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  1. Replies
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    Wash all her white stuff at 90 degrees with at...

    Wash all her white stuff at 90 degrees with at least one red sock. You will be relieved of washing duties immediately and permanently. :D
  2. Replies
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    Only if the police were called...:bluelight

    Only if the police were called...:bluelight
  3. Thread: Unemployed

    by Mordac
    Replies
    11
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    535

    I was planning to use a finger actually...

    I was planning to use a finger actually...
  4. Thread: ContractorUK

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    559

    Only if the C is silent...

    Only if the C is silent...
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    Can you leave Elland Road until after May, I'm...

    Can you leave Elland Road until after May, I'm quite enjoying watching history repeating itself...:smokin
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    Joined Oct 2005. That's what I call a slow...

    Joined Oct 2005. That's what I call a slow burner. Can't be my sockie, I'd have forgotten the password. So go on, own up, which one of you was it?
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    Very good. Your strategy of 'having no friends'...

    Very good. Your strategy of 'having no friends' looks like it's starting to pay off. Think of all the cash you'll be saving by not having to send cards to anyone...:wink
  8. Thread: ContractorUK

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    559

    I assume you mean Bumpkin...?

    I assume you mean Bumpkin...?
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    518

    A smokeless BBQ? I know you're a girl, but there...

    A smokeless BBQ? I know you're a girl, but there are rules about BBQs and you are supposed to observe them. One of the most important rules is that there should be so much smoke that one of your...
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    But he's a Glaswegian, so he won't have to look...

    But he's a Glaswegian, so he won't have to look far to find something else to be miserable about...
  11. No, they said employees can't claim expenses for...

    No, they said employees can't claim expenses for meals which contain meat.
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    You live in London, so your BBQ will be next....

    You live in London, so your BBQ will be next. You'll be allowed to own an electric one, but you won't be allowed to cook any meat on it. Just so you know...:tongue
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    Really? I'll buy you a pint of whatever you run...

    Really? I'll buy you a pint of whatever you run on if that ever happens. Petrol, diesel and cider are quite easy. Fook knows where I'm going to get a pint of two-stroke though...
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    Oh yeah, I forgot, in the Numptyworld we're going...

    Oh yeah, I forgot, in the Numptyworld we're going to ban all non-British artists from ever playing here. Only a total knobhead would even think that might happen.
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    Makes you wonder how the 1960's ever happened. As...

    Makes you wonder how the 1960's ever happened. As in, when the Beatles managed to go to Hamburg before most people had ever heard of them. The biggest problem they had was George was underage, but...
  16. Thread: Vegans

    by Mordac
    Replies
    58
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    1,321

    Or cheesy. One can never tell until the dish...

    Or cheesy. One can never tell until the dish arrives...
  17. Thread: Vegans

    by Mordac
    Replies
    58
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    1,321

    I draw the line at eating their meat and two veg...

    I draw the line at eating their meat and two veg though...
  18. Replies
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    575

    There's a mountain of paperwork regardless. TBH,...

    There's a mountain of paperwork regardless. TBH, there's a mountain of paperwork if they want to play Butlins in Bognor. I'm not seeing your actual point though?
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    Now who's twisting? You previously said "most...

    Now who's twisting?
    You previously said "most shootings are carried out by far-right extremists" and I think we've established that is patently not true, even allowing for your convoluted...
  20. Replies
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    That seems to be the thread of most of your...

    That seems to be the thread of most of your arguments. Nasty white people shooting black people etc. And when you bring politics onto the table, it's all "I bet that white-supremacist neo-nazi ******...
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    Over qualified, I'd say... :igmc:

    Over qualified, I'd say...

    :igmc:
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    And the difference between them and Stalin is...?

    And the difference between them and Stalin is...?
  23. Replies
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    He has even worse luck when it come to providing...

    He has even worse luck when it come to providing facts to back up some of his more outlandish suggestions. In 'the other place*' he'd call it "making stuff up while knowing it to be complete bollox"....
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    No I don't. And I find myself wondering why you...

    No I don't. And I find myself wondering why you think they are. They are extremists. Period. Religious fanaticism doesn't have a political slant. To put it in very simple terms, which in your case I...
  25. Replies
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    Or in my case, dangerously close to home...:eek

    Or in my case, dangerously close to home...:eek
  26. Replies
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    Do you want to contradict yourself again? Most...

    Do you want to contradict yourself again? Most shootings are not carried out by far-right extremists. They are carried out by criminals, guerrilla fighters, resistance fighters, mafiosi, sky-fairy...
  27. Thread: Unemployed

    by Mordac
    Replies
    11
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    535

    A 'gammon' is a word you have heard which sounds...

    A 'gammon' is a word you have heard which sounds funny. I feel much the same about 'dyke'.
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    Most shootings (worldwide) happen in places where...

    Most shootings (worldwide) happen in places where guns are easy to come by. Like America (as in all of the south and central, and the north except Canada). And the Middle East, Africa, and anywhere...
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    "Wait, I'll show you my Freddie Mercury...

    "Wait, I'll show you my Freddie Mercury impression"...
  30. Replies
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    You don't half talk a load of bollox...

    You don't half talk a load of bollox...
  31. Thread: Unemployed

    by Mordac
    Replies
    11
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    535

    He's a broadcaster now. You can have the pleasure...

    He's a broadcaster now. You can have the pleasure of listening to him on LBC 6-7pm Mon-Thur and 10-12 on Sunday mornings. I think they have an app thingy if you don't have internet radio. Go on, you...
  32. Thread: Unemployed

    by Mordac
    Replies
    11
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    535

    Strange headline. Who's unemployed?

    Strange headline. Who's unemployed?
  33. Thread: Sue Ellen

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    Dunno if you noticed, but come April, for most of...

    Dunno if you noticed, but come April, for most of us, contracting will have become a thing of the past.
  34. Thread: Sue Ellen

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    632

    Indeed. The best way to 'tick all the boxes' is...

    Indeed. The best way to 'tick all the boxes' is to, quite literally, tick all the boxes. You won't get the job, of course, because even the slowest HR goon will eventually notice that you're taking...
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    Not sure I'd go that far, but she certainly made...

    Not sure I'd go that far, but she certainly made astronomy interesting at an age when I shouldn't have given a monkeys...RIP...:frown
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    We bought them all in the gift shop, fair and...

    We bought them all in the gift shop, fair and square. We can't remember where we put the receipts though...:wink
  37. There's minimal direction, and absolutely no...

    There's minimal direction, and absolutely no control whatsoever. He'll be fine...:laugh
  38. Thread: Who was this?

    by Mordac
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    Genius, a very large drink to whomever did that.

    Genius, a very large drink to whomever did that.
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    We'll send them back by Parcelforce, so there's...

    We'll send them back by Parcelforce, so there's no chance of them ending up in Athens...:smokin
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    I see what you did there...:smokin (I hope he...

    I see what you did there...:smokin

    (I hope he was careful...:igmc:)
  41. Replies
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    Yep, it was a straight choice between two middle...

    Yep, it was a straight choice between two middle aged white males. The one-legged mixed-race lesbian pygmy woman had a face like fooking thunder, I can tell you...:rolleyes:
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    :tumble:

    :tumble:
  43. Replies
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    Agree about Harris, he should have been deported....

    Agree about Harris, he should have been deported. Johnson wasn't convicted of anything. And I believe this law only covers serious crimes, Johnson wasn't a dealer (according to his version of events...
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    2 spells there between 2007-2009, total of about...

    2 spells there between 2007-2009, total of about 16 months. (Mainly White City.) :moon:
  45. Replies
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    No it isn't. Anyone who's worked there will...

    No it isn't. Anyone who's worked there will confirm that the BBC is full of lefties. They may mean well, but if you're not a fully paid-up member of the Righteous Party, you'd do very well to keep...
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    I have a modicum of sympathy for the guy, as a...

    I have a modicum of sympathy for the guy, as a career criminal in Jamaica he's going to find out what hard justice really means. Thankfully I wasn't one of his victims. But I do think I'm smart...
  47. Quite. I miss the good old days of the wine lake....

    Quite. I miss the good old days of the wine lake. Turns out it wasn't a real lake. That would have been a great sailing holiday...:ohwell
  48. Replies
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    A proper professional would have put in a decent...

    A proper professional would have put in a decent long-term fix. Just saying...:wink
  49. You're not a fan of blood sports I take it. Oh...

    You're not a fan of blood sports I take it. Oh no, of course you wouldn't be. Next time can you leave him alive for just long enough so we can all join in?
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    I also did that once. I ended up working with MF....

    I also did that once. I ended up working with MF. You can probably work out the rest...:ohwell
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