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  1. Replies
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    He hosted "Sale of the Century". Well, at 96...

    He hosted "Sale of the Century". Well, at 96 years of age, he nearly made his century. RIP Nick :(
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    Do they accept emoji entries? Here's mine: ...

    Do they accept emoji entries? Here's mine:

    :cretin::cheers:
    :cool: :moon:
  3. Thread: Boomed

    by GJABS
    Replies
    16
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    639

    :banana::banana::banana2::banana2::banana:

    :banana::banana::banana2::banana2::banana:
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    Maybe he is. But I shouldn't be getting a ban...

    Maybe he is. But I shouldn't be getting a ban from Facebook for expressing support for him. Ridicule, maybe, but not a ban :)
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    Facebook is getting absurd in its moderating. I'm...

    Facebook is getting absurd in its moderating. I'm currently on a 56 day ban on "going live" with them, for posting "Tommy Robinson - patriot", and " Tommy Tommy Tommy! lol" on The Independent's...
  6. What was their sin?

    What was their sin?
  7. I would be more than happy to buy the permies a...

    I would be more than happy to buy the permies a round of beer. I've been alcohol-free for the past 3 years, so they'll enjoy Heineken zero and Becks blue by the bucket full on me.

    But then I'll...
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    And what about if the 5 people are members of...

    And what about if the 5 people are members of this forum?
  9. The thing is, how do you know that it is stupid?...

    The thing is, how do you know that it is stupid? You, as a lowly contractor, don't have the big picture - it might actually make sense to do it that way.

    An example of this, is the following: In...
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    Gee, such negativity. You lot need to get some...

    Gee, such negativity. You lot need to get some nookie..
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    If he was a top sh*gger, the lady wouldn't need a...

    If he was a top sh*gger, the lady wouldn't need a dildo, surely?
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    That'll be from the dog on the 80's TV show...

    That'll be from the dog on the 80's TV show "That's Life" (from 1:37). Not particularly funny, in my opinion, but very memorable for some reason:


    .
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    I love a bit of brown sauce on my sausage lol

    I love a bit of brown sauce on my sausage lol
  14. It's alright, Big Sam is stepping into the...

    It's alright, Big Sam is stepping into the breach, as caretaker princess..

    Sam Allardyce to step in as caretaker princess for rest of season - The Rochdale Herald
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    Noooo! not another one leaving.. I read...

    Noooo! not another one leaving..




    I read that to mean dogging, in a field.

    Cheerio! :tongue
  16. Thread: Merry Christmas

    by GJABS
    Replies
    13
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    Workhouses? Isn't that another name for...

    Workhouses? Isn't that another name for Amazon.co.uk distribution warehouses?
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    Don't give them ideas! :tantrum:

    Don't give them ideas! :tantrum:
  18. Smile, and keep on invoicing.. 💳 💳

    Smile, and keep on invoicing.. 💳 💳
  19. Thread: Merry Christmas

    by GJABS
    Replies
    13
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    385

    Bah Humbug 😡 .. 🎄🎅🔔❄☃⛄ 🔫🔫 🔫 💥💥💥 ..💀👻.. 😈😈😈

    Bah Humbug 😡 .. 🎄🎅🔔❄☃⛄ 🔫🔫 🔫 💥💥💥 ..💀👻.. 😈😈😈
  20. Replies
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    Send my naked photos across social media. I'd be...

    Send my naked photos across social media. I'd be up for that - would save me needing to renew my hookup app subscription - free advertising 😈
  21. Thread: 52

    by GJABS
    Replies
    7
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    450

    53

    53
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    I'm always in the mood for a good bumming :moon:

    I'm always in the mood for a good bumming :moon:
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    Did you party like it was nine-teen nine-ty nine?

    Did you party like it was nine-teen nine-ty nine?
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    Though you might find this place is like the...

    Though you might find this place is like the Hotel California. You can check out - but you can never really leave ;)

    bye
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    How about the luxury train, from Singapore to...

    How about the luxury train, from Singapore to Bangkok.

    Signature Journey: Bangkok to Singapore | Luxury Train Travel Southeast Asia

    Mega expensive though, at around $3000 per person.
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    I managed to get out, relatively unscathed....

    I managed to get out, relatively unscathed.
    Phew!
    Fellow escapees are encouraged to let their families know that they're safe, by posting the following to social media:
    ...
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    Think that would be more San Francisco than Los...

    Think that would be more San Francisco than Los Angeles..
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    Breaking news - shots fired..

    At a high-rise building in Los Angeles. Hope it's not serious! :eek

    https://secureservercdn.net/198.71.233.129/d24.097.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/nakatomi.jpg

    Fire Alarm, Shots...
  29. Thread: How to disagree

    by GJABS
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    Complete Horsetulip! 🌷

    Complete Horsetulip! 🌷
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    It doesn't have to be your own one though ;)

    It doesn't have to be your own one though ;)
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    Actually I was hoping they WERE looking to play...

    Actually I was hoping they WERE looking to play monopoly
    ;)
  32. Replies
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    Sounds intriguing. Care to share the linky?

    Sounds intriguing. Care to share the linky?
  33. Thread: Dark Days...

    by GJABS
    Replies
    145
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    7,362

    Ah, but you are making the assumption that she...

    Ah, but you are making the assumption that she wants the fantasy to be fulfilled. Actually it is quite likely, based on my (very recent) experience in the gay world (Grindr), that she is just using...
  34. Thread: Dark Days...

    by GJABS
    Replies
    145
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    7,362

    It's cos Noel Edmunds stopped presenting Swap...

    It's cos Noel Edmunds stopped presenting Swap Shop after the 70's ended, and went on to other shows that were crappy - the nation's mental health too a dive from then onwards..
  35. Thread: Dark Days...

    by GJABS
    Replies
    145
    Views
    7,362

    I think there's a lot of truth to that. It...

    I think there's a lot of truth to that. It certainly mirrors my experience with depression - that you can handle one thing going wrong in your life, but add a second or a third, and it sends your...
  36. Well I've made the first blunder of the festive...

    Well I've made the first blunder of the festive season. Got a custom framed coat of arms for my father for our family's surname. Got the English version. I'm English. He's Scottish.

    He would not...
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    You mean my Gwinder dates - as he would say it..

    You mean my Gwinder dates - as he would say it..
  38. Don't you mean over perform at under achieving?...

    Don't you mean over perform at under achieving?
    Or under achieve at over performing?
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    He was last seen 'wummaging awound in the...

    He was last seen 'wummaging awound in the undergwoff'..
  40. Thread: Are you poor?

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    1,566

    I thought the numbers were contractor day rates...

    I thought the numbers were contractor day rates for a moment..
  41. Thread: Blackcurrants

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    1,417

    And what about catering for our racist friends? I...

    And what about catering for our racist friends? I want to eat whitecurrants :p

    Edit: there really are whitecurrants - never knew..
  42. Thread: Where's Moggy?

    by GJABS
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    812

    Never mind him, I'd do his sister, now she's...

    Never mind him, I'd do his sister, now she's turned Tory :happy
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    Meh, I've had worse interviews than that for some...

    Meh, I've had worse interviews than that for some of my gigs :o
  44. Thread: Same Old Twunts

    by GJABS
    Replies
    13
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    763

    Maybe from a 804 day ban by the mods?

    Maybe from a 804 day ban by the mods?
  45. Those sort of "contractors" charge by the hour...

    Those sort of "contractors" charge by the hour though :p
  46. Ooh there's some select people in your persons...

    Ooh there's some select people in your persons table - can I do a group by?
  47. Says a boy database table to a girl database...

    Says a boy database table to a girl database table: "mind if I join you?"
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    Call yourself an IT contractor? Where's your...

    Call yourself an IT contractor? Where's your hacking skills? :p
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    Probably. I hope I don't turn into Uncle Monty! :)

    Probably. I hope I don't turn into Uncle Monty! :)
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    Yes a hidden trick this is, with service areas. I...

    Yes a hidden trick this is, with service areas. I often use the back entrance :D
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