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  1. Replies
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    If he was a top sh*gger, the lady wouldn't need a...

    If he was a top sh*gger, the lady wouldn't need a dildo, surely?
  2. Replies
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    That'll be from the dog on the 80's TV show...

    That'll be from the dog on the 80's TV show "That's Life" (from 1:37). Not particularly funny, in my opinion, but very memorable for some reason:


    .
  3. Replies
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    I love a bit of brown sauce on my sausage lol

    I love a bit of brown sauce on my sausage lol
  4. It's alright, Big Sam is stepping into the...

    It's alright, Big Sam is stepping into the breach, as caretaker princess..

    Sam Allardyce to step in as caretaker princess for rest of season - The Rochdale Herald
  5. Replies
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    Noooo! not another one leaving.. I read...

    Noooo! not another one leaving..




    I read that to mean dogging, in a field.

    Cheerio! :tongue
  6. Thread: Merry Christmas

    by GJABS
    Replies
    13
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    347

    Workhouses? Isn't that another name for...

    Workhouses? Isn't that another name for Amazon.co.uk distribution warehouses?
  7. Replies
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    Don't give them ideas! :tantrum:

    Don't give them ideas! :tantrum:
  8. Smile, and keep on invoicing.. ๐Ÿ’ณ ๐Ÿ’ณ

    Smile, and keep on invoicing.. ๐Ÿ’ณ ๐Ÿ’ณ
  9. Thread: Merry Christmas

    by GJABS
    Replies
    13
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    347

    Bah Humbug ๐Ÿ˜ก .. ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿ””โ„โ˜ƒโ›„ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ”ซ ๐Ÿ”ซ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ ..๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ‘ป.. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    Bah Humbug ๐Ÿ˜ก .. ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿ””โ„โ˜ƒโ›„ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ”ซ ๐Ÿ”ซ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ ..๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ‘ป.. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
  10. Replies
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    Send my naked photos across social media. I'd be...

    Send my naked photos across social media. I'd be up for that - would save me needing to renew my hookup app subscription - free advertising ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
  11. Thread: 52

    by GJABS
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    53

    53
  12. Replies
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    I'm always in the mood for a good bumming :moon:

    I'm always in the mood for a good bumming :moon:
  13. Replies
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    1,248

    Did you party like it was nine-teen nine-ty nine?

    Did you party like it was nine-teen nine-ty nine?
  14. Replies
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    1,697

    Though you might find this place is like the...

    Though you might find this place is like the Hotel California. You can check out - but you can never really leave ;)

    bye
  15. Replies
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    How about the luxury train, from Singapore to...

    How about the luxury train, from Singapore to Bangkok.

    Signature Journey: Bangkok to Singapore | Luxury Train Travel Southeast Asia

    Mega expensive though, at around $3000 per person.
  16. Replies
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    I managed to get out, relatively unscathed....

    I managed to get out, relatively unscathed.
    Phew!
    Fellow escapees are encouraged to let their families know that they're safe, by posting the following to social media:
    ...
  17. Replies
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    511

    Think that would be more San Francisco than Los...

    Think that would be more San Francisco than Los Angeles..
  18. Replies
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    Breaking news - shots fired..

    At a high-rise building in Los Angeles. Hope it's not serious! :eek

    https://secureservercdn.net/198.71.233.129/d24.097.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/nakatomi.jpg

    Fire Alarm, Shots...
  19. Thread: How to disagree

    by GJABS
    Replies
    8
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    362

    Complete Horsetulip! ๐ŸŒท

    Complete Horsetulip! ๐ŸŒท
  20. Replies
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    It doesn't have to be your own one though ;)

    It doesn't have to be your own one though ;)
  21. Replies
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    Actually I was hoping they WERE looking to play...

    Actually I was hoping they WERE looking to play monopoly
    ;)
  22. Replies
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    Sounds intriguing. Care to share the linky?

    Sounds intriguing. Care to share the linky?
  23. Thread: Dark Days...

    by GJABS
    Replies
    145
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    7,234

    Ah, but you are making the assumption that she...

    Ah, but you are making the assumption that she wants the fantasy to be fulfilled. Actually it is quite likely, based on my (very recent) experience in the gay world (Grindr), that she is just using...
  24. Thread: Dark Days...

    by GJABS
    Replies
    145
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    7,234

    It's cos Noel Edmunds stopped presenting Swap...

    It's cos Noel Edmunds stopped presenting Swap Shop after the 70's ended, and went on to other shows that were crappy - the nation's mental health too a dive from then onwards..
  25. Thread: Dark Days...

    by GJABS
    Replies
    145
    Views
    7,234

    I think there's a lot of truth to that. It...

    I think there's a lot of truth to that. It certainly mirrors my experience with depression - that you can handle one thing going wrong in your life, but add a second or a third, and it sends your...
  26. Well I've made the first blunder of the festive...

    Well I've made the first blunder of the festive season. Got a custom framed coat of arms for my father for our family's surname. Got the English version. I'm English. He's Scottish.

    He would not...
  27. Replies
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    You mean my Gwinder dates - as he would say it..

    You mean my Gwinder dates - as he would say it..
  28. Don't you mean over perform at under achieving?...

    Don't you mean over perform at under achieving?
    Or under achieve at over performing?
  29. Replies
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    He was last seen 'wummaging awound in the...

    He was last seen 'wummaging awound in the undergwoff'..
  30. Thread: Are you poor?

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    1,540

    I thought the numbers were contractor day rates...

    I thought the numbers were contractor day rates for a moment..
  31. Thread: Blackcurrants

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    1,316

    And what about catering for our racist friends? I...

    And what about catering for our racist friends? I want to eat whitecurrants :p

    Edit: there really are whitecurrants - never knew..
  32. Thread: Where's Moggy?

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    802

    Never mind him, I'd do his sister, now she's...

    Never mind him, I'd do his sister, now she's turned Tory :happy
  33. Replies
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    Meh, I've had worse interviews than that for some...

    Meh, I've had worse interviews than that for some of my gigs :o
  34. Thread: Same Old Twunts

    by GJABS
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    749

    Maybe from a 804 day ban by the mods?

    Maybe from a 804 day ban by the mods?
  35. Those sort of "contractors" charge by the hour...

    Those sort of "contractors" charge by the hour though :p
  36. Ooh there's some select people in your persons...

    Ooh there's some select people in your persons table - can I do a group by?
  37. Says a boy database table to a girl database...

    Says a boy database table to a girl database table: "mind if I join you?"
  38. Replies
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    Call yourself an IT contractor? Where's your...

    Call yourself an IT contractor? Where's your hacking skills? :p
  39. Replies
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    Probably. I hope I don't turn into Uncle Monty! :)

    Probably. I hope I don't turn into Uncle Monty! :)
  40. Replies
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    Yes a hidden trick this is, with service areas. I...

    Yes a hidden trick this is, with service areas. I often use the back entrance :D
  41. Replies
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    OK which one of you is responsible? Brentford...

    OK which one of you is responsible?

    Brentford Travelodge: Dozens evacuated from major fire in west London - BBC News

    Brentford - home to many of our clients (GSK, Sky, Gillette etc) so must...
  42. Replies
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    Knew one guy who "lived" in clientco server room.

    Knew one guy who "lived" in clientco server room.
  43. Replies
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    No, but I get to claim all of the fairies (I am a...

    No, but I get to claim all of the fairies (I am a slapper lol)
  44. Replies
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    I thought that was my job :rolleyes:

    I thought that was my job :rolleyes:
  45. Why are people posting odds on their likelihood...

    Why are people posting odds on their likelihood of getting furloughed?

    I'll bet 50 quid on Halo Jones getting it, at 06/01.
  46. We create jobs for ourselves as directors. And...

    We create jobs for ourselves as directors. And some of us go on to form consultancies and are able to hire others.

    I agree, though, that we are not what you would call classic entrepreneurs,...
  47. Employees generally pay a higher percentage of...

    Employees generally pay a higher percentage of their pay in tax, than entrepreneurs. This is because the state wants to encourage employees to become entrepreneurs. Us contractors sit somewhere...
  48. Replies
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    Could your wife stand against him? ;)

    Could your wife stand against him? ;)
  49. Replies
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    I am. With Boris the bear, Jo S-twink-son...

    I am.

    With Boris the bear, Jo S-twink-son (female) of the Liberal Democrats, Ian Blackford of the SNP (daddy), and Corbyn the dirty old man, I don't have any love for any of them.

    I've only got...
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    I have. But mb31's wife's got a beard and an...

    I have. But mb31's wife's got a beard and an Adam's apple, so doing her is easy ;)
    (Joke!)
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