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    My Xmas sorted!

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43736/43736.jpeg
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    The wife and I used to like a night in the pub...

    The wife and I used to like a night in the pub and enjoyed an active sex life.
    Then we met each other and got married.
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    Boris Johnson has said live on BBC TV that the...

    Boris Johnson has said live on BBC TV that the Government will use the 3 tools in its armoury to fight COVID-19


    Michael Gove, Nick Hancock and Dominic Raab I assume
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    nope ancient history Wetherspoon to stop...

    nope ancient history

    Wetherspoon to stop selling champagne and prosecco - BBC News





    Spoons must have been outraged when they found they sold the most champagne to old smeg trying to...
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    Aye Comrade we have to satisfy the party...

    Aye Comrade we have to satisfy the party apparatchik .
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    Cummings is a t*sser of the first order but I...

    Cummings is a t*sser of the first order but I doubt we can blame him for the entire fiasco. Various MPs ignored restrictions and so did many members of the public.
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    Not sure if you ae being sarcastic or naïve? ...

    Not sure if you ae being sarcastic or naïve?

    Illegal immigrant who raped woman with Down’s can’t be deported as he won’t sign paper | UK | News | Express.co.uk
    Feminist Sweden Can't Deport...
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    No smoking full stop, I think they include vaping...

    No smoking full stop, I think they include vaping now, first it was the petrochemical and sites with explosives then the drug companies then the rest of the world caught up.
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    Remember that at Glaxo in the early 90s. Fence...

    Remember that at Glaxo in the early 90s.

    Fence to fence, Having to go to the bus stop over the road for a smoke.
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    Nah they have banned WTFH again.

    Nah they have banned WTFH again.
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    They ran out of fag packets?

    They ran out of fag packets?
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    oops sorry was saving Monday links for later...

    oops sorry was saving Monday links for later after fixing this API stuff.

    As always Nick you are ahead of me.
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    I didn't work for them directly (I would have...

    I didn't work for them directly (I would have gone insane) my employer hired me as tech support and I then did the complicated stuff the installers couldn't do on site. I did work with most of the...
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    People with too much time on their hands

    Booting A PC From Vinyl For A Warmer, Richer OS | Hackaday



    https://hackaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/vinyl-boot1-scaled-1.jpg?w=800
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    Decades ago I did lots of work in government...

    Decades ago I did lots of work in government departments and public sector some of the staff were so incompetent or radical I have no idea why they weren't fired on the spot. My tongue was usually...
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    The Grovefield house is quite nice, if you just...

    The Grovefield house is quite nice, if you just want a place to put your head try the Copthorne or Holiday inn.
  17. Comes to something when women are so nuts even...

    Comes to something when women are so nuts even another woman can't stay married to them.
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    good to see you saddos are still obsessed with...

    good to see you saddos are still obsessed with making tulip up about me.
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43725/43725.j...

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43725/43725.jpeg
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43668/43668.j...

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43668/43668.jpg
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43688/43688.j...

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43688/43688.jpeg
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43691/43691.jpeg
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    I was sacked from an insect repellent company for...

    I was sacked from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic so I destroyed their computers.


    There's no files on me
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    I've accidentally swallowed invisible ink" ...

    I've accidentally swallowed invisible ink"



    I've called the doctor but he can't see me :)
  25. Replies
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    for newer members

    I walked up to the counter at Screwfix and said..
    "do you have a bleeding valve for a radiator?"
    The assistant replied..
    "not with that attitude sir."
  26. oh she is going to take all your nuts prenup or...

    oh she is going to take all your nuts prenup or not.
  27. If you are in the at main risk group that would...

    If you are in the at main risk group that would be enough for you.
  28. Why has Nuttina been hinting?

    Why has Nuttina been hinting?
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    I can see why she as a politician is in trouble -...

    I can see why she as a politician is in trouble - she told the truth.
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    Is no one worried so many of our members are...

    Is no one worried so many of our members are obsessed with the size of a members member?
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    with 0-180 mph in 3.6 seconds the journey into...

    with 0-180 mph in 3.6 seconds the journey into the wall wouldn't take long.
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    This is the reality if your job is at risk you...

    This is the reality if your job is at risk you probably need to retrain.
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    I've pleaded with my wife to "stay at home" this...

    I've pleaded with my wife to "stay at home" this Christmas.


    Not cause of the virus, I just don't want to go to her mother's.
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    for LM apparently

    Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury, has announced he is to take a sabbatical 'for spiritual renewal'.


    He must have quite a problem if it's going to take him all day Sunday to make a trip...
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    When I take a sauna I have to be the only one in...

    When I take a sauna I have to be the only one in there.


    I have selfish steam issues.
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    I can't stand people who've had their phalanges...

    I can't stand people who've had their phalanges removed.
    I'm lack toes intolerant.
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    Unless its a travellers funeral.

    Unless its a travellers funeral.
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    It was an R8 surely you parked it in the car in...

    It was an R8 surely you parked it in the car in front at >70mph like other Audi drivers.
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    I see dead people...

    I see dead people...
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43659/43659.jpeg
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    for ms

    I ate a kids meal in McDonald’s this morning. His mum was furious.
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    After getting the windows on my car tinted black,...

    After getting the windows on my car tinted black, I showed it to my wife.She said, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that thing!"I said, "That's sort of the point."
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    My son went over to America and shot five black...

    My son went over to America and shot five black people.


    The cops just sent him home.


    They want to take the credit.
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    My mate said, "My kid has decided to turn vegan...

    My mate said, "My kid has decided to turn vegan and won't eat any kind of meat. What can I replace it with?"


    "A Labrador," I said, "they'll eat anything."
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    You get a stiffy thinking about eating yourself?

    You get a stiffy thinking about eating yourself?
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    Father in law loved his in his last year. Nice...

    Father in law loved his in his last year. Nice and tall to get out of, he drove long distance - travelling expert.
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43622/43622.j...

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43622/43622.jpeg
  48. Replies
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    too true

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43628/43628.jpg
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43632/43632.j...

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic43632/43632.jpeg
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