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  1. Replies
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    Feel free to stay where you are...

    Feel free to stay where you are...
  2. I'd have said dump the geezer, but it's lasted a...

    I'd have said dump the geezer, but it's lasted a year, so he must have some talents...

    :igmc:
  3. Thread: Raab gone

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    714

    That may change, and it rather depends on how...

    That may change, and it rather depends on how much of the £39bn they want to see. Let's hope they haven't spent it already...
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    He's leaving one swamp for another. The music...

    He's leaving one swamp for another. The music might be better, but he'd need to be very selective...
  5. This isn't autobiographical, is it?

    This isn't autobiographical, is it?
  6. Thread: Raab gone

    by Mordac
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    42
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    714

    Don't you mean "down the river"?

    Don't you mean "down the river"?
  7. Replies
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    If you're a bailiff or an undertaker...

    If you're a bailiff or an undertaker...
  8. Replies
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    Here's a thought. Stop posting crap from the...

    Here's a thought. Stop posting crap from the Graun, and we'll agree to forget that we disagree. :hug:
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    A question science may never be able to explain...

    A question science may never be able to explain...
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    Nothing to do with his being political plankton...

    Nothing to do with his being political plankton then...
  11. Thread: The Alliance

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    259

    What makes you think I'm a Boris fan? (Clue, I'm...

    What makes you think I'm a Boris fan? (Clue, I'm really not...)
  12. I'm not sure your plan would work. I see myself...

    I'm not sure your plan would work. I see myself as more of a battery penguin. The exams are easier. Not to mention the orifice fits the battery more easily. Plus the evening wear is that bit more...
  13. Thread: The Alliance

    by Mordac
    Replies
    10
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    259

    And if we'd had a PM with something resembling a...

    And if we'd had a PM with something resembling a backbone that might have happened...
  14. Thread: Out of options

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    351

    It doesn't hurt nearly as much when you say...

    It doesn't hurt nearly as much when you say it...:wink
  15. Thread: The Alliance

    by Mordac
    Replies
    10
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    259

    You probably need to stop reading the Graun, they...

    You probably need to stop reading the Graun, they like to play a little game called "clutching at a straw"...
  16. No need for vets, when the food shortages kick in...

    No need for vets, when the food shortages kick in we'll be eating all the sick animals. And some of the healthy ones, if they're tasty enough. Yum...
  17. Replies
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    Telegraph Tribute...

    Telegraph Tribute
  18. Replies
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    Indeed, she survived the Nelson. Nelson (cricket)...

    Indeed, she survived the Nelson. Nelson (cricket) - Wikipedia

    :igmc:
  19. Replies
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    When the time comes, you'll find me kipping on...

    When the time comes, you'll find me kipping on one of AtW's sofas, Flat 3, above Squirrel Kebabs, Birmingham.
    I'll put up a hell of a fight, so bring the riot gear and plenty of armed backup.
  20. Replies
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    You're the expert at insulting anyone and...

    You're the expert at insulting anyone and everyone who vaguely disagrees with you, so you tell me...
  21. Replies
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    316

    Trust me, it wasn't meant to be. :smokin

    Trust me, it wasn't meant to be. :smokin
  22. Thread: Out of options

    by Mordac
    Replies
    12
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    351

    Well you do ask for it...:winker:

    Well you do ask for it...:winker:
  23. Thread: Brexit to blame

    by Mordac
    Replies
    8
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    266

    I can't think what you may mean... :laugh

    I can't think what you may mean...

    :laugh
  24. Thread: Brexit to blame

    by Mordac
    Replies
    8
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    266

    Bad reviews on Tripadvisor*, you mean? *You...

    Bad reviews on Tripadvisor*, you mean?

    *You know who you are, and you know what to do...:wink :wink
  25. Replies
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    "Chief People Officer"? That doesn't sound...

    "Chief People Officer"? That doesn't sound remotely sinister...:eyes
  26. Thread: Brexit to blame

    by Mordac
    Replies
    8
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    266

    BS. Patisserie Valerie was down to fraud, Jamie...

    BS. Patisserie Valerie was down to fraud, Jamie Oliver's was down to his BiLs incompetence, Debenhams hasn't gone yet. You can't just make stuff up, and blame something that hasn't happened yet....
  27. Thread: Boris for PM

    by Mordac
    Replies
    12
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    642

    You mean Boris? That was Darmy, that was...

    You mean Boris? That was Darmy, that was...
  28. Thread: Out of options

    by Mordac
    Replies
    12
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    351

    We could always try and export you. I'd pay the...

    We could always try and export you. I'd pay the import tariff at the other end myself. There must be loads of potential takers. Not...
  29. Replies
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    You might have stood a chance when Oliver...

    You might have stood a chance when Oliver Cromwell died in 1658, but the job went to his son, so the first chance we had to have some sort of democratic head of state, we ended up with a hereditary...
  30. Replies
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    Yes. Those who joined the Conservative Party and...

    Yes. Those who joined the Conservative Party and paid the membership fee. It's the same for the Labour Party (and probably all the others, but they're not likely to elect a PM anytime soon). You know...
  31. Quit contracting. Now.

    Quit contracting. Now.
  32. Replies
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    I think the problem with Corbyn is he's a...

    I think the problem with Corbyn is he's a complete Marxist, and Abbott criticised those who sent their kids to private schools, and sent her own son to one. The idea they might have done a bit of...
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    :laugh

    :laugh
  34. Replies
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    And if you can't do him for that, surely his...

    And if you can't do him for that, surely his particular porky was somewhat bigger than Boris's...and if there's a euphemism in there somewhere, I can't think where it might be...
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    Has it ever occurred to you that it might just be...

    Has it ever occurred to you that it might just be you that's the problem? Thought not...
  36. Replies
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    If that sticker on the door says "Fire Door Keep...

    If that sticker on the door says "Fire Door Keep Shut" someone's been really irresponsible, and probably not for the first time...
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    Nice try, but the only reason I know she doesn't...

    Nice try, but the only reason I know she doesn't use such things is that she'd need to ask me how to set it up. And she hasn't...:wink
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    :confused: Is that a dating app reference, or one...

    :confused: Is that a dating app reference, or one of your disgusting euphemisms...? :eek
  39. Replies
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    It's a little unfair of him to emphasise her...

    It's a little unfair of him to emphasise her being fat, while completely ignoring her strongest feature which is being at least an eleven-and-a-half on the Munter Scale...
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    How long before it's on Airbnb for less...?

    How long before it's on Airbnb for less...?
  41. Replies
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    If you think I'm changing his nappy you've got...

    If you think I'm changing his nappy you've got another thing coming...:frown
  42. Replies
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    You will make sure you're gone by then, I...

    You will make sure you're gone by then, I presume. If you get stuck, let us know and we'll have a whip-round for your bus fare. I apologise in advance for donating three buttons...

    :wave:
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    'Reds under the bed' was so very fifties though,...

    'Reds under the bed' was so very fifties though, so well done for managing to recycle it as a half-baked conspiracy theory. You're far more in need of some time in that padded cell than I, it would...
  44. Replies
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    FTFY :smokin

    FTFY :smokin
  45. Replies
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    Ditto. RIP.

    Ditto. RIP.
  46. Replies
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    You can join in, if you ask nicely...:smokin

    You can join in, if you ask nicely...:smokin
  47. Replies
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    33,063

    Benefits? That's a new word for it...:mad:

    Benefits? That's a new word for it...:mad:
  48. Replies
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    Even if the full spec was $6k it would need to...

    Even if the full spec was $6k it would need to come with a free Ferrari to get me even slightly interested. The only good news is they're killing iTunes, which has previously cost me some of my hair...
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    Scored one of the best goals I've ever seen....

    Scored one of the best goals I've ever seen. Against Chel$ki in the FA Cup, 2004. RIP.
  50. Thread: Weekend Thread

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    1,044

    :laugh There's no such thing as an 'impartial...

    :laugh There's no such thing as an 'impartial United fan', and as a Gooner I'm supporting Liverpool.

    PS, no need to trim the wife's bush, I checked yesterday and it's fine...:wink
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