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  1. Go to the next CUK social event, and much will...

    Go to the next CUK social event, and much will become clear...:wink
  2. Trouble is, the location (Portsmouth) would tend...

    Trouble is, the location (Portsmouth) would tend to indicate there's a military aspect (possibly something to do with submarines). Suity might as well watch *that episode* of the Simpsons for all...
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    Unlike most of the newspapers of today... ...

    Unlike most of the newspapers of today...

    :igmc:
  4. Suity and nuclear materials. What could possibly...

    Suity and nuclear materials. What could possibly go wrong...? :freaky:
  5. Replies
    69
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    1,262

    What did they do, ask Diane Abbott twice...? ...

    What did they do, ask Diane Abbott twice...?

    :igmc:
  6. Replies
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    He can't do that without Labour (a two-thirds...

    He can't do that without Labour (a two-thirds majority in Parliament is needed to call a GE*) and Labour aren't playing along.

    *Thanks to the Fixed Term Parliaments Act.
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    Strictly brown envelopes, untraceable notes. You...

    Strictly brown envelopes, untraceable notes. You know the drill...:smokin
  8. So you're quite happy to cough up for "expenses"....

    So you're quite happy to cough up for "expenses". If the alleged Tory was claiming for clean-up tissues, we'd be in some sort of agreement, but you're so full of sh1t, and not willing to post links,...
  9. Replies
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    1,509

    It's proof that you're a colossal cockwit, and if...

    It's proof that you're a colossal cockwit, and if you'd heard any Euro-pop recently you'd be screaming to have no part of any of it.
  10. INKSPE. :D

    INKSPE. :D
  11. Replies
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    760

    If we're crowdfunding this, I'll make it £220...

    If we're crowdfunding this, I'll make it £220...
  12. He's overpaying for his Sky subscription. I'll...

    He's overpaying for his Sky subscription. I'll rephrase that. We're overpaying for his Sky subscription. Mine is £68 (with Sports, without movies). Is he claiming for all the naughty channels as...
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    884

    Airport hotels...

    Airport hotels...
  14. Replies
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    499

    I'm sure I've eaten worse in France. And Germany...

    I'm sure I've eaten worse in France. And Germany for that matter. :puke:
  15. EU propaganda good, Russian propaganda bad...

    EU propaganda good, Russian propaganda bad...
  16. Thread: 16 days to go

    by Mordac
    Replies
    51
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    1,070

    In a race to the bottom, we need all the turds we...

    In a race to the bottom, we need all the turds we can lay our hands on...
  17. Thread: 16 days to go

    by Mordac
    Replies
    51
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    1,070

    That make two of you then. Got your backs packed...

    That make two of you then. Got your backs packed yet? :smokin
  18. Replies
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    884

    Thanks. I was expecting to find he was...

    Thanks. I was expecting to find he was historically in favour of a united Ireland or something similar. It seems he's actually so pro-Brexit that whatever happens to NI is "collateral damage", and...
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    75% of some Daily Excess readers? Hardly what one...

    75% of some Daily Excess readers? Hardly what one might call a representative sample.
  20. Replies
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    Recruitment agencies say lots of things (and most...

    Recruitment agencies say lots of things (and most of them will turn out to be either exaggerated or wholly untrue), it's probably best to go along with them for now and wait and see what the client...
  21. Replies
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    When Ken Clarke speaks, half the nation tries to...

    When Ken Clarke speaks, half the nation tries to sleep...
  22. Replies
    33
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    884

    Whose opinion is that (it's presumably not an...

    Whose opinion is that (it's presumably not an editorial piece)?
    Knowing who said that makes answering the question easier (or not).
  23. Replies
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    21,852

    Just pick up 20 copies of the ES and use them for...

    Just pick up 20 copies of the ES and use them for the purpose for which they seem most suitable. Simples...:D
  24. Thread: Brexit RomComm

    by Mordac
    Replies
    9
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    264

    There's supposed to be a 2 year transition...

    There's supposed to be a 2 year transition period. So nothing changes overnight. Or probably ever...
  25. Thread: Post Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
    29
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    783

    Don't you go blaming your colossal cock craving...

    Don't you go blaming your colossal cock craving on a 4 year old...:rollin:
  26. Thread: Post Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
    29
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    783

    My, your son has a potty mouth. You really need...

    My, your son has a potty mouth. You really need to vet some of his responses...
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    Your personality alone ought to preclude...

    Your personality alone ought to preclude that...:wink
  28. Thread: Go live week!

    by Mordac
    Replies
    33
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    1,134

    Chuck in some garlic bread and we might just have...

    Chuck in some garlic bread and we might just have a deal...:tongue
  29. Thread: Post Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
    29
    Views
    783

    You're forgetting, there are two criteria. The...

    You're forgetting, there are two criteria. The second being that the method of demise has to be spectacular in some way. He could crash into the moon in a stolen Bugatti Veyron, and still make it...
  30. Thread: Go live week!

    by Mordac
    Replies
    33
    Views
    1,134

    Do what MF did and blame an incompetent...

    Do what MF did and blame an incompetent contractor. :o

    (I'm available for a couple of days next week, if you're still stuck...)
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    No, he's on a week-long holiday, back tomorrow I...

    No, he's on a week-long holiday, back tomorrow I believe...:wink
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    If the build quality of his cars was anything...

    If the build quality of his cars was anything like that of his vacuum cleaners, they'd break down if you so much as looked at one...

    :bang:
  33. Just the one would do it...:eek

    Just the one would do it...:eek
  34. I'm guessing you're a number 1. Number 2 would...

    I'm guessing you're a number 1. Number 2 would involve you finding a girl to breed with, and that's stretching things a little bit too far...
  35. It's about the only thing that's legal on a...

    It's about the only thing that's legal on a Sunday in Switzerland...
  36. Thread: Post Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
    29
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    783

    Give it a month or so, and he'll have overtaken...

    Give it a month or so, and he'll have overtaken you...
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    Stop polluting the Brexit forum with useful,...

    Stop polluting the Brexit forum with useful, insightful information. You know the rules...:wink
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    Because that's what suits you best? That's not...

    Because that's what suits you best? That's not how it works. Only 3 weeks until deportation...:laugh
  39. Thread: Post Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
    29
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    783

    :rollin: I'm not sure there are enough body bags...

    :rollin: I'm not sure there are enough body bags in the south of England for that to work. You really are a clueless twat, but every now and then you do come out with something inadvertently...
  40. Thread: Post Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
    29
    Views
    783

    Which is presumably why you'd rather be ruled by...

    Which is presumably why you'd rather be ruled by the Germans (and everyone else apart from the Scots)...
  41. Thread: Post Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
    29
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    783

    Brussels, surely?

    Brussels, surely?
  42. Replies
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    Poll: I can think of a third. One day, your child will...

    I can think of a third. One day, your child will be a 6-foot lump, and you'll be a 70-year-old semi-crippled old git. You'd better hope he shows more restraint than you did...
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    I'll have two :D :cheers::cheers: Happy...

    I'll have two :D

    :cheers::cheers:

    Happy Birthday :music:
  44. Thread: Boris resigns

    by Mordac
    Replies
    47
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    1,141

    Deutschland, in case your irony filter got...

    Deutschland, in case your irony filter got clogged...

    Nice tactic, sooner or later the thick twatty Brexiter will inadvertently post something really inflammatory and racist.
  45. Thread: Boris resigns

    by Mordac
    Replies
    47
    Views
    1,141

    Bloody hell, if he keeps you awake at night you...

    Bloody hell, if he keeps you awake at night you must be off your usual meds...
  46. Thread: Boris resigns

    by Mordac
    Replies
    47
    Views
    1,141

    Don't knock it mate, if I slow things down, it's...

    Don't knock it mate, if I slow things down, it's only for your benefit.:wink
  47. Thread: Boris resigns

    by Mordac
    Replies
    47
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    1,141

    No, but most of the "rather horrible" ones...

    No, but most of the "rather horrible" ones probably are, in your mind, otherwise you wouldn't have used such terminology. Face it pal, if you think the only way you'll ever convince those who don't...
  48. Start with this thread, and use the search...

    Start with this thread, and use the search function next time.

    https://www.contractoruk.com/forums/ir35-reform/133350-ir35-retrospective-tax-claims.html
  49. Thread: Boris resigns

    by Mordac
    Replies
    47
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    1,141

    Triggered? Sorry... :wink

    Triggered? Sorry... :wink
  50. Thread: Boris resigns

    by Mordac
    Replies
    47
    Views
    1,141

    Why would that make me feel better? You have an...

    Why would that make me feel better? You have an annoying habit of invoking fascism whenever someone doesn't agree with your view. You won't get away with that at big school, y'know...
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