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  1. Replies
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    Sticky: The only other thing that may save us is King...

    The only other thing that may save us is King Arthur. If Germy Carbuncle is the next PM, somebody up North please go to Alderley Edge and give him a shout.
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    Sticky: Looked into the Joanna Southcott thing a few...

    Looked into the Joanna Southcott thing a few years ago. Can't remember the details now, didn't they open the box and find a packet of wine gums or something?

    PS Just had a look at Wikipedia, was...
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    Sticky: Not Christ we need at the moment, we need Noah to...

    Not Christ we need at the moment, we need Noah to help out with all the floods.

    PS Oh, he's here:
    Look inside stunning Noah's Ark museum on Ipswich waterfront opened to encourage discussion amid...
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    Sticky: Nah, cats, I've seen em. Or maybe it's the bloke...

    Nah, cats, I've seen em. Or maybe it's the bloke next door.
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    Sticky: Leave it on my lawn you mean.

    Leave it on my lawn you mean.
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    Sticky: Recorded that ages ago, still not got round to...

    Recorded that ages ago, still not got round to watching it. Watch so little TV these days. Why don't they get rid of licence fees and have PAYG TV? It would be much cheaper for me.
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    Sticky: I've had to become completely teetotal recently....

    I've had to become completely teetotal recently. After even a single shot of vodka I was waking up feeling anxious. One night I thought I was having a total breakdown. Life without vodka! Bleedin eck!
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    So much easier to get a bonk too, without all the...

    So much easier to get a bonk too, without all the expensive wooing.
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    Indeed. I call it the Mobile syndrome, after the...

    Indeed. I call it the Mobile syndrome, after the rugby song In Mobile, verse 2. If deprived of their preferred sexual outlets lots of males will look for something else. Probably why all those paedos...
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    CUK has rules?? Dunno why people are bothered...

    CUK has rules??

    Dunno why people are bothered about other people's sexuality. I like fat lady pigs meself. Do whatever you want as long as others don't pick up the bill, is my philosophy.
  11. Thread: Glasgow

    by xoggoth
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    Went there once decades ago. Can't remember much...

    Went there once decades ago. Can't remember much about it except for a creepy place we took the kids too and the fact that there seemed to be a lot of tall people.
  12. Yeh. Diane Abbot's bottom would be the closest...

    Yeh. Diane Abbot's bottom would be the closest I'd get.
  13. One of the few sexual fetishes I don't have.

    One of the few sexual fetishes I don't have.
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    Was listening to some figures on radio earlier....

    Was listening to some figures on radio earlier. The Tory spending pledges do not come anywhere near those of Labour.
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    Not sure about the educating girls one but...

    Not sure about the educating girls one but generally sensible, esp reducing population and shifting economic goals away from GDP growth. Many of us already have more than we need.

    We should avoid...
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    Sticky: Looking for a replacement microwave. Seems...

    Looking for a replacement microwave. Seems there's a brand called Smeg. Supposed to be another Red Dwarf series in the making.
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    Sticky: Always check my bank/credit card statements at...

    Always check my bank/credit card statements at end of month and found an unexplained payment to Amazon Prime. Dunno how, never signed up to it, always click the no button. Seems a lot of people get...
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    Quite. And if god is both good and almighty where...

    Quite. And if god is both good and almighty where did evil come from?
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    Or, more importantly, think that society's laws...

    Or, more importantly, think that society's laws and practices should be determined by religious doctrines. When a law is based on ancient scripture, it is pretty hard to overturn it.

    Religion can...
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    Maybe. These creators could have become so...

    Maybe. These creators could have become so sophisticated that our own universe is now a very outdated creation. Our gods could be their kids playing with Lego models.
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    Sticky: Reading above I am disgusted that nobody seems to...

    Reading above I am disgusted that nobody seems to consider the feelings of poor little socks facing life alone.
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    The enormous numbers of different beliefs is the...

    The enormous numbers of different beliefs is the best argument against religion. As they can't all be true what is the likelihood that any one of them is?

    And surely, if there was an almighty god...
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    Sticky: Wondering whether to go to the local a bit later,...

    Wondering whether to go to the local a bit later, it's a halloween night with prize for best costume. Not done a costume but probably stand a fair chance of winning if I go as I am.

    Was browsing...
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    Sticky: I don't often get any. One advantage of being a...

    I don't often get any. One advantage of being a creepy old bloke who looks like Jimmy Saville I assume.
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    Sticky: Not sure if get any trick or treaters tonight but...

    Not sure if get any trick or treaters tonight but bought some chocolates just in case. Ones I like so I can eat em if no kids turn up.

    Why just kids? Why can't us old farts go round knocking on...
  26. Thread: I Win.....

    by xoggoth
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    Haven't we all done that? See how long we can...

    Haven't we all done that? See how long we can hold our breath underwater I mean, not die.
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    Most of the china & earthenware things you can...

    Most of the china & earthenware things you can buy at places, garden centres, NT etc have a hole about there. Trust me to notice.
  28. Thread: Speling Polise

    by xoggoth
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    12
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    Ehdojklk fedocrak spegumboo kamzaskula hagodib

    Ehdojklk fedocrak spegumboo kamzaskula hagodib
  29. Replies
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    Sticky: I turned up at a friend's house an hour early...

    I turned up at a friend's house an hour early this morning because I'd forgotten all about it.
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    Sticky: Just back from 2+ hours volunteering in village...

    Just back from 2+ hours volunteering in village clearing an overgrown footway by main road. Knackered but on plus side I found a £10 note.
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    Indeed, often only thing worth visiting CUK for,...

    Indeed, often only thing worth visiting CUK for, I'm just too lazy to keep clicking likes.
  32. Replies
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    Sticky: Unfortunately the loft is not navigable, no...

    Unfortunately the loft is not navigable, no flooring and deep in insulation stuff.

    .

    The huge nest we had in the last house was making the rafters all damp.

    When nests begin they are little...
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    Sticky: Found a little waspy in my loft earler. Hope it's...

    Found a little waspy in my loft earler. Hope it's not going to make a nest, that would be a real moral dilemma for me. As I know from my last property, wasp nests are damaging, but not sure I could...
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    Sticky: You need to go to Iceland to see that. The...

    You need to go to Iceland to see that.

    The Icelandic Phallological Museum
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    Sticky: This museum sounds inneresting. When is the big...

    This museum sounds inneresting. When is the big bum museum opening?

    Vagina museum gets alcohol licence despite hen and stag party fears | UK news | The Guardian
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    Sticky: Sorry to hear it BP. Tried those things about 6...

    Sorry to hear it BP. Tried those things about 6 months ago, effects so awful (and embarassing) I gave up.



    That sounds like me, except I'm in Sussex, not Manchester.
  37. Replies
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    Sticky: Ah! The API provides values in km! Doh! Thought...

    Ah! The API provides values in km! Doh! Thought Microsoft was an American company.
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    Note her, not it. Glad I'm not the only one that...

    Note her, not it. Glad I'm not the only one that sees my vehicle as not just a thing. I'd be really upset If I had to get rid of my little van. He's my mate, he is.
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    Sticky: Darn it. Calculated distances can be up to twice...

    Darn it. Calculated distances can be up to twice values you get when directly using Bing maps. Dunno why, coordinates are all correct in the xml. More to do, but at least distance from home is now 0.
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    Sticky: Messing about with footpath stuff again. My mappy...

    Messing about with footpath stuff again. My mappy thing now has lots of features including centring on an entered OS grid ref. Also places in my Excel list of places of interest automatically shows...
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    Sticky: Dentist this morning, what fun! Anaesthetic...

    Dentist this morning, what fun! Anaesthetic usually wears off in about 1/2 hour, took about 3 this time.
  42. Thread: Story thread

    by xoggoth
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    Under the Bed

    It had been a nice Saturday out with his lady friend Wendy, visiting an interesting old castle. He dropped her off outside her flat and they said goodbye with their usual little hug before he drove...
  43. Thread: Story thread

    by xoggoth
    Replies
    102
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    47,598

    Return of the carp

    The lady who ran my little story writer's club had to give up due to ill health and there were huge cock ups in getting it going again. Think we're back now, latest bullwarks below.

    PS Some of...
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    Sticky: Me too. Bit of a Viz fan although some things,...

    Me too. Bit of a Viz fan although some things, like Drunken Bakers and Roger's Profanisaurus are boring crap.
  45. Replies
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    Sticky: Same here. Was at Filton British Aerospace.

    Same here. Was at Filton British Aerospace.
  46. Yeh. Quick flip through "Nuclear Plants for...

    Yeh. Quick flip through "Nuclear Plants for Dummies" in bed. Easy.
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    Paid my mortage off decades ago but was too much...

    Paid my mortage off decades ago but was too much of a cheapskate to even do 3* when I was still contracting.
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    Probably after death. Given the cost of funerals...

    Probably after death. Given the cost of funerals these days you will have to take out a mortgage to pay for your coffin.
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    Not always isolated misfits etc that have these...

    Not always isolated misfits etc that have these problems. Lady I know was in hospital with severe depression a few years back and she was one of the most outgoing sociable people I've ever met.
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    Same here, though probably more rather than very....

    Same here, though probably more rather than very. Feel fine today, Dunno why it varies, can't see any correlation to anything. Having some good days stops you giving up hope.
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