Search Results - Contractor UK Bulletin Board

Search:

Type: Posts; User: Mordac

Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 4

Search: Search took 0.03 seconds; generated 57 minute(s) ago.

  1. Thread: Dead today

    by Mordac
    Replies
    11
    Views
    375

    It probably felt like that, but it was just...

    It probably felt like that, but it was just me...:bluelight
  2. What I'd like to call them is far worse. NAT...

    What I'd like to call them is far worse. NAT thinks it's racist, and he has the hammer so he wins. You can still use anti-semitic slurs though, if that floats your boat. :eyes
  3. He's got the morals of Mordac, and looks like one...

    He's got the morals of Mordac, and looks like one for good measure. :winker:
  4. Replies
    38
    Views
    665

    I'm not on Twatter - is this a wind-up? No...

    I'm not on Twatter - is this a wind-up? No mention of this momentous news on the Beeb or the Graun.

    :tumble:
  5. Replies
    11
    Views
    400

    As in 'he's got the horn, but he's hoping his...

    As in 'he's got the horn, but he's hoping his cellmate doesn't'...?
  6. Replies
    34
    Views
    723

    She had better hope that if she ever goes for...

    She had better hope that if she ever goes for another job the new employer doesn't google her. That's when one can judge whether she came out of this episode 'well'.
  7. Replies
    11
    Views
    400

    By the looks of him, he'd probably prefer raw...

    By the looks of him, he'd probably prefer raw meat...
  8. Replies
    59
    Views
    1,422

    Even if you add them all together? :wink

    Even if you add them all together? :wink
  9. Yes, that's the Boris Clause... Since nobody's...

    Yes, that's the Boris Clause...

    Since nobody's actually helped Boris with a list of parks which are closer to SW1 than Stratford, I'll start with a few:
    St James's Park
    Green Park
    Hyde Park...
  10. Replies
    10
    Views
    287

    Poll: Well that's not going to get slaughtered by the...

    Well that's not going to get slaughtered by the gender police on Twatter, is it...
  11. Replies
    19
    Views
    364

    Don't worry, the EU Commission President says...

    Don't worry, the EU Commission President says 'nothing to see here'. Interesting phone call later?
    "Ursula, haben wir ein kleine problem?"
    "Nein, Mutti..."

    *Apologies for the very rusty German...
  12. Replies
    34
    Views
    723

    Is there much of a market in Viking Beards? ...

    Is there much of a market in Viking Beards?

    https://e3.365dm.com/21/01/1600x900/skynews-jake-angeli-usa-us_5232482.jpg?bypass-service-worker&20210109174448

    Silly question...
  13. Replies
    6
    Views
    273

    Who else thought 'slap the chicken' was a...

    Who else thought 'slap the chicken' was a euphemism...?

    :igmc:
  14. Replies
    59
    Views
    1,422

    INSKPE By 'more suitable for a single bloke', I...

    INSKPE
    By 'more suitable for a single bloke', I think he means 'a luxury penthouse'. :wink
  15. Replies
    19
    Views
    364

    EU Rules Flouted...

    ...by the Germans. Who'd have thunk it...:laugh

    Germany accused of breaching EU rules by purchasing supplies of vaccine unilaterally
  16. Replies
    34
    Views
    723

    There's nothing professional about anything on...

    There's nothing professional about anything on Twatter.
    Great response from the boss though - 'put on your big girl pants and grow up'. Classic.
  17. The original post was for the UK as a whole, not...

    The original post was for the UK as a whole, not specifically NI or IRE, both of which are in the Single Market. I thought Brexit was supposed to cause food shortages in the UK, not the EU. Perhaps...
  18. And more importantly, plenty of booze as well...

    And more importantly, plenty of booze as well...
  19. Sir Stuart Rose, former Remainer-in-Chief. Brexit...

    Sir Stuart Rose, former Remainer-in-Chief. Brexit must be mentioned at every opportunity, even if it's barely relevant. Ocado sell M&S produce, and they're not having any problems.
  20. Replies
    13
    Views
    343

    We'll see, shall we? If he ends up in Old Sparky,...

    We'll see, shall we? If he ends up in Old Sparky, I'll buy you an extra large Doner with double chilli sauce, OK?
  21. Replies
    8
    Views
    319

    Mine says it's 'active and scanning'. I haven't...

    Mine says it's 'active and scanning'. I haven't been ill, so it must be working well. :banana:
  22. Replies
    13
    Views
    343

    I didn't say it was up to Biden, I was pointing...

    I didn't say it was up to Biden, I was pointing out that he won't want to see Trump on the front pages for the next year (or more). And good luck getting Trump to stay silent while all that rumbles...
  23. Replies
    13
    Views
    343

    I doubt Biden wants Trump to be daily headline...

    I doubt Biden wants Trump to be daily headline news for the next year, even if it's a case of how much jail time everyone thinks he'll get. :eyes
  24. As you can see into the future, could you pm me...

    As you can see into the future, could you pm me with Septembers lottery numbers please? I've been offered a flu jab twice (once in November, and again in the last week), and chose not to have it....
  25. I couldn't do that to poor little Sadiq. He...

    I couldn't do that to poor little Sadiq. He always looks like he's just been crying, bless 'im...
  26. He even had the perfect code-phrase: "I fancy a...

    He even had the perfect code-phrase: "I fancy a curry tonight"...

    :igmc:
  27. Replies
    33
    Views
    915

    I'm just trying to picture you in cage fighting...

    I'm just trying to picture you in cage fighting shorts. It's be like seeing Biggins turn up in a battle scene from GoT...

    :eyes
  28. Doesn't stop Sadiq Khan't riding around / sitting...

    Doesn't stop Sadiq Khan't riding around / sitting in his own traffic jams in one.
  29. Replies
    33
    Views
    915

    Only if you've got something worth nicking...:wink

    Only if you've got something worth nicking...:wink
  30. Are these still British? Boris might struggle to...

    Are these still British? Boris might struggle to get all the kids in though...

    http://classiccars.brightwells.com/images/lots/DSC_5308_1280x848.jpg
  31. Replies
    1,923
    Views
    229,901

    Charles Campion - Food critic dies aged 69

    A man who clearly enjoyed his work.

    Masterchef Critic Charles Campion Dies Aged 69 - Eater London
  32. Replies
    19
    Views
    377

    Up to now nobody's been stupid enough to actually...

    Up to now nobody's been stupid enough to actually do it.
  33. Replies
    13
    Views
    388

    That's the Graun's readership shrinking away...

    That's the Graun's readership shrinking away...
  34. Replies
    4
    Views
    269

    'Tis true, the only reasons people go there are...

    'Tis true, the only reasons people go there are for drugs or prostitution. I went there for the Rijksmuseum (and some football at the Arena, back in the days when Arsenal played European opponents in...
  35. He wanted to spend £20 on a couple of refugees...

    He wanted to spend £20 on a couple of refugees currently playing Sunday league in Croatia. The tightwad.
  36. Thread: RIP Mrs W

    by Mordac
    Replies
    44
    Views
    1,711

    I don't know what to say, except to extend my...

    I don't know what to say, except to extend my deepest sympathies. :hug:
  37. Replies
    6
    Views
    291

    LadBaby bags third straight Christmas number one...

    LadBaby bags third straight Christmas number one - BBC News

    Called it :happy :music:

    :yay:
  38. Replies
    16
    Views
    435

    Does that affect private jets? If not, nobody...

    Does that affect private jets? If not, nobody here cares...
  39. We've gone from being largely ignored to being...

    We've gone from being largely ignored to being completely ignored. On the plus side, we can't be forced into the Euro, or any form of European nation state. I'll take that overall as an improvement...
  40. Replies
    17
    Views
    501

    It's all stollen and rotkohl for Aldi?

    It's all stollen and rotkohl for Aldi?
  41. Thread: Come join me...

    by Mordac
    Replies
    14
    Views
    369

    I had to cross the border to pick up a turkey...

    I had to cross the border to pick up a turkey from Waitrose, but I ordered it before the rules changed so that's OK, isn't it?
  42. Replies
    41
    Views
    1,380

    Given his new health regime, he won't be able to...

    Given his new health regime, he won't be able to enjoy any of it. :laugh
  43. Replies
    41
    Views
    1,380

    Boris clearly doesn't care about staying on in...

    Boris clearly doesn't care about staying on in the job, if he just surrendered to the French. :mad
  44. Replies
    16
    Views
    468

    ...but no porn? :smokin

    ...but no porn? :smokin
  45. Replies
    33
    Views
    745

    IMHO he's blaming the wrong treaty. ...

    IMHO he's blaming the wrong treaty.

    https://europa.eu/european-union/sites/europaeu/files/docs/body/treaty_on_european_union_en.pdf

    No mention anywhere of a democratic vote of the people. God...
  46. Replies
    37
    Views
    1,045

    A Fiat is generally measured in scrap value. Much...

    A Fiat is generally measured in scrap value. Much like most of your former vehicles...:smokin
  47. Replies
    33
    Views
    745

    Gissa clue then.

    Gissa clue then.
  48. Thread: Project Fear

    by Mordac
    Replies
    43
    Views
    1,511

    It's virtually a chemical weapon. Perhaps that's...

    It's virtually a chemical weapon. Perhaps that's what Saddam had...?
  49. Replies
    37
    Views
    1,045

    Ah, you mean where the average price of a family...

    Ah, you mean where the average price of a family house is less than a million? Not many of those left.
  50. Replies
    33
    Views
    745

    Building a fence to keep out illegal immigrants...

    Building a fence to keep out illegal immigrants isn't the same thing*. (If that's what you were referring to?)

    *I'm not condoning that, btw.
Results 1 to 50 of 500
Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 4