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    This morning after the news crew had finished...

    This morning after the news crew had finished with us, I took her to buy a new iPhone 5.

    See, I do know how to look after a lady proper like.

    But I'm obviously a bit too busy now to stay and...
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    Why thank you everyone for your good wishes. :D ...

    Why thank you everyone for your good wishes. :D

    (I have been asked to login and deny that I am also posting as cojak. ;))
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    Already exists and you're about 30 years or so...

    Already exists and you're about 30 years or so late.
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    Oh, that brought the taste memory of gud knows...

    Oh, that brought the taste memory of gud knows what it was in brown bean sauce flooding back.

    I have a cunning plan: I shall try to replicate it, girly'll wander into the kitchen, 'whatcha...
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    Today one of my students: My Today Sex Toy is A...

    Today one of my students: My Today Sex Toy is A Leather Whip

    And one of my co-workers: My Today Sex Toy is A Pink Mask
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    What has been seen cannot be unseen! ...

    What has been seen cannot be unseen!
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    Tuesday 27th Of July!

    Buuulllliiiiiitttttt!
  8. It was stuff for several bridges in the process...

    It was stuff for several bridges in the process of being built some ways from here, they're widening and extending motorways. Bridge building man was surprised they'd travelled so far.

    He was...
  9. The believer who does righteous deeds receives a reward in this world.

    One of the access roads to my farm has a little spur that takes one to some wells. It is out of the way, so it is used by dog walkers, drug dealers, car thieves, etc.

    Girly saw something going off...
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    The 'voices' told him to do it. :eek:

    The 'voices' told him to do it. :eek:
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    I think it just shows just how incredibly naïve,...

    I think it just shows just how incredibly naïve, arrogant and inept the whole shower were.

    And yet the sheep still voted for them. Baaaaaaa.
  12. Hope it doesn't come with a square steering wheel...

    Hope it doesn't come with a square steering wheel too!
  13. And the remote control takes up an entire LWB...

    And the remote control takes up an entire LWB Land Rover! They should have a word with the Japanese about miniaturising that.
  14. Isn't that the alleged UFO that crashed into a...

    Isn't that the alleged UFO that crashed into a windmill last year?
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    Yep, that's mine too. Usually goes down really...

    Yep, that's mine too. Usually goes down really well with clients. Them it doesn't work on were with projects that were doomed to fail anyway, so it's two birds with one stone!
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    I don't think it is individual police officers,...

    I don't think it is individual police officers, but rather the brain dead procedures they have to follow.

    Unfortunately most people can't distinguish between a person and their job in the UK, so...
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    NSFW Ugens fiskepige...

    NSFW
    Ugens fiskepige
  18. Nah, that is the crux of the story: the Swiss...

    Nah, that is the crux of the story: the Swiss court wanted to see the paperwork from the American court where this version of events is given, but the yanks won't, 'cause it probably doesn't exist. ...
  19. The question though is more complex: get off what...

    The question though is more complex: get off what exactly?

    He was sentenced and served his sentence.

    The judge then changed his mind and tried to up the sentence, but he'd already left the...
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    Do you like Marbella? Often webby jobs down...

    Do you like Marbella? Often webby jobs down there.
  21. Replies
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    I never really wanted to be a policeman, you...

    I never really wanted to be a policeman, you know. I mean, they told me while at school, if I got two CSEs, when I left school I'd be head of British Steel. That's a lot of nonsense, ennit? I mean,...
  22. Or more commonly commit suicide which is what...

    Or more commonly commit suicide which is what happened to one quite dedicated, but far too sensitive, guy I know.
  23. Replies
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    Avoid.

    Avoid.
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    No, professional politicians are amongst the...

    No, professional politicians are amongst the worst fsckwits going when it comes to security.
  25. Replies
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    Have you any AeroSpace? Languges? etc.?

    Have you any AeroSpace? Languges? etc.?
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    Actually you're quite spot on with that...

    Actually you're quite spot on with that comment...:bluelight

    In one branch of the 'law enforcement industry' the New Lie made it, if not illegal, very uncertain if it was, to do certain types of...
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    And being called Herr Doktor at work causes the...

    And being called Herr Doktor at work causes the girlies to send you naked videos of themselves, it's a scandal.
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    Does seem a quite unfair exchange: we send back...

    Does seem a quite unfair exchange: we send back an assortment of femme fatales, and they send us ... Igor. :ladybags:
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    I know the people who did the Tate Modern's...

    I know the people who did the Tate Modern's wooden flooring if you want to go that route.
  30. http://andsoiwasthinking.files.wordpress.com/2008/...

    http://andsoiwasthinking.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/the-simpsons-nelson.jpg
  31. Replies
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    I get that, usually really fit, mostly early 20s,...

    I get that, usually really fit, mostly early 20s, often totally naked, sometimes they're MMS (short movies) involving props.


    You'd be wrong...

    I've not found anything to put them off, and...
  32. Replies
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    Yes, 'reassuringly expensive' is the way to make...

    Yes, 'reassuringly expensive' is the way to make it without working quite as hard as he apparently has.
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    Well, there's Footy and the Tour de France to...

    Well, there's Footy and the Tour de France to fill up most of the news, so I don't think they'll catch him until after the final and the TdF has calmed down.
  34. It's what happens: druggy comes up to you in the...

    It's what happens: druggy comes up to you in the street 'spare us a bit of cash for a cup of tea', next thing you find they're squatting in your shed/garage/house, and if you ask why, they'll say you...
  35. There's being open-minded, and letting people do...

    There's being open-minded, and letting people do what they want 'behind closed doors', but my experience tells me that when a user reaches the stage of irritating the neighbours then they are already...
  36. :rollin: Bejeesus, have none of you lot ever...

    :rollin: Bejeesus, have none of you lot ever lived in the real world, or you just trolling?

    If you even talk to an addict they take that as permission to break in.
  37. No. You've blown your chance. For future...

    No. You've blown your chance. For future reference if you suspect someone is dealing etc. when you report them, make it a good few months after you've moved in, preferably a couple or so days...
  38. I use Octave...

    I use Octave quite a lot, but that's only because that client would rather pay for a body to fill the gaps than buy MatLab.
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    Newcastle is the only castle to not know where ...

    Newcastle is the only castle to not know where it's Moat is.

    :rollin:
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    doubled

    doubled
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    Oh that reminds me: I haven't put that I've now...

    Oh that reminds me: I haven't put that I've now got 'Super Truck' on.
  42. Replies
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    Mine are!

    Mine are!
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    Oh, a second letter!

    Oh, a second letter!
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    Honesty may be the best policy, but it's...

    Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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    There's way more than enough for everyone to have...

    There's way more than enough for everyone to have a decent life. It is just that many in the west want way more than enough just for themselves.
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    I thought it was an episode from 'All Creatures...

    I thought it was an episode from 'All Creatures Great and Small' where CM was a rather good interpretation on Lynda Bellingham's character.
  47. Replies
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    :spel FTFY

    :spel

    FTFY
  48. Replies
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    So many sockies, so little time. :nerd

    So many sockies, so little time. :nerd
  49. Replies
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    Yeah, like all these ex-ministers get them nice...

    Yeah, like all these ex-ministers get them nice cushy directorships and non-execs on merit, and high paying world speaking tours because people want to hear what they think, especially as it doesn't...
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    What is immoral about it? It is just business. ...

    What is immoral about it? It is just business.

    You have a company, tell politico they can have a nice juicy directorship in it when they leave office, show them you have the money to pay to keep...
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