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Type: Posts; User: northernladyuk

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  1. Replies
    118
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    1,811

    She doesn't have teeth.

    She doesn't have teeth.
  2. Replies
    118
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    1,811

    It's not really full in your case.

    It's not really full in your case.
  3. Replies
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    145

    Alimentary, my dear Watson, alimentary.

    Alimentary, my dear Watson, alimentary.
  4. Replies
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    302

    Try slipping a fiver under the door next time...

    Try slipping a fiver under the door next time you're in the market for some sweet pooperlovin'.
  5. Replies
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    302

    Pooper now trades exclusively in the Thistle...

    Pooper now trades exclusively in the Thistle Hotel Heathrow.
  6. Scooter for rent - about to become legal soon

    Rental scooter is expected to become legal in UK airport hotels from Saturday, in a bid to ease pressure on cocooning sex workers amid the coronavirus crisis.

    The government will set out later the...
  7. Replies
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    538

    If you must stalk poor LM, at least try to show a...

    If you must stalk poor LM, at least try to show a bit of class.
  8. Replies
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    197

    Steady now. Last time the old man double fisted...

    Steady now. Last time the old man double fisted you, you asked for a free reacharound to compensate for the internal injuries.
  9. Replies
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    273

    By the way, your slot discount code is still...

    By the way, your slot discount code is still valid next time you're passing through Wallgate and want a proper seeing-to off the old man.
  10. Replies
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    273

    On no I'm not!

    On no I'm not!
  11. Replies
    3
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    158

    You love it!

    You love it!
  12. Replies
    3
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    158

    You need to lay off the fisting before you do...

    You need to lay off the fisting before you do your back passage a permanent injury.
  13. We hate you even more.

    We hate you even more.
  14. Replies
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    336

    Ooooh, get her! Sounds as if somebody's got the...

    Ooooh, get her! Sounds as if somebody's got the painters in.
  15. I was planning on doing a cut price version of...

    I was planning on doing a cut price version of this for the old man's client base, but I'm still waiting for the bugger to take a bath.
  16. The pre-nup expires soon and then he's going for...

    The pre-nup expires soon and then he's going for a little swim in the Manchester Ship Canal with his new concrete wetsuit.
  17. That's goose grease, not vaseline.

    That's goose grease, not vaseline.
  18. He was just leaning over to pick something up off...

    He was just leaning over to pick something up off the floor, while he was doing the hoovering naked, what with the hot weather and everything.

    Still, if it's cost me £50 in spare parts, it's saved...
  19. Replies
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    272

    You're reading minestrone's posts but you're...

    You're reading minestrone's posts but you're thinking about vetran.
  20. Replies
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    119,139

    Just you remember that.

    Just you remember that.
  21. Replies
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    616

    Do you have any Italian in you?

    Do you have any Italian in you?
  22. Replies
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    226

    And then the old man took you up the Oxo Tower.

    And then the old man took you up the Oxo Tower.
  23. Replies
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    90

    cock market crash

    Due to the unprecedented economic and public health emergency, the old man has cut his rate sheet by 50%. Usual spot - end cubicle Wigan Wallgate gents - bring your own sanitiser.
  24. I read it first time round as upskirting a...

    I read it first time round as upskirting a peasant.
  25. Dear Bitch - Impolite Request for Scat Videos sub forum...

    As more of us are working from home, please can we have a subforum where we can make scat videos & photos and leave comments?
  26. It was the right address. The client's fantasy...

    It was the right address. The client's fantasy was for it to seem like the wrong address.
  27. Replies
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    630

    If it's Covid safe sex you're after, the old man...

    If it's Covid safe sex you're after, the old man will wrap you in cling film for a tenner, and beat the crap out of you with a 2 metre steel pole.
  28. Replies
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    WGAS whether you like it or not.

    WGAS whether you like it or not.
  29. North Lancashire and East Cambridgeshire are my...

    North Lancashire and East Cambridgeshire are my main hiring spots for fingering and fisting roles. Lincolnshire at a push if demand outstrips supply.
  30. It's popular in the masochist community.

    It's popular in the masochist community.
  31. Replies
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    The point of this thread is for you to be your...

    The point of this thread is for you to be your normal dull charmless self.
  32. Via the Suckshop (motto: one swallow does not a...

    Via the Suckshop (motto: one swallow does not a bummer make)
  33. He had to deal with sums as big as 12p, even 15p,...

    He had to deal with sums as big as 12p, even 15p, with his under the counter special menu.
  34. Replies
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    FTFY

    FTFY
  35. That's not yoghurt.

    That's not yoghurt.
  36. It was cheaper to give him a job title of...

    It was cheaper to give him a job title of Cultural Exchange Ambassador than a rate increase, which I'd only have to pass on the merchant shipping community.
  37. Poll: The old man will eat any old fruit.

    The old man will eat any old fruit.
  38. Replies
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    The old man wanted his own working space. ...

    The old man wanted his own working space.

    https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article21951747.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_Lytham-St-Annes-house.jpg
  39. Poll: You're physically returning to work up AndyW's...

    You're physically returning to work up AndyW's Mum as soon as the lockdown is over.
  40. Replies
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    PM me with who you would like him to be and how...

    PM me with who you would like him to be and how many times and I'll send you a quote.
  41. Replies
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    Depends what turns you on.

    Depends what turns you on.
  42. Replies
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    FTFY

    FTFY
  43. Replies
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    I thought looking like a massive cock suited you.

    I thought looking like a massive cock suited you.
  44. Poll: But you can count your new eBumfist 3000.

    But you can count your new eBumfist 3000.
  45. The old man does a lot of business down the...

    The old man does a lot of business down the docks, but index linking his menu card prices to crude oil isn't looking so clever now.
  46. FTFY

    FTFY
  47. Replies
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    2,643

    The old man is happy with minimum wage to get...

    The old man is happy with minimum wage to get down on his hands and knees for some fruit approaching its use by date.
  48. Replies
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    That's the sequence of facial expressions we aim...

    That's the sequence of facial expressions we aim for.
  49. Replies
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    962

    I can iron your face for 20 quid plus travel...

    I can iron your face for 20 quid plus travel expenses.
  50. Replies
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    962

    I'll iron the old man's work costume.

    I'll iron the old man's work costume.
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