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    Large crystal ball for sale. Only £50, but you...

    Large crystal ball for sale. Only £50, but you will haggle me down and buy it for £35.
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    "I hear you split up with your wife.""I did....

    "I hear you split up with your wife.""I did. Would you stay with someone who sat about in their bra and pants all day, drinking Gin and watching Loose Woman?""I sure wouldn't.""Well, neither would...
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    I think I had a really good time last night. ...

    I think I had a really good time last night.


    I'll let you know after I finish reading the police report.
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    Just bought a load of old railway buffers on eBay...

    Just bought a load of old railway buffers on eBay for a bargain price. It was an end of line sale.
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    I was walking out of the hospital when this...

    I was walking out of the hospital when this scruffy looking scrote asked "any change, pal"


    No, He's still in intensive care, I replied.
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    NLyUK is doing a two for one offer at Ashford?

    NLyUK is doing a two for one offer at Ashford?
  9. Hey if they can get it working on just a Tuesday...

    Hey if they can get it working on just a Tuesday it will be one of the most effective government initiatives ever.
  10. Here you go whorty if you are having trouble imagining it!

    http://www.relatably.com/m/img/meme-fat-guy-nerd/best_guy_ever.jpg
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    You need to watch more German porn? (told theirs...

    You need to watch more German porn? (told theirs is a bit out there).
  12. Generally its about control. I worked from home a...

    Generally its about control. I worked from home a lot over the last decade. Some of my bosses were OK with it, others thought I should be in the office regardless, all of my bosses in that decade...
  13. Entirely possible that is a problem the...

    Entirely possible that is a problem the government need to handle.
  14. Companies are already talking about closing...

    Companies are already talking about closing offices and consolidating with fewer staff in day by day. It may finally allow us to move most of our jobs from around London. Whether this will cause the...
  15. Well actually encouraging people to come over to...

    Well actually encouraging people to come over to learn technical English meant plenty of technical jobs went to Eastern Europe, ditto India. Germany & France not so much but it is happening.
  16. Agree completely with that.

    Agree completely with that.
  17. This has happened in every European and first...

    This has happened in every European and first world country I worked with. I used to work for worldwide IT not just the UK. Factories & warehouses were the first to close in any country, then call...
  18. Still is when the goods come from manufacturing...

    Still is when the goods come from manufacturing in "best cost countries". In my experience many of the factories in the EU are being closed or heavily automated if good tax deals are offered. I have...
  19. Was happening down south as well. Not many people...

    Was happening down south as well. Not many people want to work in a warehouse for 10 hours at minimum wage when there are benefits to be had. Either up the wage, drop the benefits or automate.
    ...
  20. Be true Ireland is set to have an unprecedented...

    Be true Ireland is set to have an unprecedented commercial boost.
  21. Hmm do the EU not suffer the same problem or is...

    Hmm do the EU not suffer the same problem or is the deal not symmetrical?

    Are you saying that they don't need a warehouse in the UK anymore or is it just fewer minimum wage agency staff ?
    ...
  22. Replies
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    Sticky: Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get...

    Why did the chicken go to the séance?

    To get to the other side!


    have this picture of Madam Xoxxy with a crystal ball.
  23. So leaving the EU has just made it like exporting...

    So leaving the EU has just made it like exporting to other countries then?

    One hopes you account for sales tax in the US.
  24. You exporting to Ireland or moving your...

    You exporting to Ireland or moving your enterprise to there to avoid tax like so many large American countries?

    Do you need to register to export to the US, China or India? Of course you do.
  25. Their lunch is rapidly disappearing. Apple Pay...

    Their lunch is rapidly disappearing.

    Apple Pay participating banks in Europe and the Middle East – Apple Support

    Banks and partners – Google Pay (UK)
  26. Totally agree we regained our sovereignty,...

    Totally agree we regained our sovereignty, discovered our fish stocks are near extinction thanks to overfishing, how the EU behaves when you dare to disobey and we pissed off a load of remainers.
    ...
  27. Thread: Brexit II

    by vetran
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    390

    Not sure the ladies will want it after they learn...

    Not sure the ladies will want it after they learn where MF kept it warm.
  28. Lovely nice to see the milk of human kindness has...

    Lovely nice to see the milk of human kindness has curdled.
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    Is it easier if your victims are drunk?

    Is it easier if your victims are drunk?
  30. No one. The UK public did vote to leave the EU...

    No one. The UK public did vote to leave the EU which stopped free movement. As 4 million had moved to the UK mainly for low paid work and about a million had moved to the EU for mainly high paid work...
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    Cheer up I had a similar contest with the Dutch...

    Cheer up I had a similar contest with the Dutch and Americans at a conference.

    Two of the three of us were up for the first session at 9am. Pity the American who was supposed to be presenting...
  32. Hey at least he didn't dodge the draft! I am...

    Hey at least he didn't dodge the draft!

    I am sure many of those who are down here will happily acknowledge they would prefer to be in Scotland if there were any jobs.
    Scotland'''s unemployment...
  33. Or so many have left you have an excess of...

    Or so many have left you have an excess of houses?

    Scottish independence: The Scots in England who want Scotland to go it alone - BBC News



    To be fair you are building more homes than...
  34. Why do you think the house prices in the south...

    Why do you think the house prices in the south are so high? Oh yes people live & work there.

    Plenty of synthetic scots who wear a Kilt to weddings but live down here because there are no jobs...
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    aTw so I got you pregnant as well how am I going...

    aTw so I got you pregnant as well how am I going to tell Carrie?
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    Help the BBC with their new nationwide campaign...

    Help the BBC with their new nationwide campaign against paedophilia...


    ....quit paying the Licence Fee.
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    Sticky: Probably best its not nice driving in the snow,...

    Probably best its not nice driving in the snow, its the other idiots!
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    Sorry not being clear, the check is not usable...

    Sorry not being clear, the check is not usable for many purposes. So if you have one for working with children the same check cannot be used for example doing vaccinations or running youth groups....
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    The DBS check process is pants, can't share, the...

    The DBS check process is pants, can't share, the auto renew is tedious etc.
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    who doesn't?

    who doesn't?
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    Handbag

    Handbag
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    Billy Joel was asked in an interview if he had...

    Billy Joel was asked in an interview if he had sampled the lobster from the Seafood Restaurant near his home.
    He replied..."I haven't been there for the Langoustine."
  48. Replies
    7,902
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    I always said that if I ever won on the lottery...

    I always said that if I ever won on the lottery that I would share it with you all on here.


    So I'd just like to share that I've won on the lottery
  49. Replies
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    Me : Can I borrow the new book about Cockney...

    Me : Can I borrow the new book about Cockney swearwords?
    Librarian : You can't.
    Me : Yeah, that's the one.
  50. Replies
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    I passed the river the other day and this guy...

    I passed the river the other day and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. He then asked if I liked his net. Then asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish had caught.


    Then I twigged....
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