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  1. I have hair, and they're a couple of bald...

    I have hair, and they're a couple of bald fookers. Well, apart from the dead one...which one is that again?
  2. You mean light bulbs?

    You mean light bulbs?
  3. The Germans got there first...:D

    The Germans got there first...:D
  4. Horror story actually. Bit of a mish-mash,...

    Horror story actually. Bit of a mish-mash, including some frame relay (there's one for the teenagers), to MPLS with a full DR capability. They had the last AS/400 system I ever saw, about 10 years...
  5. Some of our trade with the EU goes through Dover....

    Some of our trade with the EU goes through Dover. I know because Chris Grayling told me. Or was it Grant Shapps? Still, either of them probably has more of a grasp of international shipping than you...
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    Chris Grayling?

    Chris Grayling?
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    The vaccine can't come soon enough...:ohwell

    The vaccine can't come soon enough...:ohwell
  8. Thread: Bar tab

    by Mordac
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    228

    That's the normal bill for the month of January...

    That's the normal bill for the month of January (or indeed any other month).
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    Kabul, for example...:smokin

    Kabul, for example...:smokin
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    Was Lottie too old for him, you think? :wink...

    Was Lottie too old for him, you think? :wink :tongue
  11. I did an infrastructure upgrade for a UK-wide...

    I did an infrastructure upgrade for a UK-wide freight company (admittedly it was about 15 years ago) and I spent time in their Felixstowe base. Shipping movements are planned months in advance - I...
  12. No it isn't because I'm not. I know it goes...

    No it isn't because I'm not. I know it goes against your narrative (Must.Blame.Brexit) and that's probably affected your reading and comprehension skills.
    Air freight is roughly 90% down (a quick...
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    Oh Dear...:ladybags:

    Oh Dear...:ladybags:
  14. I had a Three phone once*, and it struggled with...

    I had a Three phone once*, and it struggled with some parts of London...

    *Not my choice, it was client issued :throw:
  15. How is a delay in handling container shipments...

    How is a delay in handling container shipments from Asia due to Brexit? If the French port authorities want to make life difficult after 1st Jan, exports will certainly be affected, but we're not...
  16. I doubt many will be affected, except possibly...

    I doubt many will be affected, except possibly those on PAYG roaming. Business data packages are worldwide, and no network will want to be the first to exclude European countries from their inclusive...
  17. Having spent some time previously at a freight...

    Having spent some time previously at a freight business, I suspect that it has a lot to do with Covid and little to do with Brexit. There are about 10% of normal flights, so about 10% of normal...
  18. It certainly would be a surrender document if it...

    It certainly would be a surrender document if it gives the French anything they want...the ungrateful sods...:rolleyes:
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    About 3 million, apparently: Three Million...

    About 3 million, apparently: Three Million Excluded - The Breakdown | ExcludedUK
  20. Thread: Well...

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    I think he thinks that if he goes more than 10...

    I think he thinks that if he goes more than 10 mins without posting, we'll fear the worst. Strangely, the opposite is true...

    :tumble:
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    Blimey, it works...

    Thanks for deducting reputation from this user.

    :smokin
  22. Thread: Sober Command

    by Mordac
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    2
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    180

    FTFY

    FTFY
  23. Replies
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    652

    Don't take your phone to the supermarket? Works a...

    Don't take your phone to the supermarket? Works a treat for me...
  24. Thread: COVID symptoms

    by Mordac
    Replies
    11
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    498

    On his way to the ballet, allegedly...

    On his way to the ballet, allegedly...
  25. Thread: Asteroid Doom

    by Mordac
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    22
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    633

    And if it hit Yorkshire, moaning would cease to...

    And if it hit Yorkshire, moaning would cease to exist*...:wink

    *almost
  26. Replies
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    Not those on the losing side... :suicide:

    Not those on the losing side...

    :suicide:
  27. Thread: COVID symptoms

    by Mordac
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    11
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    498

    No and no, but 2 weeks in quarantine and a ban on...

    No and no, but 2 weeks in quarantine and a ban on travelling between different tiers should pose some interesting logistical issues...
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    What's the betting there's a campaign on Twatter...

    What's the betting there's a campaign on Twatter to get it to number 1 so they have to play it? :banana:
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    Perhaps Giuliani knows something...?

    Perhaps Giuliani knows something...?
  30. Thread: Wins by a nose

    by Mordac
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    290

    Nobody's snorting at your joke...Edit: Because it...

    Nobody's snorting at your joke...Edit: Because it snot funny...

    :igmc:
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    They can't go downhill (or is that a myth?)

    They can't go downhill (or is that a myth?)
  32. Replies
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    I thought that was our resident angry racist...

    I thought that was our resident angry racist taking the piss, but it's actually a real BBC word.

    PressReader.com - Your favorite newspapers and magazines.

    Thankfully she'll be out of a job on...
  33. Thread: Wins by a nose

    by Mordac
    Replies
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    290

    That's not to be sniffed at... :igmc:

    That's not to be sniffed at...

    :igmc:
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    I won't tell my parents, they'll probably do...

    I won't tell my parents, they'll probably do something irresponsible like sell up and go on a round-the-world cruise. Oh, hang on...

    :igmc:
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    It's the first time in his life that he has heard...

    It's the first time in his life that he has heard people say "no". I hope Rudy Giuliani has cleared some space in his diary for the next few months, he's going to be doing a lot of overtime...
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    From memory, we beat Spain in Euro96 (I was...

    From memory, we beat Spain in Euro96 (I was there) and Colombia in Russia 2018 (I wasn't there). We tend not to do so well against Germany and Portugal. Hey ho...:ohwell
  37. Comedy, you mean? I don't think so...:wink

    Comedy, you mean? I don't think so...:wink
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    Boris usually is the father.

    Boris usually is the father.
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    FTFY

    FTFY
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    That's how Bill Gates will know what we're...

    That's how Bill Gates will know what we're thinking? Or something...

    :tumble:
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    Which vaccine has the microchips in it? :igmc:

    Which vaccine has the microchips in it?

    :igmc:
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    If Trump wants a war, he'll need to get a bit of...

    If Trump wants a war, he'll need to get a bit of a move on. In case you hadn't heard, there's been some sort of vote, and...oh sod it...
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    Based on a letter I got some years ago. I asked...

    Based on a letter I got some years ago. I asked the receptionist (she drinks in my local) about it, and she said they get audited to make sure they only have 'active' patients, to stop them keeping...
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    Good point. I've only registered in the last...

    Good point. I've only registered in the last decade or so (when bits of me stopped working or started falling off :ohwell) and if you don't use the surgery for a certain period, they can strike you...
  45. You've got a nerve. It's Dutch boats which cause...

    You've got a nerve. It's Dutch boats which cause the most problems. UK boats abide by those EU rules, which is why a huge percentage gets thrown overboard. I've never heard of an instance of EU boats...
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    Welcome to the 1970s...:eyes

    Welcome to the 1970s...:eyes
  47. Thread: Sad day

    by Mordac
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    1,248

    It wouldn't have provided Xog with a decent lunch.

    It wouldn't have provided Xog with a decent lunch.
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    It might do, you could get the non-dart player......

    It might do, you could get the non-dart player...


    (Bullseye joke, for those old enough)
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    To be fair, the last England-Scotland game I went...

    To be fair, the last England-Scotland game I went to was the play-off 2nd leg for the Euro 2000 finals at Wembley (the old version). You beat us 1-0, which would normally have been the cause of a...
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    Replace Boris with an unemployed person one day a...

    Replace Boris with an unemployed person one day a week? What could possibly go wrong (or even right)...?
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