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  1. I had one guy who sent me loads of jobs with the...

    I had one guy who sent me loads of jobs with the word "administrator" in the title. Im a Sys Admin.

    Office admin, accounts admin etc - common thing was it was a few miles from me.

    Best one was...
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    Nah its more like a training centre to be honest....

    Nah its more like a training centre to be honest. She runs courses for people. Most people don't pay cash because they're paying £100s for these courses.
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    Well over £85K it seems!

    Well over £85K it seems!
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    Pretty sure its more than a year..... That...

    Pretty sure its more than a year.....

    That wouldn't be clever. i.e. filing a return of more than £85K turnover then not registering for VAT.
    Or just hoping no-one wouldn't notice.
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    If I replace mouse and keyboard the bonus is a...

    If I replace mouse and keyboard the bonus is a blowie
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    Yes accountant has let her down a bit. (Although...

    Yes accountant has let her down a bit. (Although it could be argued its the business owners responsibility).

    I fear she could now be ****ed to be honest. Zero chance of invoicing VAT to her...
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    Those £5 "handies" add up though!

    Those £5 "handies" add up though!
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    VAT registration - friend didnt do

    Honestly not me - Im umbrella these days....

    A friend of my Mrs runs a beauty salon/training centre. Didn't register for VAT. Not clever.

    Now the VAT people are onto her. Her fault completely...
  9. If the female agent is a nice young lady I often...

    If the female agent is a nice young lady I often offer my "services". Got me loads of contracts honest....
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    "Surly shagging" - is that a bit like normal...

    "Surly shagging" - is that a bit like normal shagging but you try to look a bit miserable whilst doing it?
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    Another vote for leave from me. I wouldn't be...

    Another vote for leave from me.

    I wouldn't be working my nuts off either. Never do. If they want more than 8 hours on a regular basis then my attitude is "get another mug".

    Client wants to get...
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    Oh I will someday again...

    Oh I will someday again...
  13. the doll?

    the doll?
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    BOOMED - another 3 months

    To take me up to 3 years at this client.

    Thats a lot of keyboards I've swapped out.

    Its OK don't worry about IR35 - inside (public sector) since day 1. No sign of this one ending either.
  15. Thread: 4 day week

    by psychocandy
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    Wonder if I can claim JSA for one day a week....

    Wonder if I can claim JSA for one day a week....
  16. Thread: RWC

    by psychocandy
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    Ha ha. I guess if England win everyone in Wales...

    Ha ha. I guess if England win everyone in Wales will be saying "Not again. That's it I'm not buying a paper or watching the TV for the next month because they'll go on about it forever!"
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    Some weird clients out there. Had one who had a...

    Some weird clients out there. Had one who had a "contractors area" for desks which was a bit strange....

    Also, this particular client had a policy that contractors weren't allowed to leave site at...
  18. Thread: 4 day week

    by psychocandy
    Replies
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    596

    Current client is talking about moving from 7.5...

    Current client is talking about moving from 7.5 hour day to 8 hour day with 4 days per week for the permies.

    Contractors not mentioned. They can fook off if they think they're paying me 4 days.......
  19. Thread: RWC

    by psychocandy
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    ABE (Anyone But England) will do me.

    ABE (Anyone But England) will do me.
  20. Thread: RWC

    by psychocandy
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    Brillo mun, you'll get lynched!!!! Although...

    Brillo mun, you'll get lynched!!!!

    Although saying that maybe not in your part of the world. Went into a pub once and asked why the wales games wasn't on and guy said "footballs on, no-ones...
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    bittrex. OK it was sort of my fault. I didnt...

    bittrex.

    OK it was sort of my fault. I didnt turn on two factor authentication.... :-(
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    Happened to me years ago. Had a meeting got...

    Happened to me years ago. Had a meeting got informed of an allegation from a customer and I was being suspended. Alarm bells started ringing when they said at the end "if you sign this compromise...
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    Of course not. Why would they?

    Of course not. Why would they?
  24. Not unknown for agencies to do this. i.e. Jump...

    Not unknown for agencies to do this. i.e. Jump the gun a bit and try and get everything sorted so that when the client says "OK go" they can say "sorted contractor starts monday" and the client is...
  25. Get a large envelope. Brown is better. Drop one...

    Get a large envelope. Brown is better. Drop one in it and post to the client.
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    Is he REALLY REALLY good looking by any chance?...

    Is he REALLY REALLY good looking by any chance? (and got a huge whanger?)
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    If you're a client you have every right to enter...

    If you're a client you have every right to enter into the contract no notice period. You can't have it all ways. If you REALLY don't want the contractor to leave then stick in the contract.

    The...
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    You'd miss me :-)

    You'd miss me :-)
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    EXACTLY

    EXACTLY
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    Perhaps you do know me after all Simonmac?

    Perhaps you do know me after all Simonmac?
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    Ha ha - I remember this thread...... I think I've...

    Ha ha - I remember this thread...... I think I've come to the conclusion that public sector is packed with more cocks per head than normal.....

    If you remember I've been at public sector place for...
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    Annoying things in the office #998

    People who get over excited and loud......

    I just sit there and get on with things.

    Now despite what OG and NLUK I dont do desktop support. BUT the desktop team sit near me.

    Theres one...
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    Yeh. I'm sure that I'm not the only contractor...

    Yeh. I'm sure that I'm not the only contractor who gets involved in office banter where they say "we wont extend your contract".

    I always tell them "I don't give a **** - I'll go and work for a...
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    Right attitude is do whats right for YOU with the...

    Right attitude is do whats right for YOU with the allowed LEGAL clauses of the contract....
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    I had about £400 nicked off an exchange. Wasn't...

    I had about £400 nicked off an exchange. Wasn't happy.
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    Guilt is for pussies..... Only time I ever...

    Guilt is for pussies.....

    Only time I ever feel guilty is if I did something wrong like shag the neighbours cat. Invoking a legitimate clause in the contract (i.e. leaving early) is not something...
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    Actually NLUK I do agree with you on the PWD...

    Actually NLUK I do agree with you on the PWD thing as long as its not a piss take and it works both ways. Not all clients are equal as you probably know too.

    For me PWD is an "average" of 7.5/8...
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    Seen it many times. Goes in the agents arse...

    Seen it many times. Goes in the agents arse pocket.....
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    and cracking one off...

    and cracking one off...
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    Mrs PC only works part-time. I never WFH if shes...

    Mrs PC only works part-time. I never WFH if shes in the house because she does my chunk in :-)
  41. Thread: Missed me?

    by psychocandy
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    I can post some naked holiday pics?

    I can post some naked holiday pics?
  42. Thread: Missed me?

    by psychocandy
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    Missed me?

    Bet you all didn't even notice I haven't been on for a few weeks...

    Spending my JSA money in Florida again...
  43. Thread: Day rate

    by psychocandy
    Replies
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    Look sorry it came across this way (and sorry for...

    Look sorry it came across this way (and sorry for calling you fella!), but a lot of us have seen this many times.....

    Out of interest, how far is the commute and how long does it take with no...
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    OP Tuesday-Friday - surf the web and crack one...

    OP

    Tuesday-Friday - surf the web and crack one off in the toilets.
    Monday - watch TV and do the same.

    If you're bored - leave.

    Better result - get more WFH and you won't even have to...
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    Hmm, so agency had no need to give notice? ...

    Hmm, so agency had no need to give notice?

    That Friday though - I'd be pushing for something at least....
  46. Thread: Day rate

    by psychocandy
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    I agree.... OP - didn't you consider the...

    I agree....

    OP - didn't you consider the travel before you thought about the gig? i.e. google maps for travel time, trains etc - basic stuff.

    7.5/8 hours is hardly that bad......

    11 hours...
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    Look at the size of my willy! #willywaving

    Look at the size of my willy! #willywaving
  48. Reckon I used my allowance for the next decade...

    Reckon I used my allowance for the next decade then in Glastonbury this year.....

    Anyone else know the phrase "tulipting through a sponge"
  49. Yeh it was £120 for me. 3 miles or so. Guess its...

    Yeh it was £120 for me. 3 miles or so. Guess its a nice little earner. Would have taken him an hour I guess. Easy money for the garage, just say nothing, add on to the bill, half won't notice, half...
  50. nah I did all that.

    nah I did all that.
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