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  1. Thread: Raab gone

    by Mordac
    Replies
    9
    Views
    224

    Don't you mean "down the river"?

    Don't you mean "down the river"?
  2. Replies
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    1,902

    If you're a bailiff or an undertaker...

    If you're a bailiff or an undertaker...
  3. Replies
    4
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    219

    Here's a thought. Stop posting crap from the...

    Here's a thought. Stop posting crap from the Graun, and we'll agree to forget that we disagree. :hug:
  4. Replies
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    3,359

    A question science may never be able to explain...

    A question science may never be able to explain...
  5. Replies
    2
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    147

    Nothing to do with his being political plankton...

    Nothing to do with his being political plankton then...
  6. Thread: The Alliance

    by Mordac
    Replies
    10
    Views
    259

    What makes you think I'm a Boris fan? (Clue, I'm...

    What makes you think I'm a Boris fan? (Clue, I'm really not...)
  7. I'm not sure your plan would work. I see myself...

    I'm not sure your plan would work. I see myself as more of a battery penguin. The exams are easier. Not to mention the orifice fits the battery more easily. Plus the evening wear is that bit more...
  8. Thread: The Alliance

    by Mordac
    Replies
    10
    Views
    259

    And if we'd had a PM with something resembling a...

    And if we'd had a PM with something resembling a backbone that might have happened...
  9. Thread: Out of options

    by Mordac
    Replies
    12
    Views
    348

    It doesn't hurt nearly as much when you say...

    It doesn't hurt nearly as much when you say it...:wink
  10. Thread: The Alliance

    by Mordac
    Replies
    10
    Views
    259

    You probably need to stop reading the Graun, they...

    You probably need to stop reading the Graun, they like to play a little game called "clutching at a straw"...
  11. No need for vets, when the food shortages kick in...

    No need for vets, when the food shortages kick in we'll be eating all the sick animals. And some of the healthy ones, if they're tasty enough. Yum...
  12. Replies
    1,239
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    118,337

    Telegraph Tribute...

    Telegraph Tribute
  13. Replies
    1,239
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    118,337

    Indeed, she survived the Nelson. Nelson (cricket)...

    Indeed, she survived the Nelson. Nelson (cricket) - Wikipedia

    :igmc:
  14. Replies
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    936

    When the time comes, you'll find me kipping on...

    When the time comes, you'll find me kipping on one of AtW's sofas, Flat 3, above Squirrel Kebabs, Birmingham.
    I'll put up a hell of a fight, so bring the riot gear and plenty of armed backup.
  15. Replies
    14
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    316

    You're the expert at insulting anyone and...

    You're the expert at insulting anyone and everyone who vaguely disagrees with you, so you tell me...
  16. Replies
    14
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    316

    Trust me, it wasn't meant to be. :smokin

    Trust me, it wasn't meant to be. :smokin
  17. Thread: Out of options

    by Mordac
    Replies
    12
    Views
    348

    Well you do ask for it...:winker:

    Well you do ask for it...:winker:
  18. Thread: Brexit to blame

    by Mordac
    Replies
    8
    Views
    265

    I can't think what you may mean... :laugh

    I can't think what you may mean...

    :laugh
  19. Thread: Brexit to blame

    by Mordac
    Replies
    8
    Views
    265

    Bad reviews on Tripadvisor*, you mean? *You...

    Bad reviews on Tripadvisor*, you mean?

    *You know who you are, and you know what to do...:wink :wink
  20. Replies
    10
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    936

    "Chief People Officer"? That doesn't sound...

    "Chief People Officer"? That doesn't sound remotely sinister...:eyes
  21. Thread: Brexit to blame

    by Mordac
    Replies
    8
    Views
    265

    BS. Patisserie Valerie was down to fraud, Jamie...

    BS. Patisserie Valerie was down to fraud, Jamie Oliver's was down to his BiLs incompetence, Debenhams hasn't gone yet. You can't just make stuff up, and blame something that hasn't happened yet....
  22. Thread: Boris for PM

    by Mordac
    Replies
    12
    Views
    591

    You mean Boris? That was Darmy, that was...

    You mean Boris? That was Darmy, that was...
  23. Thread: Out of options

    by Mordac
    Replies
    12
    Views
    348

    We could always try and export you. I'd pay the...

    We could always try and export you. I'd pay the import tariff at the other end myself. There must be loads of potential takers. Not...
  24. Replies
    14
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    316

    You might have stood a chance when Oliver...

    You might have stood a chance when Oliver Cromwell died in 1658, but the job went to his son, so the first chance we had to have some sort of democratic head of state, we ended up with a hereditary...
  25. Replies
    14
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    316

    Yes. Those who joined the Conservative Party and...

    Yes. Those who joined the Conservative Party and paid the membership fee. It's the same for the Labour Party (and probably all the others, but they're not likely to elect a PM anytime soon). You know...
  26. Quit contracting. Now.

    Quit contracting. Now.
  27. Replies
    60
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    991

    I think the problem with Corbyn is he's a...

    I think the problem with Corbyn is he's a complete Marxist, and Abbott criticised those who sent their kids to private schools, and sent her own son to one. The idea they might have done a bit of...
  28. Replies
    37
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    805

    :laugh

    :laugh
  29. Replies
    37
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    805

    And if you can't do him for that, surely his...

    And if you can't do him for that, surely his particular porky was somewhat bigger than Boris's...and if there's a euphemism in there somewhere, I can't think where it might be...
  30. Replies
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    342

    Has it ever occurred to you that it might just be...

    Has it ever occurred to you that it might just be you that's the problem? Thought not...
  31. Replies
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    33,041

    If that sticker on the door says "Fire Door Keep...

    If that sticker on the door says "Fire Door Keep Shut" someone's been really irresponsible, and probably not for the first time...
  32. Replies
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    2,031

    Nice try, but the only reason I know she doesn't...

    Nice try, but the only reason I know she doesn't use such things is that she'd need to ask me how to set it up. And she hasn't...:wink
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    :confused: Is that a dating app reference, or one...

    :confused: Is that a dating app reference, or one of your disgusting euphemisms...? :eek
  34. Replies
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    2,031

    It's a little unfair of him to emphasise her...

    It's a little unfair of him to emphasise her being fat, while completely ignoring her strongest feature which is being at least an eleven-and-a-half on the Munter Scale...
  35. Replies
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    218

    How long before it's on Airbnb for less...?

    How long before it's on Airbnb for less...?
  36. Replies
    37
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    805

    If you think I'm changing his nappy you've got...

    If you think I'm changing his nappy you've got another thing coming...:frown
  37. Replies
    15
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    342

    You will make sure you're gone by then, I...

    You will make sure you're gone by then, I presume. If you get stuck, let us know and we'll have a whip-round for your bus fare. I apologise in advance for donating three buttons...

    :wave:
  38. Replies
    37
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    805

    'Reds under the bed' was so very fifties though,...

    'Reds under the bed' was so very fifties though, so well done for managing to recycle it as a half-baked conspiracy theory. You're far more in need of some time in that padded cell than I, it would...
  39. Replies
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    805

    FTFY :smokin

    FTFY :smokin
  40. Replies
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    Ditto. RIP.

    Ditto. RIP.
  41. Replies
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    33,041

    You can join in, if you ask nicely...:smokin

    You can join in, if you ask nicely...:smokin
  42. Replies
    575
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    33,041

    Benefits? That's a new word for it...:mad:

    Benefits? That's a new word for it...:mad:
  43. Replies
    575
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    33,041

    Even if the full spec was $6k it would need to...

    Even if the full spec was $6k it would need to come with a free Ferrari to get me even slightly interested. The only good news is they're killing iTunes, which has previously cost me some of my hair...
  44. Replies
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    118,337

    Scored one of the best goals I've ever seen....

    Scored one of the best goals I've ever seen. Against Chel$ki in the FA Cup, 2004. RIP.
  45. Thread: Weekend Thread

    by Mordac
    Replies
    35
    Views
    1,039

    :laugh There's no such thing as an 'impartial...

    :laugh There's no such thing as an 'impartial United fan', and as a Gooner I'm supporting Liverpool.

    PS, no need to trim the wife's bush, I checked yesterday and it's fine...:wink
  46. Thread: for AtW

    by Mordac
    Replies
    7
    Views
    277

    I don't rate their chances when Chris Packham's...

    I don't rate their chances when Chris Packham's mob catches up with them...

    :bluelight
  47. Thread: Bolton

    by Mordac
    Replies
    2
    Views
    185

    Did anyone else think this was going to be a...

    Did anyone else think this was going to be a thread about his lunch tour of northern towns?

    :igmc:
  48. Replies
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    511

    His mother was Scottish, so he's technically only...

    His mother was Scottish, so he's technically only half-foreign.

    :igmc:
  49. Replies
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    386

    Outsourcing. You should try it...:wink

    Outsourcing. You should try it...:wink
  50. They weren't talking about amateur restaurant...

    They weren't talking about amateur restaurant critics. Sorry to pee on your parade...
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