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  1. Replies
    28
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    1,892

    I'm going against the grain here, but when I sign...

    I'm going against the grain here, but when I sign to deliver services for 3, 6 or 12 months I honour the contract. Always have.
    You're running a business and honour your commitments to your...
  2. You want more money for working in an area you're...

    You want more money for working in an area you're not specialist?
    Good luck with that. I'd be paying you less as it's not your area of expertise!

    Ask for remote working or paid training or...
  3. Replies
    16
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    1,415

    That's it.

    That's it.
  4. Maybe more info on this thread ...

    Maybe more info on this thread

    https://forums.contractoruk.com/accounting-legal/127906-child-maintenance-through-dividends.html
  5. Replies
    16
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    1,415

    Not my experience. If an organisation wants you...

    Not my experience.
    If an organisation wants you to project manage, say, a ERP implementation they want to hear from other organisations you've done this for before. Clients will sometimes want to...
  6. Replies
    21
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    2,886

    I'll give a webinar a go. My success when I get...

    I'll give a webinar a go. My success when I get in front of a client is very high (honestly can't recall the last gig I didn't get) however I probably only get to sit in front of maybe 5% of those I...
  7. Replies
    21
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    2,886

    I've tried lots of formats over the years. Right...

    I've tried lots of formats over the years. Right now it's seven pages, however page 1 solely contains:

    Name, mobile, email
    Bullet points of key skills
    Bullet points of recent assignments with...
  8. Replies
    10
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    1,889

    Take him for lunch. Sloooowly work in how...

    Take him for lunch.
    Sloooowly work in how contractors manage to avoid office politics. After all, you know of a person who disparaged a contractor and harmed his potential to get future business...
  9. Replies
    19
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    1,935

    I'm a PM and you have more technical skills than...

    I'm a PM and you have more technical skills than I have, but if someone is going to hire you as a contract PM they want more functional skills such as risk management, cost control, stakeholder...
  10. Replies
    38
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    2,864

    Tbf, he does know more about IR35 than anyone at...

    Tbf, he does know more about IR35 than anyone at HMRC.
  11. Replies
    2,286
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    458,087

    Hear hear! Some plain and simple honesty. Some...

    Hear hear! Some plain and simple honesty. Some smug contractors think they're geniuses when in fact the cards have just fallen for them.
  12. Thread: Need a job?

    by HugeWhale
    Replies
    43
    Views
    2,062

    Is that what it was? I haven't been following the...

    Is that what it was? I haven't been following the thread. I just saw mention of an independent thought and thought: what a rarity!
  13. Replies
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    4,639

    Good for you. That's what contracting is meant to...

    Good for you. That's what contracting is meant to be about. Many contractors (incl. me) rarely get to enjoy the fruits of our labours.

    Funny thing though: although your warchest is in good nick,...
  14. Thread: Need a job?

    by HugeWhale
    Replies
    43
    Views
    2,062

    Few people have independent thoughts any more: it...

    Few people have independent thoughts any more: it all comes from t'internet. On those rare occasions when someone actually does have an independent thought, they're denounced by the twitter pitchfork...
  15. I think it may depend on where you live. I'm a...

    I think it may depend on where you live. I'm a little out of date and it may be different where I live. The local councillor can advise and may have the power to 'call it in' as we used to say....
  16. In a past life I was chair of the planning...

    In a past life I was chair of the planning committee on my local council. I don't know where you live, but I can imagine that they have similar processes to what we had.

    1. If there are no...
  17. Dish the dirt. Or let me guess - they've honoured...

    Dish the dirt. Or let me guess - they've honoured the pay and pension stuff, but apart form that:


    Your boss is an unsupportive tyrant
    You're working out of a portakabin
    You have no budget
    ...
  18. Replies
    38
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    2,864

    So you have a four week contract that they may or...

    So you have a four week contract that they may or may not extend.
    You can't submit timesheets till the end of week 2 at the earliest.
    Client manager may sign it off at week 3 if you're lucky.
    12...
  19. None of my business - I'm just curious. Why is...

    None of my business - I'm just curious.

    Why is this? He'll already be paying tax and NI on the 26K salary so any salary taken above that will attract tax and NI at the applicable rate. NI will be...
  20. Replies
    97
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    9,170

    I think this is inevitable. For years employers...

    I think this is inevitable. For years employers have made people jump through ridiculous hoops - assessment centres, group exercises, 3 or more interviews, presentations, psychometric bulltulip.......
  21. Replies
    41
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    4,907

    There's a world outside IT! What you do is on the...

    There's a world outside IT! What you do is on the crest of a wave, but you can't extrapolate that to everyone else and assume that their industry is as buoyant.

    In some industries there is a rate...
  22. Replies
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    346

    Ask him how the mafia would operate in a ISO9001...

    Ask him how the mafia would operate in a ISO9001 environment.

    "But Godfather, we can't just shoot the stinking rat and bury him in the foundations. We have to get the process documented and...
  23. Thread: Need a job?

    by HugeWhale
    Replies
    43
    Views
    2,062

    In Malaysia monkeys have been trained to pick...

    In Malaysia monkeys have been trained to pick coconuts. I suspect the greedy blighters would eat all the strawberries though.
  24. Thread: Need a job?

    by HugeWhale
    Replies
    43
    Views
    2,062

    It isn't, it's pure socialism. The UK has spent a...

    It isn't, it's pure socialism. The UK has spent a thousand years accumulating wealth that is now to be given to Romania. What exactly stopped them from accumulating their own wealth in this time? My...
  25. Replies
    9
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    1,568

    Don't go. Why should you act as a bank for his...

    Don't go. Why should you act as a bank for his company? It's cash up-front for overseas travel: and you want full medical, evacuation insurance (not Delhi belly, but a helicopter and plane to bring...
  26. Thread: Need a job?

    by HugeWhale
    Replies
    43
    Views
    2,062

    Surely prison labour is the way to go. Get the...

    Surely prison labour is the way to go. Get the chain gangs picking fruit. They can be overseen by a tough guy in mirror sunglasses.
    Added benefit - the minimum wage does not apply to prisoners so...
  27. Replies
    14
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    1,655

    If it’s any consolation, many of us have been in...

    If it’s any consolation, many of us have been in the same situation (and don’t you just hate those pompous contractors who earn 2 grand a day and have not had any time on the bench in a decade? Do...
  28. Replies
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    1,215

    I'm going to the World Cup to support England....

    I'm going to the World Cup to support England. That is, the cricket World Cup which takes place in England next summer. I've already applied for tickets to Lord's, Edgbaston and Old Trafford plus the...
  29. Replies
    14
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    911

    All this London-centric crap. Was the Empire...

    All this London-centric crap. Was the Empire built on such dithering?

    It's obvious what needs to happen - build the damn runway in Birmingham and link it to London and Manchester via 500 mph...
  30. Replies
    41
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    4,907

    I used to break it down by day. It's not accurate...

    I used to break it down by day. It's not accurate but it was helpful for me

    Monday – I’m working for the taxman

    Tuesday – I’m working for the business
    (to cover business expenses and...
  31. Replies
    16
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    1,257

    Your flight back is for business purposes. Your...

    Your flight back is for business purposes. Your return flight to your holiday destination is purely for holiday purposes is it not?
    Anyhow, expense it and let your accountant determine whether it's...
  32. Replies
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    966

    I'll alert the patent office. They'll probably...

    I'll alert the patent office. They'll probably want to take on more staff.
  33. Replies
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    274

    Remember Jimmy Swaggart? He's the TV evangelist...

    Remember Jimmy Swaggart? He's the TV evangelist who wrote a cheque to a prostitute for services rendered, and it bounced.
    In a moment of not-quite-100% contrition, he told his stunned congregation:...
  34. Replies
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    1,647

    Have you been to Greece? The taxi drivers are all...

    Have you been to Greece? The taxi drivers are all driving Mercedes (it seems that wherever I go in Europe the taxis are Mercedes). All of the trains are made by Siemens. Deutsche Telecom has...
  35. Latest from Reuters......Archduke Ferdinand faked...

    Latest from Reuters......Archduke Ferdinand faked shooting. 16 Million deaths in WW1 'unfortunate side-effect' says prankster.
  36. Thread: Good news!

    by HugeWhale
    Replies
    5
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    330

    So the bank will effectively buy the house and...

    So the bank will effectively buy the house and act as landlord, while the mortgagee (renter) will be responsible for all repairs, maintenance, updates, insurance and risks. The BTL dream!
  37. Replies
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    772

    I read somewhere (it may have been on here, or in...

    I read somewhere (it may have been on here, or in the minutes of a Liberal Democrats Fundraising for Trump meeting, I'm not sure) that a third of young Americans will change their names in the future...
  38. Replies
    74
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    8,492

    Interesting responses. It seems that about half...

    Interesting responses. It seems that about half the people on here went contracting after months of consideration and with some kind of plan B in place, while the other half were much more...
  39. Having thought this through, I know how to get...

    Having thought this through, I know how to get drugs in. Bear with me, here's the unimpeachable logic:

    They identify the presence of drugs through a urine test.
    Ergo, there must be an amount of...
  40. Replies
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    1,488

    Not sure a Professorship is right for me at the...

    Not sure a Professorship is right for me at the moment.
  41. Replies
    30
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    1,488

    Here is my evidence that there's a recession...

    Here is my evidence that there's a recession coming:

    1. The baby boomers were born from about 1945 onwards. The average life expectancy is 85 so they'll typically die off from 2030. Some will go...
  42. I've just spoken with them at clientco and they...

    I've just spoken with them at clientco and they were great. They wanted to know what I'd be doing next so I told them (head of IR35 at HMRC :wink). They wished me all the best and asked if I could...
  43. I knew full well what I was doing and am willing...

    I knew full well what I was doing and am willing to deal with the fallout. I was seeking advice on the best way to do this.
    For info, I'm through an agent (although the client has just changed their...
  44. Not extending - how to discuss with clientco

    My contract expires in a couple of weeks and I have led clientco to believe that I will extend while simultaneously pursuing opportunities elsewhere.
    One of those opportunities has borne fruit and...
  45. Replies
    15
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    2,358

    It may or may not be relevant or of interest....

    It may or may not be relevant or of interest. Child maintenance is calculated on your declared earnings. Some more info here:
    ...
  46. Replies
    85
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    9,311

    Do you want to live in Sweden or the USA? Over...

    Do you want to live in Sweden or the USA?

    Over years the basic model of paying people money to undertake work has changed. It used to be straightforward but then came all manner of things which...
  47. OK, think I understand it now. The end client...

    OK, think I understand it now.

    The end client is not your customer and has not offered you a contract. The service provider is and has. You are not working for the end client you are delivering...
  48. Replies
    74
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    8,492

    I quit a permanent role and had about 20K in the...

    I quit a permanent role and had about 20K in the bank which could have lasted me for 9-10 months at the time . It took me four months to land my first contract and another two before I actually...
  49. Replies
    89
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    4,660

    She should keep schtum. 'Her bosses' as you refer...

    She should keep schtum. 'Her bosses' as you refer to them are not her bosses. They do not care about her. There is no HR department.
    They don't need to be dealing with her anxiety/pregnancy/liver...
  50. I don't know about squirrels, but I heard of a...

    I don't know about squirrels, but I heard of a guy who lost his gerbil and asked the police for a full cavity search.
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