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  1. Thread: Final DOOM

    by Mordac
    Replies
    10
    Views
    237

    We should be fine for a while. I can't see the...

    We should be fine for a while. I can't see the Four Horseman arriving while we still have a 14 day quarantine policy in place...
  2. Replies
    17
    Views
    368

    The charges will probably be some variation of...

    The charges will probably be some variation of international piracy, so they'll be hanged at Wapping. Wishful thinking, obviously, but they should be looking at 20 years followed by deportation.
  3. Would that figure include penalties/interest?

    Would that figure include penalties/interest?
  4. Replies
    30
    Views
    595

    No, there are thousands of NHS senior managers &...

    No, there are thousands of NHS senior managers & chief executives various, all of which have a clearly defined job description such that none of them are actually responsible or accountable for...
  5. Replies
    9
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    314

    Which happens to be next door to an excellent...

    Which happens to be next door to an excellent seafood restaurant with octopus on the lunch menu daily...:tongue
  6. Replies
    6
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    200

    They were the dogs bollocks, they were... ...

    They were the dogs bollocks, they were...

    :igmc:
  7. Replies
    10
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    648

    The bitter little racist who likes calling...

    The bitter little racist who likes calling everyone else a racist ought to be on your ignore list (he's on mine), but he's occasional comedy gold :laugh
  8. Thread: Give me five

    by Mordac
    Replies
    13
    Views
    340

    Because their senses are working overtime... ...

    Because their senses are working overtime...

    :igmc: :oldgit:
  9. Thread: Fo AtW Boom!

    by Mordac
    Replies
    3
    Views
    129

    How do we know it isn't... :tongue

    How do we know it isn't...



    :tongue
  10. Thread: Fo AtW Boom!

    by Mordac
    Replies
    3
    Views
    129

    On reading the headline, I was wondering how a...

    On reading the headline, I was wondering how a team of drug traffickers had trained flying squirrels to deliver weed. :cool2:
    The story itself is somewhat disappointing...
    :igmc:
  11. Replies
    13
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    375

    But none of them are interested in NLyUKs...

    But none of them are interested in NLyUKs used-undercrackers 'business'...
  12. Replies
    1
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    134

    That was always so going to happen...:rollin:

    That was always so going to happen...:rollin:
  13. Replies
    13
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    264

    Silly sod forgot to put his mobile number on the...

    Silly sod forgot to put his mobile number on the card. :facepalm:
  14. Replies
    14
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    287

    £80 and you don't get a certificate? :tantrum:

    £80 and you don't get a certificate? :tantrum:
  15. Replies
    22
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    733

    It would never have happened in Mother Russia....

    It would never have happened in Mother Russia. They all die quietly in their Dachas (with a little help from the KGB)...

    :suicide:
  16. Replies
    22
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    733

    He doesn't pay for his accommodation, or utility...

    He doesn't pay for his accommodation, or utility bills. He'd probably be able to get by if he hadn't had so many extra-curricular children...
  17. Thread: My Lunch

    by Mordac
    Replies
    13
    Views
    343

    You can have both...:happy ...

    You can have both...:happy

    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQbsCi81UP6sick0_VHZDkH9S4xuXu2KKBK5g&usqp=CAU
  18. Thread: PM: FAO Atw

    by Mordac
    Replies
    4
    Views
    168

    It's missing something...crosshairs..?

    It's missing something...crosshairs..?
  19. Replies
    11
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    295

    My local shop seems to have plenty. If SW London...

    My local shop seems to have plenty. If SW London is too far from you, they deliver free.
    Moores Cycles

    Just in time for another cold, wet, miserable winter...:ohwell
  20. Replies
    58
    Views
    1,341

    Reverse cowgirl it is then...:tongue

    Reverse cowgirl it is then...:tongue
  21. Replies
    58
    Views
    1,341

    Save it. Work trips/client visits aren't...

    Save it.
    Work trips/client visits aren't affected, but if you want to see your friends*, they'll have to come to you.

    *Temptation resisted :D
  22. Replies
    141
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    13,289

    :tumble:

    :tumble:
  23. Replies
    141
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    13,289

    I tried changing the order of the words, and...

    I tried changing the order of the words, and still nothing...:confused:
  24. Replies
    141
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    13,289

    Oh that hurts. :cry1:

    Oh that hurts. :cry1:
  25. Replies
    58
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    1,341

    It clearly doesn't affect you (you ought to know...

    It clearly doesn't affect you (you ought to know if you live in a London Borough or Elmbridge) so why the need to play the idiot?
  26. Replies
    141
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    13,289

    Your 'request' was somewhat 'unusual'...:eek

    Your 'request' was somewhat 'unusual'...:eek
  27. Replies
    58
    Views
    1,341

    Pubs are (generally) not the problem. Distancing,...

    Pubs are (generally) not the problem. Distancing, contact details, table service only etc are quite strictly enforced, from what I've seen.
    The problem is outside pubs, such as large house parties...
  28. Replies
    7
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    403

    Apart from discouraging enterprise in the...

    Apart from discouraging enterprise in the Netherlands, the tax lawyers at Unilever should be able to find a way round it. They would probably need to retain a shell company in Rotterdam, making sure...
  29. Replies
    5
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    208

    What he needs is a world-beating internet search...

    What he needs is a world-beating internet search engine...

    :bang:
  30. Replies
    20
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    576

    I think it'll be many years before there is any...

    I think it'll be many years before there is any sort of queue at Heathrow (and you can make that 'never' if they fix those sodding machine-reader things).
  31. Replies
    20
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    576

    You make it sound like my idea. So just to be...

    You make it sound like my idea. So just to be clear, it is a border, but it isn't?
  32. Replies
    20
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    576

    So we'll be seeing 'Bienvenue en France*' signs...

    So we'll be seeing 'Bienvenue en France*' signs just past Maidstone, will we? There's a difference between an international border and a customs clearance facility, presumably designed for lorries,...
  33. Replies
    20
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    576

    Inland, as in 'just like at Heathrow Airport'?

    Inland, as in 'just like at Heathrow Airport'?
  34. Replies
    15
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    373

    Undertakers, you mean? It's not as if they have...

    Undertakers, you mean? It's not as if they have little else to do at the moment. Will they have this system at pedestrian crossings? Something else to keep the old folks locked up indoors for fear of...
  35. Thread: Long Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
    40
    Views
    986

    That's quite an assumption. And, as with all...

    That's quite an assumption. And, as with all blinkered assumptions, yours is wrong...:wink
  36. Replies
    15
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    617

    Well, that was a waste of a non-disclosure...

    Well, that was a waste of a non-disclosure agreement...:wink
  37. Replies
    141
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    13,289

    One of those tales is actually true...:wink

    One of those tales is actually true...:wink
  38. Agreed, I've met him (James Earl Jones) and he...

    Agreed, I've met him (James Earl Jones) and he was very charming. :nerd2:
  39. Replies
    141
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    13,289

    I worked with him once. He had anger issues (I...

    I worked with him once. He had anger issues (I managed to tease them out of him :wink) but I wouldn't want him to find himself in trouble with a higher power. :bluelight
  40. Replies
    141
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    13,289

    Just so you know, that won't help. :wink

    Just so you know, that won't help. :wink
  41. Replies
    50
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    1,327

    I got this little lot, Sports and leisure...

    I got this little lot,

    Sports and leisure :rollin:
    Hospitality and food :eek
    Beauty and wellbeing :rollin:
    Animal care :eyes
    Computing, technical and digital :facepalm:
  42. Was in danger. Corbyn lost though. Phew...

    Was in danger. Corbyn lost though. Phew...
  43. Thread: Long Brexit

    by Mordac
    Replies
    40
    Views
    986

    Leave the country...oh, hang on...:igmc:

    Leave the country...oh, hang on...:igmc:
  44. Replies
    10
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    418

    "Technically" not her fault, as all of of us real...

    "Technically" not her fault, as all of of us real techies know all too well (if someone is to blame, it will be someone so far removed from the actual coalface that she will have never even heard of...
  45. Replies
    113
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    2,876

    I'm guessing Ebola would be one...

    I'm guessing Ebola would be one...
  46. I think Owly was looking for porn, rather than...

    I think Owly was looking for porn, rather than Proust...:freaky:
  47. Thread: EU Office

    by Mordac
    Replies
    22
    Views
    758

    How many generations are you going back...?

    How many generations are you going back...?
  48. Replies
    2
    Views
    319

    I hope Matt is monetising his idea, e.g. if you...

    I hope Matt is monetising his idea, e.g. if you enter a Northern postcode you will be directed to a local funeral directors with a view to taking out a plan. If not, he's missed a trick, and probably...
  49. Replies
    58
    Views
    1,321

    There are probably easier ways to be £9bn in...

    There are probably easier ways to be £9bn in debt, but don't let that put you off...
  50. Thread: Spreadsheets

    by Mordac
    Replies
    115
    Views
    2,839

    Do you have terrible halitosis?

    Do you have terrible halitosis?
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