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  1. Replies
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    Congratsicals.

    Congratsicals.
  2. Replies
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    Sticky: Very rare for me to get a PM. Hope I didn't...

    Very rare for me to get a PM. Hope I didn't offend you missus mucky.

    PS Can't be arsed to figure out how to send a PM meself. Busy preparing for a sister invasion. Fortunately I had a good hoover...
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    Thought I read somewhere, can't be a*d to Google...

    Thought I read somewhere, can't be a*d to Google it, that black cabs were doing better than other taxis as safer due to partitions.
  4. Replies
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    I like Chris Rhea. Shouldn't this be in the Light...

    I like Chris Rhea. Shouldn't this be in the Light relief jokes thread?


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDt3u2Ev1cI
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    Yeh. Leave it to atW and SE please mrs mucky.

    Yeh. Leave it to atW and SE please mrs mucky.
  6. Thread: Hurrah!

    by xoggoth
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    4
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    256

    Yeh. Can't say the same of the sex dolls I've...

    Yeh. Can't say the same of the sex dolls I've looked at but they were only about 15 quid.
  7. Thread: Hurrah!

    by xoggoth
    Replies
    4
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    256

    Hurrah!

    Bodybuilder marries sex doll after two years of 'dating' | Metro News

    I may travel to Kazakhstan so I can marry my little puppet parrot.
  8. Replies
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    173

    Has he been shot? BOOM!

    Has he been shot? BOOM!
  9. Replies
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    There could be a programming version of that too....

    There could be a programming version of that too. I won't bother to post it as nobody else will understand Fortran IV.
  10. Replies
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    What PM hasn't been a f* liar?

    What PM hasn't been a f* liar?
  11. Replies
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    799

    Used to have an A3 Brother printer that the late...

    Used to have an A3 Brother printer that the late missus brought for her business. Worked fine except when I got it mixed up with the Brother sewing machine.
  12. Replies
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    799

    Nowt very fancy then. I've got a Canon PIXMA...

    Nowt very fancy then. I've got a Canon PIXMA MG2550, was only about £50. Does all I need. Decent quality. I get cheaper cartridges from cartridgesave, work well. Unlike some other replacement...
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    Should be more like £65,200, apart from temp....

    Should be more like £65,200, apart from temp. seasonal workers and those we really need to drive a high tech. economy.
  14. Replies
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    Another landlord has come up with another excuse...

    Another landlord has come up with another excuse to keep his pub open. By offering a pint called "Substantial Meal".

    Loophole to Tier 2 'substantial meal' rule at Brighton pub | The Argus
  15. Thread: BOOM: Beavers

    by xoggoth
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    123

    Not a rude thread! Darn it. PS Oh I see what...

    Not a rude thread! Darn it.

    PS Oh I see what Mordac meant.
  16. Replies
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    Good idea. I can have a glory hole in the...

    Good idea. I can have a glory hole in the confessional.
  17. Replies
    337,902
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    Sticky: Had a fitness hit today. Always said I'd commit...

    Had a fitness hit today. Always said I'd commit suicide if I couldn't run up my steep road but haven't done it for ages Today I ran up a path which is not as long but even steeper.

    On the down...
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    235

    I'd like a religion where I could get behind too.

    I'd like a religion where I could get behind too.
  19. Replies
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    Sticky: Trying to do summit about reclaiming lost...

    Trying to do summit about reclaiming lost footpaths. Been scanning some docs my local councillor lent me to see what's involved. OCR in OneNote 2016 is really brilliant, translates to text almost...
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    Political leaders really need to be healthy and...

    Political leaders really need to be healthy and younger than 78, even if tenure is only 4 years. Who takes over if he can't carry on? May be a shift in direction, not what people voted for.
  21. Replies
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    Absolutely. I'm coming out of retirement to do a...

    Absolutely. I'm coming out of retirement to do a job for a Nigerian prince. I had to pay £5000 to cover the paperwork but that's nothing compared to the rate I've ben offered.
  22. Thread: Free lunch

    by xoggoth
    Replies
    7
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    291

    Ridiculous! Should be for those who really need...

    Ridiculous! Should be for those who really need it.

    PS Mind you, I've just got my £200 old fart fuel allowance. Hippo Crate.
  23. Replies
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    Sticky: Got sent this by an old uni. mate this morning....

    Got sent this by an old uni. mate this morning. Goon Show. Suitable for ancient old farts only.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tjHlFPTwVk&feature=youtu.be
  24. Replies
    337,902
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    19,358,388

    Sticky: I don't bother to iron things anymore. Wrinkled...

    I don't bother to iron things anymore. Wrinkled clothes suit my complexion.
  25. Replies
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    Sticky: I enquired at a local pharmacy after seeing a...

    I enquired at a local pharmacy after seeing a notice at their door and they did me straight away. Only ever had flu twice in my life. Hope I am equally resistant to this other thing, whatever it's...
  26. Replies
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    Sticky: Off for a toothpaste inspection soon. Fortunately...

    Off for a toothpaste inspection soon. Fortunately got permission from a local school to use their car park when I do a remoter area on Sunday. Doubt they'd have wanted a ghastly old Jimmy Saville...
  27. Replies
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    And he created light 3 days before he created the...

    And he created light 3 days before he created the sun.

    Never quite understand how the old testament relates to the new, and the Christians I know don't either. The message of Christ is pretty...
  28. I much prefer your silly threads to your DOOM...

    I much prefer your silly threads to your DOOM threads. Keep it up.
  29. I'd have thought, given your company, you could...

    I'd have thought, given your company, you could just hack into CUK.
  30. Replies
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    Sticky: Nah. She didn't have any.

    Nah. She didn't have any.
  31. Thread: Fair Cop...

    by xoggoth
    Replies
    29
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    707

    I use those barcode scanners at Sainsburies. Must...

    I use those barcode scanners at Sainsburies. Must admit, it worries me slightly that one could make an honest error by forgetting to scan summit and and get nabbed by one of their random checks.
  32. Replies
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    Yeh. Imagine if a man chucked his young children...

    Yeh. Imagine if a man chucked his young children out of the house forever for doing one thing wrong. God is good?

    More like all religion is b*llux.
  33. You need a ghastly roaring monster for your next...

    You need a ghastly roaring monster for your next avatar.
  34. Replies
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    Sticky: Went to Hever Castle grounds with loony lady 1...

    Went to Hever Castle grounds with loony lady 1 today. Nicer than I thought, quite wild, I hate those heavily manicured places.

    Not been walking with loony lady 2 for a while. I beheaded her.
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    AtW probably uses Rohypnol.

    AtW probably uses Rohypnol.
  36. Is kuatb: one of those Google search things?

    Is kuatb:<site> one of those Google search things?
  37. As an old fart, I am pretty green. I avoid...

    As an old fart, I am pretty green. I avoid wasting water and electricity etc. Although it's more to do the fact that I'm a mean bastard.
  38. Replies
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    Very sensible. It's about time we focused on jobs...

    Very sensible. It's about time we focused on jobs that will drive a more productive high tech economy. Should have happened about 70 years ago.
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    It's just another of those Google Street View...

    It's just another of those Google Street View glitches.

    Google Maps
  40. Replies
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    Sticky: I find it's easier to put the bodies in the...

    I find it's easier to put the bodies in the freezer and have them for lunch.
  41. Replies
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    Sticky: A Google. Why didn't I think of that? According...

    A Google. Why didn't I think of that? According to this, the Marshal was an Eastwood stunt double, Buddy Van Horn, so maybe not surprising I thought it was Eastwood.

    In praise of High Plains...
  42. Replies
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    Sticky: Watched High Plains Drifter last night. Bit...

    Watched High Plains Drifter last night. Bit confusing as the marshal that was whipped to death looked like Clint Eastwood. Thought maybe he'd somehow risen from the dead, expect nobody in the town...
  43. Replies
    337,902
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    Sticky: Damn vandals ruin things for everyone. Went for a...

    Damn vandals ruin things for everyone. Went for a walk with loony lady 1 on Weds round a local lake. Normally you can get good access to it from an area owned by the yachting club but we found huge...
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    Nah, but going to my Satanist ritual tomorrow.

    Nah, but going to my Satanist ritual tomorrow.
  45. Replies
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    Given the circumstances, using the first people...

    Given the circumstances, using the first people he could get hold of for PPE deals was most sensible thing to do.
  46. Thread: One for minnie

    by xoggoth
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    7
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    181

    Nah. Too knackered.

    Nah. Too knackered.
  47. Replies
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    News about poor little dormouse being stuck...

    News about poor little dormouse being stuck really justifies a doom thread. If it was one of many ghastly politicians or celebrities being stuck in a sewer, it wouldn't be.

    Found a mouse stuck in...
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    Sticky: Yuck! For a few years I was always hearing a loud...

    Yuck! For a few years I was always hearing a loud running noise from my en suite shower whenever it rained. Discovered recently the dip tube was missing. Got a detached fortunately, don't share...
  49. Thread: Well...

    by xoggoth
    Replies
    10
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    463

    Why doesn't he start dating SueEllen? they'd get...

    Why doesn't he start dating SueEllen? they'd get on so well. Imagine the conversation on their first date, aTW "Doom", SE "Doom", AtW "Doom", SE "Doom", ATw....
  50. Replies
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    Interesting farticle in the Guardian. Conflicts...

    Interesting farticle in the Guardian. Conflicts between politicians and civil servants are a particular problem in the Home Office:

    Why do so many home secretaries fall out with their officials? |...
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