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  1. Replies
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    813

    Union Jack knickers work a treat as face masks: ...

    Union Jack knickers work a treat as face masks:

    Coronavirus: Shop owner has bizarre prevention method as virus continues to spread | indy100
  2. Replies
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    1,178

    This corona virus problem will have burned itself...

    This corona virus problem will have burned itself out after max 2 years. Then things will return to normal. The ftse 100 was at 7500 two weeks ago. It's now down 8%. Given that its dividend yield is...
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    Great find! "Survivors is a British...

    Great find!

    "Survivors is a British post-apocalyptic fiction drama television series created by Terry Nation and produced by Terence Dudley at the BBC, that broadcast from 1975 to 1977. It...
  4. How much would it be to tunnel from Euston to...

    How much would it be to tunnel from Euston to Manchester, via Birmingham?
  5. Thread: 1

    by GJABS
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    6
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    237

    06

    06
  6. Thread: Who was this?

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    740

    "Worker status can also be used as a motivational...

    "Worker status can also be used as a motivational tool - top performers can be promoted into full time employment."

    :suicide:
  7. Thread: anyone on here??

    by GJABS
    Replies
    30
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    929

    I did do a gig there once, where the database wot...

    I did do a gig there once, where the database wot I wrote would require a primary key reset after 600 million seconds. Forgot to tell them about it.
    Think it was about 20 years ago :rolleyes:
  8. Result! :yay::yay::yay:

    Result!
    :yay::yay::yay:
  9. Replies
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    Is it a one-way ticket, like the mission to Mars?...

    Is it a one-way ticket, like the mission to Mars? There are a few people I'd like to nominate :rolleyes:
  10. Replies
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    You're tempting fate there a bit geezer :eek

    You're tempting fate there a bit geezer :eek
  11. Where did you have that done, if you don't mind...

    Where did you have that done, if you don't mind me asking?
  12. Thread: Javid resigns

    by GJABS
    Replies
    91
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    5,815

    I might be :p

    I might be :p
  13. Well there IS another site ending with ..work...

    Well there IS another site ending with ..work that pays very good rates to adults. I better not name it, as it's NSFW :p
  14. Thread: Javid resigns

    by GJABS
    Replies
    91
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    5,815

    Farage doesn't have power, he has influence. ...

    Farage doesn't have power, he has influence.

    Cummings only has power because Johnson (elected) is PM.
  15. It is not a R35 protest, it is an IR35 protest. ...

    It is not a R35 protest, it is an IR35 protest.

    Here's the link:

    Senior IT Workers Pack Bags, as IR35 Research Shows Distrust of HMRC

    "Campaigners against the change are planning a protest...
  16. I wonder whether you can open an account with...

    I wonder whether you can open an account with them - and then wait for them to offer you the same deal to go?
  17. Replies
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    Isn't it traditional for newly elected...

    Isn't it traditional for newly elected governments to hike up taxes in the first year or two, in order to then bring them down again before the next election? Votes have short memories.
  18. Replies
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    There's a lack of decent jokes about this out...

    There's a lack of decent jokes about this out there. The best one I've seen, is:

    "Philip Schofield has come out as grey"

    which works. Just..
  19. Yes, if it is for safety reasons.

    Yes, if it is for safety reasons.
  20. Replies
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    You like a ram's bottom? Join the club :wink ...

    You like a ram's bottom? Join the club :wink

    To answer your question, no I've never heard of any such database. Given the independence of agencies from each other, and even the independence of...
  21. Replies
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    1,204

    I don't mind, myself. The more blokes on here the...

    I don't mind, myself. The more blokes on here the better :tongue
  22. Thread: Thursday's WTAF?

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    1,806

    OK I take your point. Position of trust -...

    OK I take your point.
    Position of trust - Wikipedia
    does say that being in "government" can constitute being in a position of trust.

    Naughty boy - should have kept his pants on, at least until...
  23. Thread: Thursday's WTAF?

    by GJABS
    Replies
    32
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    1,806

    Haha you only need to google image search for...

    Haha you only need to google image search for "twink" porn, to see that in that age bracket 18-23 they -definitely- don't look like children :tongue
  24. Thread: Thursday's WTAF?

    by GJABS
    Replies
    32
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    1,806

    I'm 49 and would not kick out of bed a 16 year...

    I'm 49 and would not kick out of bed a 16 year old. In what way do you feel that it is is inappropriate?

    If politicians felt that it is wrong for an older guy to chase (consensually) a much...
  25. Thread: I'm Spartacus!!

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    254

    They're all lying - he's one of us :p ...

    They're all lying - he's one of us :p

    https://www.contractoruk.com/forums/members/spartacus.html
  26. Thread: Streatham

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    1,014

    Well OK I mean the response of the police in a...

    Well OK I mean the response of the police in a broader sense of the word. The fact that the police had a team monitoring him was clearly the correct thing to do, and shows the police are getting...
  27. Maybe their algorithms, machine learning...

    Maybe their algorithms, machine learning algorithms perhaps, only rarely see 99 people all in the same square foot - so they don't see it as artificial and a candidate for rejection?
  28. A bit of peace and quiet in his neighbourhood....

    A bit of peace and quiet in his neighbourhood. Good for property prices, that :p
  29. Thread: Streatham

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    1,014

    Sounds like the rozzers are getting a handle on...

    Sounds like the rozzers are getting a handle on the this type of local terrorism - all credit to them.
  30. Replies
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    I wouldn't think a woman would want to date a...

    I wouldn't think a woman would want to date a contractor. They'd want a bloke with one that -expands- when they hookup with them.. :rolleyes:
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    Poll: Good point - I think I'm going to have to lay off...

    Good point - I think I'm going to have to lay off the habit for the next few weeks. I've already got a cough, and promiscuous gay men are excellent vectors for spreading disease.

    My parents are...
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    That's a bummer :ohwell Still, I think that the...

    That's a bummer :ohwell
    Still, I think that the private sector ir35 thing is likely to produce some opportunities - if you are able to move fast, which being on the bench will enable you to do.
  33. Replies
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    It's spin. So after the referendum "we didn't...

    It's spin. So after the referendum "we didn't know what we were voting for". Now, after the Tory win in the election, "satisfaction with democracy low".
    I wonder whether they'll make it a hatrick if...
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    He hosted "Sale of the Century". Well, at 96...

    He hosted "Sale of the Century". Well, at 96 years of age, he nearly made his century. RIP Nick :(
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    Do they accept emoji entries? Here's mine: ...

    Do they accept emoji entries? Here's mine:

    :cretin::cheers:
    :cool: :moon:
  36. Thread: Boomed

    by GJABS
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    :banana::banana::banana2::banana2::banana:

    :banana::banana::banana2::banana2::banana:
  37. Replies
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    Maybe he is. But I shouldn't be getting a ban...

    Maybe he is. But I shouldn't be getting a ban from Facebook for expressing support for him. Ridicule, maybe, but not a ban :)
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    Facebook is getting absurd in its moderating. I'm...

    Facebook is getting absurd in its moderating. I'm currently on a 56 day ban on "going live" with them, for posting "Tommy Robinson - patriot", and " Tommy Tommy Tommy! lol" on The Independent's...
  39. What was their sin?

    What was their sin?
  40. I would be more than happy to buy the permies a...

    I would be more than happy to buy the permies a round of beer. I've been alcohol-free for the past 3 years, so they'll enjoy Heineken zero and Becks blue by the bucket full on me.

    But then I'll...
  41. Replies
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    And what about if the 5 people are members of...

    And what about if the 5 people are members of this forum?
  42. The thing is, how do you know that it is stupid?...

    The thing is, how do you know that it is stupid? You, as a lowly contractor, don't have the big picture - it might actually make sense to do it that way.

    An example of this, is the following: In...
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    Gee, such negativity. You lot need to get some...

    Gee, such negativity. You lot need to get some nookie..
  44. Replies
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    If he was a top sh*gger, the lady wouldn't need a...

    If he was a top sh*gger, the lady wouldn't need a dildo, surely?
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    That'll be from the dog on the 80's TV show...

    That'll be from the dog on the 80's TV show "That's Life" (from 1:37). Not particularly funny, in my opinion, but very memorable for some reason:


    .
  46. Replies
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    I love a bit of brown sauce on my sausage lol

    I love a bit of brown sauce on my sausage lol
  47. It's alright, Big Sam is stepping into the...

    It's alright, Big Sam is stepping into the breach, as caretaker princess..

    Sam Allardyce to step in as caretaker princess for rest of season - The Rochdale Herald
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    Noooo! not another one leaving.. I read...

    Noooo! not another one leaving..




    I read that to mean dogging, in a field.

    Cheerio! :tongue
  49. Thread: Merry Christmas

    by GJABS
    Replies
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    621

    Workhouses? Isn't that another name for...

    Workhouses? Isn't that another name for Amazon.co.uk distribution warehouses?
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    Don't give them ideas! :tantrum:

    Don't give them ideas! :tantrum:
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