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  1. Yes, with only 500+ applicants for each role, I'm...

    Yes, with only 500+ applicants for each role, I'm sure they are feeling genuine pain at "limiting their catchment area".

    And no, all of those 500+ won't be "indecent" contractors. :)
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    If an old fella like you can find work, there's...

    If an old fella like you can find work, there's hope for the rest of us. :D
  3. Debian never changed. :)

    Debian never changed. :)
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    After all these years OCUK still doesn't have a...

    After all these years OCUK still doesn't have a black pot kettle icon.. :D
  5. "..what will happen." I find your lack of past...

    "..what will happen."

    I find your lack of past tense disturbing.
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    My best ever: £1200/day. Reason? "Because...

    My best ever: £1200/day.

    Reason?

    "Because we thought you worked for IBM and that's what they normally charge us."

    If only I could find fools like that these days. :laugh
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    Unless you are the Home Secretary.

    Unless you are the Home Secretary.
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    Or simply apply some common sense and play by the...

    Or simply apply some common sense and play by the rules: Deferral of VAT payments due to coronavirus (COVID-19) - GOV.UK

    I've been contracting long enough to have been through two tax inspections...
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    Have you actually been paid? If so, just send...

    Have you actually been paid?

    If so, just send HRMC a letter saying "I've got your money, but I think I'm going to keep it."

    (Filling in the CUK Daily Sarcasm Quota as NLUK seems to be having a...
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    Yep. Had my first agent email in quite a while...

    Yep. Had my first agent email in quite a while yesterday: "Hey, Nomadd, I've a great role with an IB at the moment with a great rate; here's an out-of-date job spec. that will give you an idea of...
  11. Permie talk.

    Permie talk.
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    True. We had half a dozen PMs at my last site who...

    True. We had half a dozen PMs at my last site who all did a pretty good job, tbh.

    They were all from India, via the same large consultancy; we were charged £180-200 per PM per day.

    So the...
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    ..and always have a PlanB. :)

    ..and always have a PlanB. :)
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    Step this way, sir. Over 350 pages of charm, wit...

    Step this way, sir. Over 350 pages of charm, wit and erudition await you (<insert large covid-cough>): https://www.contractoruk.com/forums/business-contracts/114560-state-market.html
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    Oh, I'm sure it will. It was just the initial...

    Oh, I'm sure it will. It was just the initial ignorance of any IR35 issues until they were pushed - at which point it was "in the USA with their lawyers".. :)

    EDIT: As regards the Agent:...
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    Ice Breakers? Mmmmm......

    Ice Breakers? Mmmmm... https://www.walmart.com/ip/Ice-Breakers-Duo-Fruit-Cool-Raspberry-Sugar-Free-Mints-1-3-oz/38253402
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    This^ Just come off the phone with a potential...

    This^

    Just come off the phone with a potential client whom I was informed was outside IR35. I raised the point again, just to make certain, and now they say the matter is "in the USA at head...
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    Well, according to life expectancy tables, I've...

    Well, according to life expectancy tables, I've at least another 30 years to go.. And regular 10-15k runs each week don't seem to have made me either an "old duffer" or "deed" yet. :laugh
    ...
  19. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by nomadd
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    Is that a metaphor?

    Is that a metaphor?
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    I. Am. Speechless. (Handy hint: I've put 30...

    I. Am. Speechless.

    (Handy hint: I've put 30 years of very tax-efficient contributions into my self-managed pension; I sleep very, very easy at nights now, even in these IR35-ridden days.)
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    Then don't work for a large corporate. Some of...

    Then don't work for a large corporate. Some of the best projects I've ever had have been with smaller clients.
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    After 30 years of contracting, I'm planning...

    After 30 years of contracting, I'm planning retirement.

    Still, will burn down the company cash slowly over the next 2-3 years whilst keeping it operating, so if a contract does come up, I'll take...
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    Of the 500+ who have probably applied for the...

    Of the 500+ who have probably applied for the role, I'd say all of them.
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    I'm sure they are smiling...behind those long...

    I'm sure they are smiling...behind those long grey beards.
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    Ah, thanks. I was just wondering when some...

    Ah, thanks. I was just wondering when some numpty would pipe up something like that, and hey presto there we go!
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    It's called "permie mindset". Real contractors...

    It's called "permie mindset".

    Real contractors tally paid invoices. :grin
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    Surely that half day you spent in the pub...

    Surely that half day you spent in the pub included at least one minute of "work talk"? Round up and bill a full one, I say. :happy
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    :D

    :D
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    Zero. Not. Sure. If. Retired. Will. See....

    Zero.

    Not. Sure. If. Retired.

    Will. See. Post. April.
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    Who cares. Real contractors work from home. In...

    Who cares.

    Real contractors work from home. In Monaco.
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    This^ In 30 years of contracting, I've worked...

    This^

    In 30 years of contracting, I've worked for PWC twice. The third time I had to turn them down, as they had started to phrase their contracts to make it perfectly clear that you were inside...
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    That "old chestnut" - and a thousand like it -...

    That "old chestnut" - and a thousand like it - are about to have severe implications. Really. :ohwell
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    100% of my contracts have been found in the first...

    100% of my contracts have been found in the first 12 months of the year.
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    What is a "Line Manager"? And why do you have one?

    What is a "Line Manager"? And why do you have one?
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    He stopped breathing. Try it.

    He stopped breathing.

    Try it.
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    This^ Work to live (and all that.) :smile

    This^

    Work to live (and all that.) :smile
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    No, I supply my own tools. Including office...

    No, I supply my own tools. Including office furniture. :grin
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    I arrive in the morning and there isn't an Indian...

    I arrive in the morning and there isn't an Indian sat at my desk.
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    As regards IT contracting, I'd say we've been in...

    As regards IT contracting, I'd say we've been in a recession quite some time already..
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    Speak to your accountant. With retained...

    Speak to your accountant.

    With retained capital in the company account, it may be cheaper to take dividends-only from the company for a couple of years of £45k, rather than go the MVL route (10%...
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    Sounds like you are still bitter over that...

    Sounds like you are still bitter over that contract you did in Saudi all those years ago..

    ..Hope you managed to sell the bucket to a local before you were deported.
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    Thanks for the advice, folks. Feeling fine for...

    Thanks for the advice, folks.

    Feeling fine for now, so will plod along until I'm next "lying on the bench" and have the surgery done then.

    It would seem this healthy lifestyle I'm leading is...
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    Surgery costs via LTD?

    Don't have private health insurance (yes, silly me!)

    Have recently found out that I need a minor operation, normally performed as "day surgery", where you go home the same day as long as no...
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    "I'm a highly seasoned developer, having spent...

    "I'm a highly seasoned developer, having spent the last 15 years working on tree optimisations in safety critical environments. Much of my work has been in the 'cloud' arena."

    Interview will go so...
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    No wonder you are always so depressed. :D

    No wonder you are always so depressed. :D
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    I've been contracting since the late 80's... ...

    I've been contracting since the late 80's...

    ..The music was much better back then.

    :happy
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    Not even partly. :)

    Not even partly. :)
  48. "My knees."

    "My knees."
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    Did they force you to have the same silly haircut...

    Did they force you to have the same silly haircut as your leader?

    ..Oh, and keep an eye out for U.S. Battleships.

    :D
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    ..and this. ..and this. ..and this. No...

    ..and this. ..and this. ..and this.

    No Direction and Control here, your Honour. None whatsoever.

    I swept those floors because..? They were dirty!


    :D
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