It doesn't hurt nearly as much when you say...

    It doesn't hurt nearly as much when you say it...:wink
  36. Thread: The Alliance

    by Mordac
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    You probably need to stop reading the Graun, they...

    You probably need to stop reading the Graun, they like to play a little game called "clutching at a straw"...
  37. No need for vets, when the food shortages kick in...

    No need for vets, when the food shortages kick in we'll be eating all the sick animals. And some of the healthy ones, if they're tasty enough. Yum...
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    Telegraph Tribute...

    Telegraph Tribute
  39. Replies
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    Indeed, she survived the Nelson. Nelson (cricket)...

    Indeed, she survived the Nelson. Nelson (cricket) - Wikipedia

    :igmc:
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    When the time comes, you'll find me kipping on...

    When the time comes, you'll find me kipping on one of AtW's sofas, Flat 3, above Squirrel Kebabs, Birmingham.
    I'll put up a hell of a fight, so bring the riot gear and plenty of armed backup.
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    You're the expert at insulting anyone and...

    You're the expert at insulting anyone and everyone who vaguely disagrees with you, so you tell me...
  42. Replies
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    Trust me, it wasn't meant to be. :smokin

    Trust me, it wasn't meant to be. :smokin
  43. Thread: Out of options

    by Mordac
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    Well you do ask for it...:winker:

    Well you do ask for it...:winker:
  44. Thread: Brexit to blame

    by Mordac
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    I can't think what you may mean... :laugh

    I can't think what you may mean...

    :laugh
  45. Thread: Brexit to blame

    by Mordac
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    Bad reviews on Tripadvisor*, you mean? *You...

    Bad reviews on Tripadvisor*, you mean?

    *You know who you are, and you know what to do...:wink :wink
  46. Replies
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    "Chief People Officer"? That doesn't sound...

    "Chief People Officer"? That doesn't sound remotely sinister...:eyes
  47. Thread: Brexit to blame

    by Mordac
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    BS. Patisserie Valerie was down to fraud, Jamie...

    BS. Patisserie Valerie was down to fraud, Jamie Oliver's was down to his BiLs incompetence, Debenhams hasn't gone yet. You can't just make stuff up, and blame something that hasn't happened yet....
  48. Thread: Boris for PM

    by Mordac
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    You mean Boris? That was Darmy, that was...

    You mean Boris? That was Darmy, that was...
  49. Thread: Out of options

    by Mordac
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    We could always try and export you. I'd pay the...

    We could always try and export you. I'd pay the import tariff at the other end myself. There must be loads of potential takers. Not...
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    You might have stood a chance when Oliver...

    You might have stood a chance when Oliver Cromwell died in 1658, but the job went to his son, so the first chance we had to have some sort of democratic head of state, we ended up with a hereditary...
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