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    I intend to try harder ladymuck. This is just a...

    I intend to try harder ladymuck. This is just a placeholder.

    In recent years, I've only had one 24 hour ban on another forum for purchasing a vinyl clock from another forum member. The rules...
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    I may not be potty trained but I can squat over a...

    I may not be potty trained but I can squat over a pen and pick it up with my buttocks in a boardroom.

    Have you ever fallen for the "attractive woman drops a pen" sales technique? I'm a sucker for...
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    At long last? I only joined yesterday. Thanks...

    At long last? I only joined yesterday.

    Thanks for the friendly welcome ladymuck.
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    Prepare for the worst expect the best.

    Prepare for the worst expect the best.
  5. Just beware when you kick me in the bollocks....

    Just beware when you kick me in the bollocks. They're made of steel.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJ4Ol9Tb1D0
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    Nervous newbie sat on the bench

    Some of you may have seen me around the boards already, I try to keep a low profile.

    I'm an electronics engineering consultant who specialises in nuclear safety, software assurance and safety...
  7. shaunbhoy I've put that into google translator...

    shaunbhoy

    I've put that into google translator and I'm getting nothing. I'm sure it's really witty or perhaps an in joke.


    In case you've never had the experience, you have to stand two...
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    Please stop all that twunking, it tickles....

    Please stop all that twunking, it tickles. :rollin:

    NotAllThere fair point regarding being delusional. I'm thinking of standing against Mr Speaker in the general election because his seat will be...
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    Once in my life. No one's ever called me twunt...

    Once in my life. No one's ever called me twunt before.
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    I've been called disingenuous twice in the last...

    I've been called disingenuous twice in the last month and I'm still scratching my head about the first time... someone was having a go at a consultant doctor about the way the Dr conducted herself. I...
  11. It took 6 months for me to get my SC renewed back...

    It took 6 months for me to get my SC renewed back in 2015. Heaven forbid what would happen if I applied for DV. How on earth would I juggle that one around in contracting?

    UKSV are really...
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    vwdan it's always best to have a plan or target...

    vwdan it's always best to have a plan or target and it's shame you can't spot the diamond in the rough.

    I'll happily go open book on the forum if I manage to pull this one off :winker:
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    vw Thanks for trolling my thread. Now run...

    vw

    Thanks for trolling my thread.

    Now run along you cheeky chappie. :igmc:
  14. Thanks NotAllThere Your answer instils me with...

    Thanks NotAllThere

    Your answer instils me with a degree of confidence in the way you go about your moderating.

    You've gone off on a slight tangent with respect to "hate speech". I was...
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    Dehumanisation is a psychopathic trait. Or are...

    Dehumanisation is a psychopathic trait. Or are you trying to be funny?

    One man's dull is another girl's ray of sunshine.
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    I think this is a misunderstanding. You had...

    I think this is a misunderstanding.

    You had your L plates on too in the early days.
  17. You're not the first person to suggest that, I do...

    You're not the first person to suggest that, I do wonder about these agents but I'm new to this. My status in the draft contract in terms of ltd or umbrella is TBD. Am I doing something wrong here?...
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    You lot amuse me. I should probably do an...

    You lot amuse me.

    I should probably do an introduction as a newbie but I saw that I had no reputation. I couldn't just stand back and do nothing. Is there an intro board on here? It's a big...
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    I don't understand why you don't think my thread...

    I don't understand why you don't think my thread is genuine. Please could you clarify?
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    And Badda Bing Badda Bang Badda Boom!!!! ...

    And

    Badda Bing Badda Bang Badda Boom!!!!


    Back on topic, do we have an organisation chart?
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    1969 man walks on the moon 1972 man walks on...

    1969 man walks on the moon

    1972 man walks on the moon, again.

    Then nothing happened for a while until now...

    ...the ego has landed and moneybags is entering the contracting arena.
  22. Yes, I have a contract. It's work that requires...

    Yes, I have a contract. It's work that requires security clearance so I'm waiting for my SC to transfer and the agent has said it will take a month. Also the client shuts down over Christmas. I am...
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    I'm trying to sort out most of the paperwork...

    I'm trying to sort out most of the paperwork today CryingSheep but Larsen Howie are not going to be able to get back to me on their IR35 review until next week.

    The contract has a 1 week notice...
  24. Whatever turns you on BR14... :wink

    Whatever turns you on BR14... :wink
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    I have no idea what any of you are talking about....

    I have no idea what any of you are talking about.

    Could somebody please take me to your leader?
  26. Gotcha! Honestly, I'm not power hungry or...

    Gotcha!

    Honestly, I'm not power hungry or mercenary. I have sympathy when you get emotional but will stay calm and profession (even on general). However, on the inside I'm clenching my fist like...
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    Who’s in charge?

    I’m new here so I have absolutely no chip on my shoulder. I’m just curious to know about the structure and governance of the forum. I’m not in the finance, legal or public sector so my terminology...
  28. Thanks Whorty, I'm not particular sensitive...

    Thanks Whorty,

    I'm not particular sensitive and I'm not taking anything personally. It's morbid curiosity.

    I like to see where the boundaries are and how those who enforce the rules determine...
  29. Thanks for the clarification, NotAllThere I'm...

    Thanks for the clarification, NotAllThere

    I'm genuinely not looking to rattle moderator cages and sometimes my own SOH is wide of the mark. However...

    There are laws about what you can and...
  30. Lance, I'll admit that it was not a deliberate...

    Lance, I'll admit that it was not a deliberate typo and I'm not dyslexic however my disability can affect my ability to spot typos.

    Luckily for me there are plenty of bods out there who can proof...
  31. Yes, northernladuk, that was my logic initially...

    Yes, northernladuk, that was my logic initially but then I thought I'd put the question to the DWP while I am eligible to claim so my position is 100% legit.

    It appears that permitted work is...
  32. To be fair, I had a point northernladuk. Or is...

    To be fair, I had a point northernladuk.

    Or is it okay to suggest manic people want to kill? Is it appropriate to even joke about that?

    I happen to have Bipolar Disorder and I've never...
  33. What do you have to do to get banned? I need to...

    What do you have to do to get banned? I need to read the house rules carefully.

    I see there is a name and shame thread for banned members. Nice, I've never seen that on a forum before. A good old...
  34. Ahh, just spotted this: Permitted Work...

    Ahh, just spotted this:

    Permitted Work (Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)) - Turn2us

    I need to get my head around "permitted work".
  35. Thanks ladymuck I've not set up yet because I...

    Thanks ladymuck

    I've not set up yet because I don't want to miss out on my £500 if it turns out you can't claim but I would really like to set up asap. I spoke to a woman today at the job centre...
  36. It's a little bit tongue in cheeky Amanensia but...

    It's a little bit tongue in cheeky Amanensia but it's not a wind up. I have a satirical type SOH but the numbers are genuine.
  37. I'm a Contractor... what can I claim off the state?

    I'm a disabled contractor so I'm eligible to claim Personal Independence Payment (PIP) as a non means tested benefit. I'm currently claiming out of work benefits for 6 weeks in the run up to my...
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    Thank you all CryingSheep I am pushing to get...

    Thank you all

    CryingSheep I am pushing to get determination but it's a big company. The agent says they determine status on a individual contractor basis. It's very much project by project work...
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    Lance, Rest assured the settlement agreement...

    Lance,

    Rest assured the settlement agreement was pored over by employment solicitors. Left by "mutual consent" can mean whatever you like...

    Correction: that's "mutual termination".

    And for...
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    Thanks for the replies. Okay, technically you...

    Thanks for the replies.

    Okay, technically you are right about the £30K, tax on VAT and pension (10K of which would not offset corporation tax) but this would be the personal tax return of the...
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    86% Take Home Pay (Totally Legit)

    Caveat: I’m new to contracting so there may be a mistake in here somewhere.

    Here’s the November to November plan:

    1) Answer the call from D Odgey Umbrella co., laugh down the phone and say you...
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