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  1. Replies
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    It's a still from a comedy film Ask a Policeman...

    It's a still from a comedy film Ask a Policeman (1939) starring Will Hay and his two sidekicks Graham Moffatt and Moore Marriott, who were with him in several films.

    It's about a sleepy village...
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    I reckon these bounce back loans and top ups will...

    I reckon these bounce back loans and top ups will lead to a huge wave of insolvencies in a few years, when it dawns on some directors that it isn't "free money" but taxable if/when they take it out...
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    I'll need one of those if/when Boris bottles it...

    I'll need one of those if/when Boris bottles it and caves in to the EU

    (which I'm fairly sure he is currently doing, although I'll be pleasantly surprised to be proved wrong).

    Fellow (including...
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    Might be OK with some new panels, and they can...

    Might be OK with some new panels, and they can bend a whole car frame back straight on a large jig.

    But it's mostly the labour costs these days that determine whether a car is a write-off.
    ...
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    Nope, but they're red hot on speeding, like this...

    Nope, but they're red hot on speeding, like this lot of clowns I snapped on my mobile as I drove past the other day :rolleyes:

    https://www.thespinningimage.co.uk/cultfilms/images/8925.jpg
  6. Thread: Cipher Command

    by OwlHoot
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    Yep, I can go along with most of that, and I've...

    Yep, I can go along with most of that, and I've often said much the same, but I don't agree with 3c03538c036
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    Absolutely! No doubt sheep think a sheepdog...

    Absolutely! No doubt sheep think a sheepdog nipping at their ankles is "a nasty piece of work", but the sheep need herding all the same!
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    Nothing if it's a proper Cornish pasty you can...

    Nothing if it's a proper Cornish pasty you can drop down a tin mine shaft, and when you reach the bottom to check, it's fine and still in one piece! :smokin
  9. Indeed. The Indo-Europeans were also the first to...

    Indeed. The Indo-Europeans were also the first to tame and ride horses, which would probably have helped their migrations & conquests.

    (Actually, I think the article mentioned the horses.)
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    Because Cornwall is remote even by Devon...

    Because Cornwall is remote even by Devon standards. For me, living a few miles north west of Tiverton, a drive to say Truro would take a good two hours!

    OTOH, I can be on the M5 (J27) in 20...
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    OG is projecting, by posting an acronym that...

    OG is projecting, by posting an acronym that applies mainly to Remainers like himself ("You Lost, Get over it") :rolleyes:
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    Unfortunately, botulism looks OK and smells OK...

    Unfortunately, botulism looks OK and smells OK :eek:
  13. There are quite a few Indo-European words that...

    There are quite a few Indo-European words that have hardly changed in 8000 years, and in some cases probably 100,000 years or more (not that the Indo-Europeans were around for anywhere near that...
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    Ditto, and where I am on the southern part of...

    Ditto, and where I am on the southern part of Exmoor, we aren't even beset by tourists and their traffic! :banana:
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    :bang: Mind you, Newgrange...

    :bang:

    Mind you, Newgrange in Country Meath would make a great spot for a multi-lane motorway roundabout!

    Seriously, I think a long tunnel is a great idea, as long as it is bored, rather than...
  16. Thread: Fight...

    by OwlHoot
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    537

    Is this a sign Boris is wobbling and going soft...

    Is this a sign Boris is wobbling and going soft on Brexit now Biden has been elected? :mad
  17. Thread: DOOM: CGT

    by OwlHoot
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    I wonder how long it will be before they start...

    I wonder how long it will be before they start bumping up inheritance tax too, treating it like income tax ! :mad
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    Oh that. I thought NAT was talking about German...

    Oh that. I thought NAT was talking about German motorways!
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    Once she's trained, she should do as she's biden...

    Once she's trained, she should do as she's biden

    (Haven't read the thread yet, but I bet someone beat me to that!)
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    FFS! You'd think after the last lockdown these...

    FFS! You'd think after the last lockdown these mutton-headed imbeciles would have taken the opportunity to buy and put aside a few extra supplies of bog rolls and pasta!

    I mean it isn't as if they...
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    Trivia: George Washington was the only US six...

    Trivia: George Washington was the only US six star general there ever was, or will be.
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    Oh feck, I wonder what it will make of the tilde...

    Oh feck, I wonder what it will make of the tilde in my password! :frown

    I suspect if your password is "; delete from account_table where 1=1;" all hell would break loose! :laugh
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    20 Odd Slang Terms and Activities from the...

    20 Odd Slang Terms and Activities from the Roaring Twenties That Prove Young People Have Always Been Confusing

    edit: Oh, I've just gone and reposted Lockhouse's link I wondered where I found it!...
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    As you must use it so often, I'd have thought you...

    As you must use it so often, I'd have thought you could find while blindfolded! :laugh
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    Are you saying that paying a VAT bill was...

    Are you saying that paying a VAT bill was potentially the most important last task you had to do in this life? :rollin:

    Sort of reminds me of Henry Royce's (cofounder of Rolls Royce) reputed last...
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    Yup, and the word is a similar construction to...

    Yup, and the word is a similar construction to "neer do well" which I think was Tudor slang from around the same time.
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    Oh God, nor more of them. I live on Exmoor, and...

    Oh God, nor more of them. I live on Exmoor, and mobile coverage here is as bad as it was in medievil times!

    Sometimes I have to wait several minutes for my OTP to arrive. I hope they haven't...
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    Why did they have to mess around with the old...

    Why did they have to mess around with the old website? It seemed perfectly OK to me. :confused:

    (Haven't tried to use the new one yet)
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    True, but if pubs and non-essential shops are all...

    True, but if pubs and non-essential shops are all shut then there will be less reason for most people to be out and about on the roads
  30. Thread: Male Chastity

    by OwlHoot
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    Is that the Bluetooth model that a hacker can...

    Is that the Bluetooth model that a hacker can lock shut? :laugh
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    Nah, for once the learned Dr Johnson was barking...

    World Wide Words: Nincompoop[/QUOTE]

    Nah, for once the learned Dr Johnson was barking up the wrong tree!

    It was originally Elizabethan (i.e. around the time of Drake and Raleigh) Naval slang...
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    The sophisticated Turks live mostly on or hear...

    The sophisticated Turks live mostly on or hear the Mediterranean, but they are vastly outnumbered by a huge population of ignorant donkey riding peasants living inland, and presumably it's the latter...
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    Looks like it would be much easier to scramble up...

    Looks like it would be much easier to scramble up those bare rocks, instead of trudging through all that snow and then having to queue! :D
  34. Huh? I thought crayfish lived underwater....

    Huh? I thought crayfish lived underwater. :confused:
  35. Who says there is? I bet there isn't ! :tantrum:

    Who says there is? I bet there isn't ! :tantrum:
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    And how come Elvis Presley hasn't run out of...

    And how come Elvis Presley hasn't run out of oxygen by now?
  37. Thread: Spreadsheets

    by OwlHoot
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    I thought the whole UK banking system ran on IBM...

    I thought the whole UK banking system ran on IBM 360s, fed COBOL programs on punched cards. :confused:
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    Just had the new Russkie virus

    I've just been administered the vaccine created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning and I wanted to reassure yuo all that it’s completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I...
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    Not so - The furlough scheme ended in June. So if...

    Not so - The furlough scheme ended in June. So if your inside-IR35 contract ended after that and you've been sitting on your arse ever since then you're plumb out of luck!
  40. All true, certainly the final para. I've heard...

    All true, certainly the final para. I've heard that Amazon will remotely delete an ebook off your Kindle at the drop of a hat if there's even a hint of a complaint about it (potential copyright...
  41. Best sites for downloading bootleg or old films and ebooks

    I usually prefer buying bluray films these days, as the quality and lack of malware is guaranteed.

    But a friend (no really) was asking if there are still Torrent sites, as there were say ten years...
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    A nincompoop needn't necessarily be stupid. It...

    A nincompoop needn't necessarily be stupid. It really means an ineffectual person.
  43. Thread: $750

    by OwlHoot
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    Pretty sure it is, and for civil suits...

    Pretty sure it is, and for civil suits specifically.

    While in office, he can only be impeached for political and/or criminal offences.
  44. Thread: $750

    by OwlHoot
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    854

    While he is President he has sovereign immunity...

    While he is President he has sovereign immunity from suit (I think), certainly for actions taken while in office
  45. Hehe! well I did contemplate "The Great Escaping"...

    Hehe! well I did contemplate "The Great Escaping" it, by packing small bags tied to my legs and pulling a string to release it in some public space and shuffling it into the ground while casually...
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    Until another moulds pop up and starts rotting...

    Until another moulds pop up and starts rotting potatoes, as one did in Ireland in the 19th century :eyes
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    If you want to pack them away in the database...

    If you want to pack them away in the database pronto, but aren't too bothered about retrieval speed, then Cassandra would be a good choice.

    Edit: It's free (open source) and by now fairly mature
  48. The worst offenders, per head, yes of course, I...

    The worst offenders, per head, yes of course, I do accept that.

    But I imagine their consumption is dwarfed by the collective consumption of the hordes of poor people in places such as India and...
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    If it's homeopathic bat soup, I thought of it...

    If it's homeopathic bat soup, I thought of it first! :tantrum:

    (It might work wonders against corona virus :smokin )
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    I think HairyArsedBloke had some health issues. ...

    I think HairyArsedBloke had some health issues.

    But also, didn't he devise an app for filtering and displaying stock market results on a mobile phone, and the rights to this were bought by a...
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