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  1. Replies
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    only if you're a presbyterian.

    only if you're a presbyterian.
  2. bladderwort, boiled in virgin vixen's piss, is...

    bladderwort, boiled in virgin vixen's piss, is also efficacious.
    according to big Eric.
  3. Replies
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    Sticky: well, the first 19 years were ok................

    well, the first 19 years were ok................
  4. Thread: Coronavirus in UK

    by BR14
    Replies
    146
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    9,467

    or people who die near rowan trees

    or people who die near rowan trees
  5. Replies
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    Sticky: no

    no
  6. Replies
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    Sticky: i had to save a bee, earlier, on my sitting room...

    i had to save a bee, earlier, on my sitting room window.
    they're thicker than some of the covid and B**t posters on here!
    middle window fixed.
    right window open.
    left window open.
    which window...
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    Sticky: :eek::eek: bloody radical.

    :eek::eek:

    bloody radical.
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    Sticky: :D

    :D
  9. Replies
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    Sticky: and............

    <breath>
    <breath>
    <breath>

    and.........
    <breath>
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    Sticky: a Mac is what you wear when it's raining a Mini...

    a Mac is what you wear when it's raining
    a Mini is a small car or skirt
    Logitech make webcams
    MBA is a gong.


    hth
  11. Thread: Project Fear

    by BR14
    Replies
    24
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    496

    so piss off then!

    so piss off then!
  12. Replies
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    Sticky: :D yes, sorry, it's all this incanting and...

    :D

    yes, sorry, it's all this incanting and assorted wizarding.
    it's permeating my whole existence.

    :nerd2:
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    Sticky: you have to spread it anticlockwise in the...

    you have to spread it anticlockwise in the feeders for that to work.
    naked.
    at midnight.
    on a full moon.

    i have it on good authority, guv, honest.

    :smokin
  14. dancing naked, anticlockwise, around a rowan tree...

    dancing naked, anticlockwise, around a rowan tree at midnight, on a full moon, is a surefire way to get 100% immunity.

    big eric down the pub says so, so it must be true.
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    Sticky: morning :wave: CBS in sunny sarf herts.

    morning
    :wave:
    CBS in sunny sarf herts.
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    Sticky: not stressed, but looking forward to my first...

    not stressed, but looking forward to my first PAID* bank holiday weekend.

    :smokin


    *without actually working
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    ah, the usual load of old bollox from the usual...

    ah, the usual load of old bollox from the usual load of old feckwits then.
    nothing to see here, - move along.
  18. Replies
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    Sticky: cats have kneecaps?? :eek well i never.

    cats have kneecaps?? :eek

    well i never.
  19. Replies
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    yeh, - raab c nesbit FFS.

    yeh, - raab c nesbit FFS.
  20. Replies
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    Sticky: dinner, in a burst of culinary energy, after a...

    dinner, in a burst of culinary energy, after a hard day of mainframe incantations and associated sorcery, has been a chicken and chickpea madras.
    good old mr Patak, may his many and varied gods...
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    can take one down at 25M with a barnett black...

    can take one down at 25M with a barnett black widow :D
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    Sticky: couldn't you have put the empty cans in the bin??...

    couldn't you have put the empty cans in the bin?? litterlout! :smokin
  23. well you would know. bampot. my garden's fine,...

    well you would know. bampot.
    my garden's fine, thanks :D
  24. aye, - right! bampot.

    aye, - right!

    bampot.
  25. :facepalm:

    :facepalm:
  26. sell one of the bentleys

    sell one of the bentleys
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    RF? - his posts are about the same length, and...

    RF? - his posts are about the same length, and just as boring .:smokin
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    maybe the paranoid fekwits are having a day off??

    maybe the paranoid fekwits are having a day off??
  29. Replies
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFbYtVkFDcE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFbYtVkFDcE
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    Sticky: Blue Nun? :D

    Blue Nun? :D
  31. Replies
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    Sticky: morning :wave: damp dreary monday...

    morning
    :wave:

    damp
    dreary
    monday
    knackered.

    all these incantations and general wizardry don't half take it out of an ancient sage.
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    Sticky: pretty much, tfa. i see one of the culprits is...

    pretty much, tfa.
    i see one of the culprits is on hold for a bit, and one of the really annoying twats is gorn.
    good start, only a couple of paranoid numpties left.

    :smokin
  33. Replies
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    Sticky: https://www.contractoruk.com/forums/light-relief/4...

    https://www.contractoruk.com/forums/light-relief/4465-test-please-delete-32564.html#post2753597
  34. Replies
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    Sticky: :wave: still around, if anybody gives a feck....

    :wave:
    still around, if anybody gives a feck.
    still fed up with the sheer level of sh1te spouted by the returnees and some newbys, poisoning every thread with their paranoid krap.
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    no chance. it's what he does. misinformation and...

    no chance. it's what he does.
    misinformation and fearmongering with an overwhelming sense of self privilege is his forte.
    along with his new chums, crashlanding, scobby doo and that janitor twat.
  36. Replies
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    Sticky: Feck you, you piece of sh1t.

    Feck you, you piece of sh1t.
  37. Replies
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    Sticky: dinner was a ragu and penne pasta with grated...

    dinner was a ragu and penne pasta with grated pecorino.

    and a nice rioja. for a change.

    trying to stay upbeat, but this forum isn't helping any more, what with the sheer volume of negativity...
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    Sticky: yah maan. with a red stripe? :smokin

    yah maan. with a red stripe?

    :smokin
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    Sticky: don't get your collar felt. :eek

    don't get your collar felt. :eek
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    Sticky: maybe anybody else is a better cook? just sayin'...

    maybe anybody else is a better cook?
    just sayin'

    :smokin
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    Sticky: morning all :wave: CBSWFB this morning ...

    morning all
    :wave:

    CBSWFB this morning

    wednesday.

    @covbob

    :banana: :banana:
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    you trod on an IED??

    you trod on an IED??
  43. you may as well top yersel noo, then.

    you may as well top yersel noo, then.
  44. and HOW, pray tell, are you going to fix this?...

    and HOW, pray tell, are you going to fix this?
    by wittering on here with all the other twats?
  45. Thread: Transport

    by BR14
    Replies
    96
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    1,459

    and your constant doom laden posts will fix...

    and your constant doom laden posts will fix things? - how?
    STFU or feck off back to mother russia.
  46. Thread: Transport

    by BR14
    Replies
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    1,459

    oh, STFU will you?

    oh, STFU will you?
  47. Replies
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    Sticky: dinner was a fish finger sarnie. wiv HP sauce....

    dinner was a fish finger sarnie.
    wiv HP sauce.
    yum.
    just posted a risque pic in funny pics.
    probably get deleted.
    and i'll get barred.
    still, with the sheer number of newbies spreading doom and...
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    http://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/91414...

    http://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/91414230_2840772809340929_4705823785930981376_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_oc=AQnoiM0RYo6oMyBzfBqBoC6yIYGUcPVUxgjJmhBH6bsmnBoH8aKo6v71wZ97lY1xiZ4CC...
  49. ah FFS! not another one! - gheez.

    ah FFS! not another one! - gheez.
  50. Thread: Panic buying

    by BR14
    Replies
    218
    Views
    6,661

    ftfy

    ftfy
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