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  1. Who says there is? I bet there isn't ! :tantrum:

    Who says there is? I bet there isn't ! :tantrum:
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    And how come Elvis Presley hasn't run out of...

    And how come Elvis Presley hasn't run out of oxygen by now?
  3. Thread: Spreadsheets

    by OwlHoot
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    2,835

    I thought the whole UK banking system ran on IBM...

    I thought the whole UK banking system ran on IBM 360s, fed COBOL programs on punched cards. :confused:
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    Just had the new Russkie virus

    I've just been administered the vaccine created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning and I wanted to reassure yuo all that it’s completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I...
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    Not so - The furlough scheme ended in June. So if...

    Not so - The furlough scheme ended in June. So if your inside-IR35 contract ended after that and you've been sitting on your arse ever since then you're plumb out of luck!
  6. All true, certainly the final para. I've heard...

    All true, certainly the final para. I've heard that Amazon will remotely delete an ebook off your Kindle at the drop of a hat if there's even a hint of a complaint about it (potential copyright...
  7. Best sites for downloading bootleg or old films and ebooks

    I usually prefer buying bluray films these days, as the quality and lack of malware is guaranteed.

    But a friend (no really) was asking if there are still Torrent sites, as there were say ten years...
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    A nincompoop needn't necessarily be stupid. It...

    A nincompoop needn't necessarily be stupid. It really means an ineffectual person.
  9. Thread: $750

    by OwlHoot
    Replies
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    748

    Pretty sure it is, and for civil suits...

    Pretty sure it is, and for civil suits specifically.

    While in office, he can only be impeached for political and/or criminal offences.
  10. Thread: $750

    by OwlHoot
    Replies
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    748

    While he is President he has sovereign immunity...

    While he is President he has sovereign immunity from suit (I think), certainly for actions taken while in office
  11. Hehe! well I did contemplate "The Great Escaping"...

    Hehe! well I did contemplate "The Great Escaping" it, by packing small bags tied to my legs and pulling a string to release it in some public space and shuffling it into the ground while casually...
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    Until another moulds pop up and starts rotting...

    Until another moulds pop up and starts rotting potatoes, as one did in Ireland in the 19th century :eyes
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    If you want to pack them away in the database...

    If you want to pack them away in the database pronto, but aren't too bothered about retrieval speed, then Cassandra would be a good choice.

    Edit: It's free (open source) and by now fairly mature
  14. The worst offenders, per head, yes of course, I...

    The worst offenders, per head, yes of course, I do accept that.

    But I imagine their consumption is dwarfed by the collective consumption of the hordes of poor people in places such as India and...
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    If it's homeopathic bat soup, I thought of it...

    If it's homeopathic bat soup, I thought of it first! :tantrum:

    (It might work wonders against corona virus :smokin )
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    I think HairyArsedBloke had some health issues. ...

    I think HairyArsedBloke had some health issues.

    But also, didn't he devise an app for filtering and displaying stock market results on a mobile phone, and the rights to this were bought by a...
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    Wimbledon

    Wimbledon
  18. Replies
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    Been contracting since I joined CUK in c 2002....

    Been contracting since I joined CUK in c 2002. Longest bench time 4 months back around then, and no more than a month since until this year.

    But after picking bench splinters out of my buttocks...
  19. If you stopped the relatively small proportion of...

    If you stopped the relatively small proportion of rich people procreating, a new lot of relatively small proportion of rich people would pop up in their place, and the poor would carry on breeding...
  20. My local tip (run by a company called Viridor)...

    My local tip (run by a company called Viridor) charges by weight for hardcore, and it soon mounts up, e.g. somewhere around £100 for one builder's bag.

    So I have split my 12 bags of harcore into...
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    Old Harrovian But I believe Harrow School does...

    Old Harrovian

    But I believe Harrow School does take girls these days, so we can't jump to any hasty conclusions! :rolleyes:
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    That guy is crazy. A python has a reflex to...

    That guy is crazy. A python has a reflex to tighten its grip if it senses a heartbeat, such as in neck arteries, and can't stop even if it wanted to.

    And if/when the python round his neck started...
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    AtW suddenly stopped posting several days ago,...

    AtW suddenly stopped posting several days ago, come to think of it, about the time this guy was probably kidnapped! :eek:
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    Nooo! He mustn't risk it! :eek: ...

    Nooo! He mustn't risk it! :eek:

    http://home.bt.com/images/the-two-window-cleaners-stranded-1000ft-up-136403311396103901-160112125733.jpg

    I nearly bought an open-plan flat the size of a tennis...
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    Those objectives being to maintain the UK as a...

    Those objectives being to maintain the UK as a client state, subject to all EU laws and with no say in them.

    No thanks! :mad
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    FFS are you really quibbling over £5 ?! No...

    FFS are you really quibbling over £5 ?!

    No wonder the country is in such a mess when so many people are such penny-pinching misers!
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    :spel FOOG

    :spel FOOG
  28. It's also a crazy crime if you have any assets...

    It's also a crazy crime if you have any assets you care about, such as a house, because if you hit someone while driving and put them in a wheel chair for life for example, they could sue the pants...
  29. Thread: V3 anyone?

    by OwlHoot
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    The Israelis had previously asked him nicely to...

    The Israelis had previously asked him nicely to back off from helping Saddam, but the guy was too, er, Bull headed to stop. .. :eyes
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    I know - I was joking! :laugh

    I know - I was joking! :laugh
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    Highlights? They should show the whole thing....

    Highlights? They should show the whole thing. There's nothing as exciting as a police chase! :D
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    Rag and bone man's cart? Milk float? They'd...

    Rag and bone man's cart?

    Milk float? They'd better hurry though, because I recently read there are now only a couple of thousand Dairy Crest milk delivery people left in the UK.
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    The words "loser" and "sucker" needn't disparage...

    The words "loser" and "sucker" needn't disparage someone's ability. It can be applied to some poor sod who is in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    So obviously he wasn't criticising the vets, but...
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    This trump supporter can at least post a correct...

    This trump supporter can at least post a correct link!

    2020-09-06 Lake Travis: Several boats sink at pro-Trump parade in Texas
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    2020-09-04 After 3,160 days... HS2 digging...

    2020-09-04 After 3,160 days... HS2 digging finally starts: Boris Johnson hails controversial rail link as engine for jobs growth as construction starts at last

    :eyes
  36. The CV suggestions are helpful, but I (among, I...

    The CV suggestions are helpful, but I (among, I dare say, others) am more interested in hearing impressions about the current IT contract market.

    I suspect Two Wolves's impressions are all too...
  37. Yes, he thinks that in the unlikely event of...

    Yes, he thinks that in the unlikely event of Brexit ever becoming a possibility, Remaining would be best.
  38. How are people on the bench finding the market?

    Been on the bench for over a month now, for the first time in over 20 years.

    I have enough to get by for now, but am applying on and off for around three or four contracts a week.

    I only apply...
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    FOOG! (May as well get that in early :D )

    FOOG!

    (May as well get that in early :D )
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    True of course, but then neither yet is all the...

    True of course, but then neither yet is all the extra tax revenue being discussed.
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    Yep, and cancel the insanely outdated HS2...

    Yep, and cancel the insanely outdated HS2 project. That will add £100 billion to the pot immediately (actually, probably double or more of that by the time the massive white elephant is complete).
    ...
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    Old Greg is subtly sabotaging this thread because...

    Old Greg is subtly sabotaging this thread because he has a wobbly tooth, and he's long overdue for a checkup, but is terrified of dentists! :laugh
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    India's looks the most efficient - Can't we copy...

    India's looks the most efficient - Can't we copy the Indian Health Service? :rolleyes:
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    For comparison, here is the Apollo launch and...

    For comparison, here is the Apollo launch and lunar insertion checklist

    It is a bit longer, but not much! :laugh
  45. Thread: Morning all

    by OwlHoot
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    Morning Grice, er, all! :wave:

    Morning Grice, er, all! :wave:
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    What a wonderful idea - You'd see more sudden...

    What a wonderful idea - You'd see more sudden miracle cures than Jesus made by the Lake of Galilee, as all the hypochondriacs hobbling into outpatients with a slightly strained knee, and hordes of...
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    Do you mean as convinced as Cameron was as smugly...

    Do you mean as convinced as Cameron was as smugly convinced he would walk the Brexit referendum and never have to worry about Brexit again?

    Ot just fairly convinced? :rolleyes:
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    That was crabs, but I did manage to bag loads of...

    That was crabs, but I did manage to bag loads of large mackerels and a record-breaking tuna which I sold for £100,000!
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    I did a quick Google, and it seems there are two...

    I did a quick Google, and it seems there are two or three basic fishing rod designs, and with one (for game fishing?) holding it upside down makes it easier to use slight thumb pressure to regulate...
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    The smug metropolitan elite are just as stupid...

    The smug metropolitan elite are just as stupid but in different ways, not the least of which is being so arrogantly convinced of their rectitude and virtue they forget they are in a small minority,...
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