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  1. Seriously, nobody gives a flying sh!t about the...

    Seriously, nobody gives a flying sh!t about the price of soy sauce. The point of this thread is whether it's OK or not to gift the contents of UK waters to EU fishing fleets, while receiving nothing...
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    A quality Espresso Martini takes some skill, as I...

    A quality Espresso Martini takes some skill, as I know well (I've had much practice :D) and I don't think SueEllen had that level of finesse...
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    To be fair, you did just confirm that...:wink

    To be fair, you did just confirm that...:wink
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    For a Kensington lass, your standards have sort...

    For a Kensington lass, your standards have sort of slipped. Disappointing...:suicide:
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    I know all that. You know all that. But in my...

    I know all that. You know all that. But in my head SueEllen's morning cuppa is a teabag dipped in a hot mug of Smirnoff. It would explain so much...
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    If you cooked it, almost certainly. If she...

    If you cooked it, almost certainly.
    If she cooked it, show some understanding. She manages to put up with you, after all...:wink
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    What do you need a kettle for? You'll boil off...

    What do you need a kettle for? You'll boil off all the alcohol...
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    You need to get out more. Oh, hang on... :igmc:

    You need to get out more. Oh, hang on...

    :igmc:
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    I'm not Brazilian, if that helps...

    I'm not Brazilian, if that helps...
  10. Understatement of the Year? :eek

    Understatement of the Year? :eek
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    Don't worry, you would have got a virtual...

    Don't worry, you would have got a virtual refund...eventually...
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    You haven't seen the size of the potholes in...

    You haven't seen the size of the potholes in London, I take it. Some are the size of open-cast mines. 4wd is virtually a necessity. If it pisses off the Greens & Unlibundems so much the better...
    ...
  13. Will some of these do you? Campaign |...

    Will some of these do you?



    Campaign | Oceana Europe
    Supertrawlers ‘making a mockery’ of UK’s protected seas | Fishing | The Guardian



    (Underlined text is opinion)
  14. One of the many things "they voted for" was not...

    One of the many things "they voted for" was not to have to throw their catch overboard because EU 'factory boats' had hoovered up all the allocation for some species.
    Once we are finally out of the...
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    Maybe that's why they wanted to play at being...

    Maybe that's why they wanted to play at being sailors?
  16. Thread: Final DOOM

    by Mordac
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    We should be fine for a while. I can't see the...

    We should be fine for a while. I can't see the Four Horseman arriving while we still have a 14 day quarantine policy in place...
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    The charges will probably be some variation of...

    The charges will probably be some variation of international piracy, so they'll be hanged at Wapping. Wishful thinking, obviously, but they should be looking at 20 years followed by deportation.
  18. Would that figure include penalties/interest?

    Would that figure include penalties/interest?
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    No, there are thousands of NHS senior managers &...

    No, there are thousands of NHS senior managers & chief executives various, all of which have a clearly defined job description such that none of them are actually responsible or accountable for...
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    Which happens to be next door to an excellent...

    Which happens to be next door to an excellent seafood restaurant with octopus on the lunch menu daily...:tongue
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    They were the dogs bollocks, they were... ...

    They were the dogs bollocks, they were...

    :igmc:
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    The bitter little racist who likes calling...

    The bitter little racist who likes calling everyone else a racist ought to be on your ignore list (he's on mine), but he's occasional comedy gold :laugh
  23. Thread: Give me five

    by Mordac
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    Because their senses are working overtime... ...

    Because their senses are working overtime...

    :igmc: :oldgit:
  24. Thread: Fo AtW Boom!

    by Mordac
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    How do we know it isn't... :tongue

    How do we know it isn't...



    :tongue
  25. Thread: Fo AtW Boom!

    by Mordac
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    On reading the headline, I was wondering how a...

    On reading the headline, I was wondering how a team of drug traffickers had trained flying squirrels to deliver weed. :cool2:
    The story itself is somewhat disappointing...
    :igmc:
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    But none of them are interested in NLyUKs...

    But none of them are interested in NLyUKs used-undercrackers 'business'...
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    That was always so going to happen...:rollin:

    That was always so going to happen...:rollin:
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    Silly sod forgot to put his mobile number on the...

    Silly sod forgot to put his mobile number on the card. :facepalm:
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    £80 and you don't get a certificate? :tantrum:

    £80 and you don't get a certificate? :tantrum:
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    It would never have happened in Mother Russia....

    It would never have happened in Mother Russia. They all die quietly in their Dachas (with a little help from the KGB)...

    :suicide:
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    He doesn't pay for his accommodation, or utility...

    He doesn't pay for his accommodation, or utility bills. He'd probably be able to get by if he hadn't had so many extra-curricular children...
  32. Thread: My Lunch

    by Mordac
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    You can have both...:happy ...

    You can have both...:happy

    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQbsCi81UP6sick0_VHZDkH9S4xuXu2KKBK5g&usqp=CAU
  33. Thread: PM: FAO Atw

    by Mordac
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    It's missing something...crosshairs..?

    It's missing something...crosshairs..?
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    My local shop seems to have plenty. If SW London...

    My local shop seems to have plenty. If SW London is too far from you, they deliver free.
    Moores Cycles

    Just in time for another cold, wet, miserable winter...:ohwell
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    Reverse cowgirl it is then...:tongue

    Reverse cowgirl it is then...:tongue
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    Save it. Work trips/client visits aren't...

    Save it.
    Work trips/client visits aren't affected, but if you want to see your friends*, they'll have to come to you.

    *Temptation resisted :D
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    :tumble:

    :tumble:
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    I tried changing the order of the words, and...

    I tried changing the order of the words, and still nothing...:confused:
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    Oh that hurts. :cry1:

    Oh that hurts. :cry1:
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    It clearly doesn't affect you (you ought to know...

    It clearly doesn't affect you (you ought to know if you live in a London Borough or Elmbridge) so why the need to play the idiot?
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    Your 'request' was somewhat 'unusual'...:eek

    Your 'request' was somewhat 'unusual'...:eek
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    Pubs are (generally) not the problem. Distancing,...

    Pubs are (generally) not the problem. Distancing, contact details, table service only etc are quite strictly enforced, from what I've seen.
    The problem is outside pubs, such as large house parties...
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    Apart from discouraging enterprise in the...

    Apart from discouraging enterprise in the Netherlands, the tax lawyers at Unilever should be able to find a way round it. They would probably need to retain a shell company in Rotterdam, making sure...
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    What he needs is a world-beating internet search...

    What he needs is a world-beating internet search engine...

    :bang:
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    I think it'll be many years before there is any...

    I think it'll be many years before there is any sort of queue at Heathrow (and you can make that 'never' if they fix those sodding machine-reader things).
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    You make it sound like my idea. So just to be...

    You make it sound like my idea. So just to be clear, it is a border, but it isn't?
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    So we'll be seeing 'Bienvenue en France*' signs...

    So we'll be seeing 'Bienvenue en France*' signs just past Maidstone, will we? There's a difference between an international border and a customs clearance facility, presumably designed for lorries,...
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    Inland, as in 'just like at Heathrow Airport'?

    Inland, as in 'just like at Heathrow Airport'?
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    Undertakers, you mean? It's not as if they have...

    Undertakers, you mean? It's not as if they have little else to do at the moment. Will they have this system at pedestrian crossings? Something else to keep the old folks locked up indoors for fear of...
  50. Thread: Long Brexit

    by Mordac
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    That's quite an assumption. And, as with all...

    That's quite an assumption. And, as with all blinkered assumptions, yours is wrong...:wink
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