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  1. Don't get me started on those E-gates. They have...

    Don't get me started on those E-gates. They have a 10% failure rate, and I'm one of the 10%. :tantrum:
  2. I have been to Germany, and there was no...

    I have been to Germany, and there was no paperwork. As an EU citizen, nothing was required. I look forward to filling out a landing form when we finally leave the EU. I will be completing it in...
  3. That's just a whole bunch of letters which don't...

    That's just a whole bunch of letters which don't make much sense...
  4. Fair point. If he said it about me I'd wear it as...

    Fair point. If he said it about me I'd wear it as a badge of honour.
  5. You were next in line, but you failed the...

    You were next in line, but you failed the personality test...:wink
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    Labour fruitcake found in Coventry

    If you're born a sultana...



    What a charming lady. I'm sure the good folk of Coventry South will be queueing up to vote for her.

    Coventry Labour candidate faces 're-interview' over tweets -...
  7. Non-military perhaps, but not for much longer...

    Non-military perhaps, but not for much longer...
  8. I'll humour you, since English clearly isn't a...

    I'll humour you, since English clearly isn't a language you're even vaguely familiar with. An "illegal immigrant" won't have the paperwork to enter a US airport, and certainly wouldn't be able to...
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    Those were the days when you went into a clinic...

    Those were the days when you went into a clinic with a bag over your head. Literally...
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    You crapped yourself when the lion turned up...

    You crapped yourself when the lion turned up though...:wink
  11. You've clearly never spent any meaningful time in...

    You've clearly never spent any meaningful time in a US airport...
  12. Replies
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    I probably am indeed your Dad...:igmc:

    I probably am indeed your Dad...:igmc:
  13. You can't ban Old Smeggy. We'll have to look to...

    You can't ban Old Smeggy. We'll have to look to the Dutch for our new idiot...
  14. Your very pretty German garden may be frozen, but...

    Your very pretty German garden may be frozen, but not much of the UK is...
  15. They won't be alone, they'll still have France to...

    They won't be alone, they'll still have France to rely on. Oh, hang on...
  16. Replies
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    I remember the good old days when an STD was...

    I remember the good old days when an STD was something to do with telephones. I suppose it's all gone full circle, so that if one encounters an STD nowadays, a telephone probably had something to do...
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    So it won't be a terrible shock to find you...

    So it won't be a terrible shock to find you didn't win then...:wink
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    I'll go for the cow. Medium rare, please...:tongue

    I'll go for the cow. Medium rare, please...:tongue
  19. Breaking: Germany grew by 0.1% in the last...

    Breaking: Germany grew by 0.1% in the last quarter

    Break out the bunting...:banana:
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    :tumble:

    :tumble:
  21. Replies
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    Clue: Location Cymru Has that helped?

    Clue: Location Cymru

    Has that helped?
  22. No, I just checked and hell hasn't frozen over...

    No, I just checked and hell hasn't frozen over yet...:wink
  23. It already is. Subscribe to read | Financial...

    It already is.

    Subscribe to read | Financial Times
  24. Replies
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    143,167

    Frank Dobson (ex Labour MP)

    Frank Dobson: Ex-Labour minister dies aged 79 - BBC News
  25. The turnout for the referendum far exceeded that...

    The turnout for the referendum far exceeded that for General Elections, which may explain why so many areas which "ought to have voted remain", didn't.
    They key to TBP winning some of those Labour...
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    Former dictator... Bolivia crisis: Power...

    Former dictator...

    Bolivia crisis: Power vacuum follows Morales' resignation - BBC News

    :wave:
  27. Replies
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    They'd have been saved by 17.4m people sending...

    They'd have been saved by 17.4m people sending 'Happy Brexit Day' cards to each other. You idiot Remainers have condemned them to failure. Shame on you...

    :winker:
  28. Jealous, are we...? Edit: You need to go on a...

    Jealous, are we...?

    Edit: You need to go on a 5 week holiday, we don't want any accusations of Russian interference in our election, now, do we...?
  29. In the last election UKIP were not far short of...

    In the last election UKIP were not far short of an offshoot of the BNP. You cannot draw any parallel between the votes UKIP got in 2017 against potential support for TBP in 2019.
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    Service personnel are trained to take orders from...

    Service personnel are trained to take orders from one source (their superior officers) and to resist brainwashing. They also have a strong sense of patriotic duty, so watching their country being...
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    Poll: Anything but "Lance" which I assume translates...

    Anything but "Lance" which I assume translates somehow as "knobhead"...
  32. Thread: Glasgow

    by Mordac
    Replies
    35
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    1,084

    Are you sure you got on the right train...? :eek

    Are you sure you got on the right train...? :eek
  33. For those without the benefit of subtitles, "she...

    For those without the benefit of subtitles, "she was well chuffed"...
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    Which you clearly didn't...:wink

    Which you clearly didn't...:wink
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    Hopefully your train out wasn't delayed...

    Hopefully your train out wasn't delayed...
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    Do you mean a cross-party of parties who would...

    Do you mean a cross-party of parties who would die in a ditch before endorsing any sort of Brexit?
  37. Thread: Glasgow

    by Mordac
    Replies
    35
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    1,084

    I'm sure you were a great loss to the whole...

    I'm sure you were a great loss to the whole Scottish cultural vibe when you fooked off to Germany.
    Seriously though, apart from the Kelvingrove (which is somewhere on my 'must visit one day' list)...
  38. Thread: Glasgow

    by Mordac
    Replies
    35
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    1,084

    That was money well spent. Did they forget about...

    That was money well spent. Did they forget about England altogether, or are we just on the naughty step?
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    Hope you didn't waste any time writing a speech...

    Hope you didn't waste any time writing a speech...
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    If any of them were suspected of being football...

    If any of them were suspected of being football fans, a whole new set of rules come into play. Next time Plods, suspect one of them of being a football fan, and the world's your lobster...you can...
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    The FTPA is not fit for purpose, and I await with...

    The FTPA is not fit for purpose, and I await with keen disinterest your argument as to how and why it works so brilliantly.
    There's no such thing as a non-political referendum, and if you haven't...
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    Best forum personality?

    Best forum personality?
  43. Replies
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    Excellent. Lock up the scroty little vandals.

    Excellent. Lock up the scroty little vandals.
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    A very neat twisting of my words, hats off to you...

    A very neat twisting of my words, hats off to you for that. My comment was to the effect that how could someone predict that the Supreme Court would invoke a 400 year old ruling to declare a 21st...
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    If they'd been law-abiding, they'd have had no...

    If they'd been law-abiding, they'd have had no impact whatsoever. They want front-page headlines, not a small paragraph at the bottom of page 9.
    I do find it strange that the HC has decided it's...
  46. You do realise you said that out loud...

    You do realise you said that out loud...
  47. Keep your mucky fantasies to yourself...:wink

    Keep your mucky fantasies to yourself...:wink
  48. Replies
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    "Illegally" based on a precedent from the 17th...

    "Illegally" based on a precedent from the 17th century. I agree the choices aren't particularly inspiring, but from the main three, I'd prefer the buffoon over the Marxist and the clinically...
  49. You can borrow a couple of mine: Rick O'Shea &...

    You can borrow a couple of mine: Rick O'Shea & Theresa Green. I can't promise a decent reference, but your pimp might just get the message...eventually...
  50. Thread: QC opinion

    by Mordac
    Replies
    12
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    482

    If we hadn't nicked them, the Germans would have...

    If we hadn't nicked them, the Germans would have them by now...:igmc:
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