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  1. Replies
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    Whoa slow down there, let's not get ahead of...

    Whoa slow down there, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
  2. Replies
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    Nice. No, just pootling about. Latest...

    Nice.

    No, just pootling about. Latest contract a bit dull, more time on my hands.
  3. Replies
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    :rollin:

    :rollin:
  4. Replies
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    Clearly a sought-after position of great...

    Clearly a sought-after position of great responsibility and powah.
  5. Replies
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    2,792

    Aye lad. How's you?

    Aye lad. How's you?
  6. Replies
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    2,792

    Time has flown. Was busy. Now less busy. ...

    Time has flown.

    Was busy.

    Now less busy.

    Slightly.
  7. Replies
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    2,792

    Thrown to the wolves. Oh and :wave: shiny...

    Thrown to the wolves.

    Oh and :wave: shiny happy people.
  8. Replies
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    1,444,871

    XXVMCXXXV

    XXVMCXXXV
  9. Replies
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    Ain't nobody here but us squirrels.

    Ain't nobody here but us squirrels.
  10. Replies
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    9,732

    Watch the lunacy levels in the pro fora please...

    Watch the lunacy levels in the pro fora please chaps. Posts deleted.
  11. Replies
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    2,908

    What's the best way to a mans heart? Between...

    What's the best way to a mans heart?

    Between the 4th and 5th ribs.
  12. Replies
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    Sticky: SunnyInHades for sexist trolling in...

    SunnyInHades for sexist trolling in accounting/legal. 3 day ban.

    :spank:
  13. Please refrain from this sort of sexist behaviour...

    Please refrain from this sort of sexist behaviour in the pro forum, this user has been temp banned for 3 days. Thanks. RH
  14. Replies
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    3,152

    Oh good. I didn't want to faff about.

    Oh good. I didn't want to faff about.
  15. Replies
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    3,152

    Ah, didn't know you were mates. I suppose I can...

    Ah, didn't know you were mates. I suppose I can work out how to unban him but I'm not sure I want to. At least not at the mo.

    Maybe let him sober up first.

    Beautiful looking lamb by the way....
  16. Replies
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    Sod off.

    Sod off.
  17. Replies
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    She's still missing. Latest info from Police is...

    She's still missing. Latest info from Police is she was last seen on CCTV on Thursday at 1423 heading towards Kew. Also that she left home without her travelcard or money. They're also following up a...
  18. Replies
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    Thanks guys. I was pleased to see Jeremy...

    Thanks guys.

    I was pleased to see Jeremy Clarkson tweeted this out to his millions of followers earlier. We've got the attention of a few local high profile ppl too.
  19. Replies
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    I need your help

    Good people of CUK, particularly those of you in London...

    On Thursday, 14yr old Alice Gross left her parents' house in Hanwell W7, and has gone missing.

    Alice is the daughter of a close...
  20. Replies
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    1,302

    Moved, as originally posting this in General...

    Moved, as originally posting this in General wasn't the best idea.
  21. This is why I prefer an electric piano - I can...

    This is why I prefer an electric piano - I can plug the headphones in and Mrs RH doesn't have to listen to me practicing a song 100s of times.

    Excellent playing in the link, appreciated.
  22. Replies
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    17,119

    Cease... no trolling here. That is all.

    Cease... no trolling here. That is all.
  23. Instead of locking this thread, I'm throwing it...

    Instead of locking this thread, I'm throwing it to the wolves in General and out of the pro forum. Have fun.
  24. Replies
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    Tonight: Altruistic community activities....

    Tonight: Altruistic community activities.
    Tomorrow: Community shenanigans at a local fair, helping to set up and the like.
    Tomorrow afternoon: Stag do, where I'll make up for all the goody...
  25. Replies
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    Well that was nice. Bumped into some old friends...

    Well that was nice. Bumped into some old friends and had chateaubriand & cocktails.

    Porn? Classy. I'll be off out again then, don't wait up.
  26. Replies
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    You're awake, excellent. Right, I'm off out to...

    You're awake, excellent.

    Right, I'm off out to get some food. I may be back.
  27. Replies
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    Can someone open the windows please? Right,...

    Can someone open the windows please?

    Right, let's put on some music, OG's passed out.
  28. Replies
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    637

    Is it a suppository? Because half the target...

    Is it a suppository? Because half the target demographic will want you to stick it up your arse.
  29. Replies
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    3,243

    Oh the camel toe? I'm doing the Lion Walk. You...

    Oh the camel toe? I'm doing the Lion Walk. You should try it sometime.

    Can someone put Cojak's clothes back on please?
  30. Replies
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    Here you go old chap. Thanks, don't mind if I do....

    Here you go old chap. Thanks, don't mind if I do.

    Back in Blighty?
  31. Replies
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    *Raises a glass to Doodab* To live in the...

    *Raises a glass to Doodab*

    To live in the hearts of those we leave behind, is not to die.

    Cheers.
  32. Replies
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    I've got the rest of the bottle, but thanks for...

    I've got the rest of the bottle, but thanks for offering.

    Any snacks here?
  33. Replies
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    Sod off. Here, have half a pint of Single Malt...

    Sod off. Here, have half a pint of Single Malt and sit down.

    You can play the accordion for us, and sing sea shanties.
  34. Replies
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    Did somebody mention a party? Who's mixing...

    Did somebody mention a party?

    Who's mixing drinks? There's a truck of booze on the front lawn, couldn't find any parking.
  35. It's not but happy for admin to review and make...

    It's not but happy for admin to review and make it so.
  36. Yep, that crossed the line at some speed. Thanks...

    Yep, that crossed the line at some speed. Thanks for reporting. RH
  37. Replies
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    A generous helping of 1973 Armagnac Castarède, or...

    A generous helping of 1973 Armagnac Castarède, or any half decent vintage Armagnac. In a proper glass.

    Fresh snowfall on a long, undulating piste through breathtaking scenery.

    Purry affection...
  38. Replies
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    Analytical & amiable, according to the bulltulip...

    Analytical & amiable, according to the bulltulip personality test I took the other day.
  39. Replies
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    Sky BB = BT. The only benefit being that Sky...

    Sky BB = BT.

    The only benefit being that Sky will put some pressure on their service provider (BT) to fix it, and BT will prioritise the fix as it's (very marginally) more B2B than B2C. Marginally...
  40. Replies
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    Placeholder for ambulance for eek.

    Placeholder for ambulance for eek.
  41. Swings & roundabouts. I might head back into...

    Swings & roundabouts. I might head back into banking one of these days. They're slightly less mental than meeja.
  42. Replies
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    POTW :yay:

    POTW

    :yay:
  43. Replies
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    Cease.

    Cease.
  44. Replies
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    :happy____:happy :happy____:happy...

    :happy____:happy
    :happy____:happy
    :happy:happy:happy:happy
    :happy____:happy
    :happy____:happy

    :happy
    :happy.:happy
    :happy:happy:happy
    :happy____:happy
  45. NINJA! :laugh

    NINJA!

    :laugh
  46. Replies
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    How to end your career.

    Or at least, confirm you're a twat to those who would otherwise have had no opinion either way:
    Justin Bieber causes outrage after writing 'tasteless' 'Belieber' comment in guest book at Anne Frank...
  47. EXCLUSIVE: Rehearsals begin for Maggie Thatcher's...

    EXCLUSIVE: Rehearsals begin for Maggie Thatcher's funeral:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BHVMJcWCcAAq6YA.jpg

    From: twitter.com/Pundamentalism
  48. RIP Baroness Thatcher. Whatever people may say...

    RIP Baroness Thatcher.

    Whatever people may say about her - I think she did a marvellous job as Meryl Streep in that movie.
  49. Replies
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    Some good ones here. Mumsnet is offering a 1 day...

    Some good ones here. Mumsnet is offering a 1 day course in "The Theory and Practice of Vajazzling".

    April fools' jokes 2013 - the best on the web | Media | guardian.co.uk
  50. Replies
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    It's even funnier if you read one of the serious...

    It's even funnier if you read one of the serious threads in Technical. :laugh
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