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  1. Would that figure include penalties/interest?

    Would that figure include penalties/interest?
  2. Replies
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    No, there are thousands of NHS senior managers &...

    No, there are thousands of NHS senior managers & chief executives various, all of which have a clearly defined job description such that none of them are actually responsible or accountable for...
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    Which happens to be next door to an excellent...

    Which happens to be next door to an excellent seafood restaurant with octopus on the lunch menu daily...:tongue
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    They were the dogs bollocks, they were... ...

    They were the dogs bollocks, they were...

    :igmc:
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    The bitter little racist who likes calling...

    The bitter little racist who likes calling everyone else a racist ought to be on your ignore list (he's on mine), but he's occasional comedy gold :laugh
  6. Thread: Give me five

    by Mordac
    Replies
    13
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    340

    Because their senses are working overtime... ...

    Because their senses are working overtime...

    :igmc: :oldgit:
  7. Thread: Fo AtW Boom!

    by Mordac
    Replies
    3
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    129

    How do we know it isn't... :tongue

    How do we know it isn't...



    :tongue
  8. Thread: Fo AtW Boom!

    by Mordac
    Replies
    3
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    129

    On reading the headline, I was wondering how a...

    On reading the headline, I was wondering how a team of drug traffickers had trained flying squirrels to deliver weed. :cool2:
    The story itself is somewhat disappointing...
    :igmc:
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    But none of them are interested in NLyUKs...

    But none of them are interested in NLyUKs used-undercrackers 'business'...
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    134

    That was always so going to happen...:rollin:

    That was always so going to happen...:rollin:
  11. Replies
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    264

    Silly sod forgot to put his mobile number on the...

    Silly sod forgot to put his mobile number on the card. :facepalm:
  12. Replies
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    287

    £80 and you don't get a certificate? :tantrum:

    £80 and you don't get a certificate? :tantrum:
  13. Replies
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    730

    It would never have happened in Mother Russia....

    It would never have happened in Mother Russia. They all die quietly in their Dachas (with a little help from the KGB)...

    :suicide:
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    He doesn't pay for his accommodation, or utility...

    He doesn't pay for his accommodation, or utility bills. He'd probably be able to get by if he hadn't had so many extra-curricular children...
  15. Thread: My Lunch

    by Mordac
    Replies
    13
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    343

    You can have both...:happy ...

    You can have both...:happy

    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQbsCi81UP6sick0_VHZDkH9S4xuXu2KKBK5g&usqp=CAU
  16. Thread: PM: FAO Atw

    by Mordac
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    4
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    168

    It's missing something...crosshairs..?

    It's missing something...crosshairs..?
  17. Replies
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    My local shop seems to have plenty. If SW London...

    My local shop seems to have plenty. If SW London is too far from you, they deliver free.
    Moores Cycles

    Just in time for another cold, wet, miserable winter...:ohwell
  18. Replies
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    Reverse cowgirl it is then...:tongue

    Reverse cowgirl it is then...:tongue
  19. Replies
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    1,338

    Save it. Work trips/client visits aren't...

    Save it.
    Work trips/client visits aren't affected, but if you want to see your friends*, they'll have to come to you.

    *Temptation resisted :D
  20. Replies
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    :tumble:

    :tumble:
  21. Replies
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    I tried changing the order of the words, and...

    I tried changing the order of the words, and still nothing...:confused:
  22. Replies
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    Oh that hurts. :cry1:

    Oh that hurts. :cry1:
  23. Replies
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    It clearly doesn't affect you (you ought to know...

    It clearly doesn't affect you (you ought to know if you live in a London Borough or Elmbridge) so why the need to play the idiot?
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    Your 'request' was somewhat 'unusual'...:eek

    Your 'request' was somewhat 'unusual'...:eek
  25. Replies
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    Pubs are (generally) not the problem. Distancing,...

    Pubs are (generally) not the problem. Distancing, contact details, table service only etc are quite strictly enforced, from what I've seen.
    The problem is outside pubs, such as large house parties...
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    Apart from discouraging enterprise in the...

    Apart from discouraging enterprise in the Netherlands, the tax lawyers at Unilever should be able to find a way round it. They would probably need to retain a shell company in Rotterdam, making sure...
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    What he needs is a world-beating internet search...

    What he needs is a world-beating internet search engine...

    :bang:
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    I think it'll be many years before there is any...

    I think it'll be many years before there is any sort of queue at Heathrow (and you can make that 'never' if they fix those sodding machine-reader things).
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    You make it sound like my idea. So just to be...

    You make it sound like my idea. So just to be clear, it is a border, but it isn't?
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    So we'll be seeing 'Bienvenue en France*' signs...

    So we'll be seeing 'Bienvenue en France*' signs just past Maidstone, will we? There's a difference between an international border and a customs clearance facility, presumably designed for lorries,...
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    Inland, as in 'just like at Heathrow Airport'?

    Inland, as in 'just like at Heathrow Airport'?
  32. Replies
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    Undertakers, you mean? It's not as if they have...

    Undertakers, you mean? It's not as if they have little else to do at the moment. Will they have this system at pedestrian crossings? Something else to keep the old folks locked up indoors for fear of...
  33. Thread: Long Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    978

    That's quite an assumption. And, as with all...

    That's quite an assumption. And, as with all blinkered assumptions, yours is wrong...:wink
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    Well, that was a waste of a non-disclosure...

    Well, that was a waste of a non-disclosure agreement...:wink
  35. Replies
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    One of those tales is actually true...:wink

    One of those tales is actually true...:wink
  36. Agreed, I've met him (James Earl Jones) and he...

    Agreed, I've met him (James Earl Jones) and he was very charming. :nerd2:
  37. Replies
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    I worked with him once. He had anger issues (I...

    I worked with him once. He had anger issues (I managed to tease them out of him :wink) but I wouldn't want him to find himself in trouble with a higher power. :bluelight
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    Just so you know, that won't help. :wink

    Just so you know, that won't help. :wink
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    I got this little lot, Sports and leisure...

    I got this little lot,

    Sports and leisure :rollin:
    Hospitality and food :eek
    Beauty and wellbeing :rollin:
    Animal care :eyes
    Computing, technical and digital :facepalm:
  40. Was in danger. Corbyn lost though. Phew...

    Was in danger. Corbyn lost though. Phew...
  41. Thread: Long Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    978

    Leave the country...oh, hang on...:igmc:

    Leave the country...oh, hang on...:igmc:
  42. Replies
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    "Technically" not her fault, as all of of us real...

    "Technically" not her fault, as all of of us real techies know all too well (if someone is to blame, it will be someone so far removed from the actual coalface that she will have never even heard of...
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    I'm guessing Ebola would be one...

    I'm guessing Ebola would be one...
  44. I think Owly was looking for porn, rather than...

    I think Owly was looking for porn, rather than Proust...:freaky:
  45. Thread: EU Office

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    753

    How many generations are you going back...?

    How many generations are you going back...?
  46. Replies
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    I hope Matt is monetising his idea, e.g. if you...

    I hope Matt is monetising his idea, e.g. if you enter a Northern postcode you will be directed to a local funeral directors with a view to taking out a plan. If not, he's missed a trick, and probably...
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    There are probably easier ways to be £9bn in...

    There are probably easier ways to be £9bn in debt, but don't let that put you off...
  48. Thread: Spreadsheets

    by Mordac
    Replies
    115
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    2,836

    Do you have terrible halitosis?

    Do you have terrible halitosis?
  49. Replies
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    1,319

    You do know it's a pork product, I take it?...

    You do know it's a pork product, I take it? :winker:
  50. Thread: Spreadsheets

    by Mordac
    Replies
    115
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    2,836

    Death is way too good for them...:bang:

    Death is way too good for them...:bang:
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