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    Poll: On the positive side sneeze a few times and say...

    On the positive side
    sneeze a few times and say 'oh f***' in mandarin

    and you wont have trouble getting a seat on your train.:smile
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    OMG. are you lot still here >

    bum bursters. the lot of you.

    ladies excl, obv
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    Poll: The dividend tax will hit me for about 2k a year...

    The dividend tax will hit me for about 2k a year

    so I take out all my cash up to 2k income tax just before April 2016.


    then if I need to bail out of my limited, its all a lot smoother
  4. it was a disgrace.

    it was a disgrace.
  5. phew! thank God that filth got deleted

    phew. that were disgusting
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    at least his 'ead isn't square ...

    at least his 'ead isn't square

    https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR6A3t7d9aEe-7QWTB-Lt3tgszeqv39binVNQ3LAQ211FZ8QVS88Q
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    I am dubious. An executor is not neccessarily a...

    I am dubious. An executor is not neccessarily a beneficiary
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    fyi another interesting thing (as executor),...

    fyi

    another interesting thing (as executor), which I believe is common

    the beneficiaries were disbursed (paid) in two tranches. One when the tax man had ok'd the estate which was about six...
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    sorry about your mum I was executor for my mum...

    sorry about your mum

    I was executor for my mum a few years ago.

    I had to submit an estimate to the tax man and they decided on tax etc. I then resolved her estate over the next year with some...
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    :suicide: render unto Caesar what is Caesars. ...

    :suicide:
    render unto Caesar what is Caesars.
    When EO heard of this scheme, he was amazed and said to those following him, "Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Contractordom with such...
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    Got a smart TV a year ago and had a real 'DOH'...

    Got a smart TV a year ago and had a real 'DOH' moment last week, some obscure format vids off my old camera were on a memory stick and they popped up and played with no problem.
    amazed:glasses
    so...
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    #5 Squirrel sex ...

    #5 Squirrel sex

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CX88SsGWwAAY6-s.png
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    #3 Abuse #4 Being hit on the head

    #3 Abuse
    #4 Being hit on the head
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    #1 AYSYCOTBAC #2 Fat Drunks

    #1 AYSYCOTBAC
    #2 Fat Drunks
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    everyone is redefining the fckng English language...

    everyone is redefining the fckng English language these days. so I am going to have a go

    a socialist is someone who fights for a bigger slice of the cake for his group and pays no attention to...
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    if wit was tit you'd be countersunk

    if wit was tit

    you'd be countersunk
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    OrDie

    OrDie
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    32 ??? :eek: holy moley, they must have it...

    32 ??? :eek:

    holy moley, they must have it tough in Moscow. Has anyone seen AtW ? he still has some handcuffs I lent him
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    My predictions for 2016

    It's the time of year to make New Years resolutions and predictions.

    My predictions for 2016


    #1 Everton will win the premiership by about 6 points.
    #2 ISIS will still be in the news, but...
  20. oh dear. I have a grip here, is it yours ? if it...

    oh dear. I have a grip here, is it yours ?
    if it isn't, go and get one
  21. you say that it's only socialists and scientists...

    you say that it's only socialists and scientists who say the climate changes

    I say you are speaking out of your @rse
  22. can you lift up off your seat please. so I can...

    can you lift up off your seat please. so I can hear you clearer
  23. wow. Delingpole just called pj 'worthless', 'pure...

    wow. Delingpole just called pj 'worthless', 'pure scum' and does not 'deserve the merest scintilla of respect'

    fight fight fight
  24. He's doing ad homs against himself now

    He's doing ad homs against himself now
  25. my brother is a vicar, the main thrust of his...

    my brother is a vicar, the main thrust of his logic (when he does not rely on faith) is that the world is so complicated, and I can't prove how it came about, so it must have been created.

    A...
  26. That will be decided by Everton fans, obviously....

    That will be decided by Everton fans, obviously.

    Politicians will have to do their routine at Goodson Park, the bigger their clap, the funnier they are. Obviously home grown talent will be...
  27. come on DP. you know you had a 'thank god for...

    come on DP. you know you had a 'thank god for atheism' in you
  28. yes. anyone committing parody will be forced to...

    yes. anyone committing parody will be forced to do something useful for a change
    like cleaning the dog-sh!t off the boots of the guy who mucks out the stables after he has traipsed through the pig...
  29. Thank God for Witticism

    In the new world order, rank will be decided by how witty you are.

    sarcasm will be for the lower orders, limericks and funny poems will be the middles classes and word play specialists will own...
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    nah the solution will be raise taxes, control...

    nah

    the solution will be raise taxes, control the masses, world marxist government

    so the next step, identify the problem
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    true. Actually, talking of bets, does anyone...

    true.
    Actually, talking of bets, does anyone have a view on when the greenies will drop global warming and move onto their next fad ?
    does anyone have a view on what that next fad will be ?
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    If the average has risen for 30 years, how can a...

    If the average has risen for 30 years, how can a static year cause the rolling average to fall ?????

    are you thick or what
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    Don't be ridiculous Anyway, in order for this...

    Don't be ridiculous
    Anyway, in order for this year to bring down the rolling 30 year average to below last years rolling 30 year average, we would have to enter an ice age tomorrow.

    you need to...
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    I would take that bet. no problem if he could...

    I would take that bet. no problem

    if he could prove the warming was due to mankind. which he can't.
    the temperatures will rise because of a natural phenomenon known as el nino
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    meanwhile, more bad news...

    meanwhile, more bad news for pj 'mollusc' Clarke


    I hear he has been having sleepless nights over whether to defend the molluscs who will suffer from dredging or the earthworms who suffer when...
  36. Holy Moley

    Holy Moley
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    It's a horrible corner the greenies have painted...

    It's a horrible corner the greenies have painted themselves into, and it 's a horrible mind-set.
    Any good news that comes along makes them extremely unhappy. New ways to attack malaria - they get...
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    and how come you don't accept postal votes ?...

    and how come you don't accept postal votes ?
    it's a travesty
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    The best games

    I used to play a lot of figures games as a lad, then progressed onto Boardgames and now am heavily into computer games.
    I think I am right in saying that all the best games have been developed by...
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    Obviously depends upon how the id is generated...

    Obviously depends upon how the id is generated and this so-called competition excludes people who post from different time zones who get time stamped by the CUK server. which is deeply unfair.
    ...
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    I have a couple of facts that are not in dispute....

    I have a couple of facts that are not in dispute.

    #1 I believe the whole scare is a con, therefore I fly and drive my car.

    #2 They want me to stop flying and drive my car, yet 40,000 of them...
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    stop saying ghastly. only Prince Charles says...

    stop saying ghastly.
    only Prince Charles says ghastly
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    He is not interested in the science or the facts....

    He is not interested in the science or the facts. He is interested in faith and religious mumbo jumbo.

    We all know that warm air travels from the equator to the poles. One of the main transports...
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    I often wonder about beetroot. I want to know...

    I often wonder about beetroot. I want to know which is the least talked about vegetable on the earth.
    And I often wonder if it is beetroot
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    make sure you give her the full talking-to

    make sure you give her the full talking-to
  46. brrrrr. it was cold up there ...

    brrrrr. it was cold up there



    http://i1091.photobucket.com/albums/i383/CUKEternalOptimist/P1000099_zpst0gvpq9v.jpg
  47. well, I understand how anger and hatred can come...

    well, I understand how anger and hatred can come about. often from injustice

    but then I think of the anti-bodies killing a disease in the body.
    and that's what its all normally about, not right...
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    im in love

    im in love
  49. stilted, stilted, stilted. It's the age old ...

    stilted, stilted, stilted.

    It's the age old bollux of making a story good vs evil.

    just like LOR


    life aint like that. its all about choices and fine lines
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    Seeking flat chested bird

    I don't normally advertise for sexual favours on CUK, but..


    I have reading about all these rockers who have been snuffing it recently, snorting coke of birds boobies and stuff

    well I don't do...
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