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Type: Posts; User: northernladyuk

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  1. The old man has Internal Therapy lessons (Novice...

    The old man has Internal Therapy lessons (Novice to Advanced) on his price list. The blonde wig is extra
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    1,298

    One out of twelve ainโ€™t bad.

    One out of twelve ainโ€™t bad.
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    451

    The old man insists on a fistful of cash.

    The old man insists on a fistful of cash.
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    451

    Cash up front then they can escape if they like?...

    Cash up front then they can escape if they like? Wise woman.
  5. Thread: Yuck

    by northernladyuk
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    13
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    474

    All the better to fist you with, my dear.

    All the better to fist you with, my dear.
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    2,522

    You're older and more miserable and your rates...

    You're older and more miserable and your rates have gone down.
  7. Thread: Sockies

    by northernladyuk
    Replies
    31
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    629

    Hark at her!

    Hark at her!
  8. Don't bring Reading into it.

    Don't bring Reading into it.
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    1,872

    It's very similar if you marry a broad.

    It's very similar if you marry a broad.
  10. She's from Farnworth, so similar setup, except...

    She's from Farnworth, so similar setup, except her fingers are webbed as well.
  11. That would be an upgrade for me.

    That would be an upgrade for me.
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    374

    My advice to you, dear, if you want vetran to be...

    My advice to you, dear, if you want vetran to be a bit more adventurous is to drug him, tie him up and give him a good thrashing first. But make sure you get cash up front. The old man learned that...
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    Don't sell yourself short. I wouldn't call the...

    Don't sell yourself short. I wouldn't call the crew of a chemical tanker next to nothing.
  14. "Stop please. I've learned my lesson."

    "Stop please. I've learned my lesson."
  15. Replies
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    1,907

    That's not sea spray.

    That's not sea spray.
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    1,589

    Ten. The number of digits the old man can fit up...

    Ten. The number of digits the old man can fit up your jacksie.
  17. Replies
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    3,904

    That's a long way down the list of your problems.

    That's a long way down the list of your problems.
  18. Replies
    43
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    1,161

    The old man grew up in a brothel... oh, I see now.

    The old man grew up in a brothel... oh, I see now.
  19. Replies
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    291

    The old man is working through them one at a time.

    The old man is working through them one at a time.
  20. Thread: Balls

    by northernladyuk
    Replies
    5
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    183

    The old man is always ready for Barmy. Easy...

    The old man is always ready for Barmy. Easy access front and back velcro in his lederhosen.
  21. Thread: Balls

    by northernladyuk
    Replies
    5
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    183

    Too right. You're doing it for yourself.

    Too right. You're doing it for yourself.
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    26
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    1,525

    It's always disappointing when one of your...

    It's always disappointing when one of your clients opts for self-service.
  23. Replies
    29
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    1,148

    The crew of a Russian chemical tanker.

    The crew of a Russian chemical tanker.
  24. Replies
    13
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    377

    That's all the old man ever sees of him.

    That's all the old man ever sees of him.
  25. Replies
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    577

    Poll: FOG

    FOG
  26. Replies
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    632

    Cocksniffers.

    Cocksniffers.
  27. Replies
    31
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    1,183

    The old man still has a few legacy clients for...

    The old man still has a few legacy clients for his PEEK AND POKE service.
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    337

    Good attitude. See my sig.

    Good attitude. See my sig.
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    3,372

    I'm starting to question the veracity of the old...

    I'm starting to question the veracity of the old man's CSE certs.
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    The old man turns up at your house in his tooth...

    The old man turns up at your house in his tooth fairy costume and nail guns you to your back door.
  31. Your ex always grossly underestimates a six inch...

    Your ex always grossly underestimates a six inch measurement.
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    338

    She keeps herself busy in the week.

    She keeps herself busy in the week.
  33. That was precisely what they were looking to put...

    That was precisely what they were looking to put a stop to. That kind of thing is reputational dynamite for a contract cleaning company, even in Swindon.
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    528

    We are all merely NPCs in Admin's Covid-fevered...

    We are all merely NPCs in Admin's Covid-fevered wet dream about AndyW's Mum's Weight Watchers class.
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    5,384

    She doesn't have teeth.

    She doesn't have teeth.
  36. Replies
    247
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    5,384

    It's not really full in your case.

    It's not really full in your case.
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    200

    Alimentary, my dear Watson, alimentary.

    Alimentary, my dear Watson, alimentary.
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    471

    Try slipping a fiver under the door next time...

    Try slipping a fiver under the door next time you're in the market for some sweet pooperlovin'.
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    471

    Pooper now trades exclusively in the Thistle...

    Pooper now trades exclusively in the Thistle Hotel Heathrow.
  40. Scooter for rent - about to become legal soon

    Rental scooter is expected to become legal in UK airport hotels from Saturday, in a bid to ease pressure on cocooning sex workers amid the coronavirus crisis.

    The government will set out later the...
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    If you must stalk poor LM, at least try to show a...

    If you must stalk poor LM, at least try to show a bit of class.
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    Steady now. Last time the old man double fisted...

    Steady now. Last time the old man double fisted you, you asked for a free reacharound to compensate for the internal injuries.
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    By the way, your slot discount code is still...

    By the way, your slot discount code is still valid next time you're passing through Wallgate and want a proper seeing-to off the old man.
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    321

    On no I'm not!

    On no I'm not!
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    208

    You love it!

    You love it!
  46. Replies
    3
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    208

    You need to lay off the fisting before you do...

    You need to lay off the fisting before you do your back passage a permanent injury.
  47. We hate you even more.

    We hate you even more.
  48. Replies
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    477

    Ooooh, get her! Sounds as if somebody's got the...

    Ooooh, get her! Sounds as if somebody's got the painters in.
  49. I was planning on doing a cut price version of...

    I was planning on doing a cut price version of this for the old man's client base, but I'm still waiting for the bugger to take a bath.
  50. The pre-nup expires soon and then he's going for...

    The pre-nup expires soon and then he's going for a little swim in the Manchester Ship Canal with his new concrete wetsuit.
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