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  1. Replies
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    Sticky: Thank you kindly, furry one. :-)

    Thank you kindly, furry one. :-)
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    But a thread worth resurrecting. Some things...

    But a thread worth resurrecting. Some things never change.
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    Sticky: Likewise up here in the grim Northern Powerhouse....

    Likewise up here in the grim Northern Powerhouse.

    But I totally missed the sunrise. I've only just got up and I've a blinding hangover. I'll try a hair of the dog with some contractor's pop...
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    Sticky: Another thing which, when DuckDuckGoed for, only...

    Another thing which, when DuckDuckGoed for, only appears on CUK's TPD.

    What a funny old world this is.

    Happy Solstice, peeps.
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    Sticky: Very kind of you to say so. And greetings to...

    Very kind of you to say so. And greetings to you, small furry ape of the most pleasant kind. :happy
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    Usual discussions on here, then. Fake LinkedIn...

    Usual discussions on here, then.

    Fake LinkedIn profiles are a menace. They have such a bad reputation that Tchut nee Spune has lost 1,100 connections this past year and now only has 7,796...
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    This thread is in "Accounting / legal", BTW.

    This thread is in "Accounting / legal", BTW.
  8. Getting paid: from the contract terms to the CCJ

    To paraphrase Kevin Bloody Wilson:

    <mod snip>

    [As criticism of the above appears, I'll amend it. Or maybe delete the whole thing in a strop.]


    No. admin
    Bedwetter ! MF.
  9. When Plexus / Plexian went bust many years ago,...

    When Plexus / Plexian went bust many years ago, we all were in agreement that at the first sign of an agency getting into trouble one should stop submitting invoices.

    ClientCo kept paying the...
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    I managed two pints of water this evening - which...

    I managed two pints of water this evening - which went straight through me.

    Ooh, I do feel rough.

    Still, with a bit of luck I should have lost some weight.
  11. Don't ask, don't get. Yes, I'd have a chat...

    Don't ask, don't get.

    Yes, I'd have a chat with the agent and work with them to help them increase their commission by getting your rate increased.

    Don't get shirty with the agent - this is an...
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    :eek: Really? I just thought I was the last...

    :eek: Really?

    I just thought I was the last one to get the joke!
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    Sticky: :wave: It'll be barren without you. Perhaps...

    :wave:

    It'll be barren without you.

    Perhaps SuitYou01 can be seconded to move in?

    TPD would have been a natural home for Suity, if only The Régime hadn't murdered the poor thread and buried...
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    Sticky: :banana: Never let it be said I don't have it in...

    :banana: Never let it be said I don't have it in me. :D





    Whatever "it" is. Which at the moment would appear to be gastroenteritis or some such.
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    Sticky: Not any more. The days when clients or agents...

    Not any more.

    The days when clients or agents told you you have not been successful are over. Only the successful candidates get told now.

    If you've heard nothing ... it has gone away.

    Yep....
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    I think that was it - the 2 month old fruit. I...

    I think that was it - the 2 month old fruit.

    I just tried forcing down a bowl of cereal and only just made it to the loo in time.

    I had no idea it was physically possible for stuff to go...
  17. 3 bamboo canes, bunged in the ground, pointing...

    3 bamboo canes, bunged in the ground, pointing toward one another and meeting 6" from the top, bit of gardening twine, done.
    ...
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    Before I read that, I was already feeling really...

    Before I read that, I was already feeling really rough and sick. This is fortunate, as it meant I was already 95% of the way to how that post made me feel. :sick
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    They covered this on the World Service in...

    They covered this on the World Service in reasonable detail yesterday.

    There was the Ryan Air bloke complaining bitterly about CAA's incompetence preventing Ryan Air from flying. He said Ryan Air...
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    Sticky: Have you checked down the back of the sofa?

    Have you checked down the back of the sofa?
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    The Official CUK Remorse Thread

    With regard to yesterday evening, I apologise most sincerely for whatever I did and I take back anything I said that needs taking back. Any views expressed were those conjured up in a haze of...
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    Sticky: Also boring is when your pissed, but there's...

    Also boring is when your pissed, but there's nobody to spar with. :(

    I'm going to bed. About 3 hours earlier than I thought I would. :mad:

    Oi, Zeity! You've got about 6 weeks to give the...
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    Tulip, tulip, tulip. Advice to you all. Do...

    Tulip, tulip, tulip.

    Advice to you all. Do NOT attempt to do double accounting when pissed.

    I meant to post, from me, that SimonMac is an arselicker for sucking up to me.

    Sorry. I shall go...
  24. No. Scots do not act more violent. Scots...

    No.

    Scots do not act more violent.

    Scots ARE more violent. That's partly why Britain had an Empire.

    HTH
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    I see nobody has replied, but that may be because...

    I see nobody has replied, but that may be because it is too late in the day, today.

    While waiting for someone who knows what they are talking about, here are some links. If during your own...
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    It is certainly unfair that an honourable and...

    It is certainly unfair that an honourable and decent Irishman such as you (who has been very helpful to a few of us in CUK when stranded at motorway services with no way to get home, and has given us...
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    Oh dear, there appears to be a problem. I...

    Oh dear, there appears to be a problem.

    I reckon all newborn babies are ugly.

    Yours isn't.

    Was it born in Germany - is that why? Do you get a better qualität von baby auf Deutschland?
  28. Thread: Ukulele Cabaret Gets Geeky - Tuesday 24th...

    Thread: Ukulele Cabaret Gets Geeky - Tuesday 24th May
    Date: Tuesday 24th May

    :rollin:

    Priceless!
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    Thank you for the credit for that...

    Thank you for the credit for that well-researched, well-written and time-consuming creation.

    I am flattered you identified me as the creator.
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    ( Just to explain, I made such a mess of...

    ( Just to explain, I made such a mess of correcting the bold / underline / italics that I decided to delete and recreate the post, during which time SimonMac, managed to reply to my post. Hence he...
  31. Contractors don't have a sick record. (Nobody...

    Contractors don't have a sick record. (Nobody ever asked me, anyway.) It's not like anyone can call your HR person to check your record.



    BTW, got any pizzas in the freezer?
  32. HAB, is that you?

    HAB, is that you?
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    I think there may be a grain of truth in this. ...

    I think there may be a grain of truth in this.

    I have heard of one immigrant innovating industrialist who puts in so many hours at work, he doesn't even have a chair at home to sit on.



    Nor...
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    Thank you most kindly. It was EO's inspiration:...

    Thank you most kindly. It was EO's inspiration:



    And yours, SimonMac, actually made me laugh out loud when I first saw it. Very clever. :D
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    :laugh Sorry. :emb God is in His Heaven,...

    :laugh

    Sorry. :emb

    God is in His Heaven, and all is well with the world.

    <snigger>
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    Oh dear. Admin, we're going to need some more...

    Oh dear.

    Admin, we're going to need some more :ladybags: smileys. :o
  37. If your employer refuses to let you use those 3...

    If your employer refuses to let you use those 3 weeks leave in your notice period, just get a sick note from your doctor.

    "I can't cope with the stress, so much so that I've handed in my notice,...
  38. Thread: Dogging

    by RichardCranium
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    Don't worry, AtW. This happened 20 years ago...

    Don't worry, AtW. This happened 20 years ago when drink-driving wasn't so much frowned upon as encouraged.

    "Another one for the road, old bean?"

    And the risk of waiting for a taxi...

    ... in...
  39. It's The Rapture!!! Alll Praiiiiiise De Looorrrrd! (And send me ten bucks)

    Virgin Mary's Face Appears in Wet Spot: Link
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    Alternatively, you could build a particle...

    Alternatively, you could build a particle decelerator: link.
  41. Thread: Dogging

    by RichardCranium
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    That's the high blood pressure tablets causing...

    That's the high blood pressure tablets causing that. :(

    Well, you wouldn't want smelly moist dog hairs on your new sofa, would you?

    Mrs RC didn't fancy plucking them from her rug, either.
  42. Thread: Dogging

    by RichardCranium
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    An old friend from work and his wife I hadn't...

    An old friend from work and his wife I hadn't seen for a few years ... invited Mrs RC & I for dinner, drinks & stay over ... after dinner and drinks, they told us how the dog joins in ... we were...
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    The Pope must be SO pissed off. He's got a...

    The Pope must be SO pissed off. He's got a direct line to God, but does he ever ring? Does he Hell.

    Instead it's always the TV evangelists that get the tip-off.

    WTF is the point of being the...
  44. Thread: Dogging

    by RichardCranium
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    How many pints did it take to get the Alsation...

    How many pints did it take to get the Alsation pissed enough to let you?
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    I nearly believed in the Rapture. I refuse to...

    I nearly believed in the Rapture.

    I refuse to believe in The Sofa.

    We need proper photo footage of its installation, AtW. Proper evidence.

    And when's the housewarming, eh?
  46. :spel institution :spel dunderheaded Also,...

    :spel institution
    :spel dunderheaded

    Also, shouldn't it also be "poorly-educated, cock-rotten knob-end"? :D

    And finally, I think the :spel smiley should have a little swastika armband.

    (I...
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    Absolutely. WSES. You really, really should...

    Absolutely. WSES.

    You really, really should not be working in such a way that it affects your health. It's only an office job, FFS.

    If it is a public sector client, it will be very easy to...
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    But is your decorator on a monthly retainer? And...

    But is your decorator on a monthly retainer? And are you on your decorator's mailing list? And does your decorating have to be done by a well-documented date? And did the decorator do your house...
  49. Thread: Pride

    by RichardCranium
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    Having worked in Shepherd's Bush and lived on the...

    Having worked in Shepherd's Bush and lived on the edge of Bradford and lived in Coventry, I am very accustomed to seeing people wandering around in their pyjamas. They're called Asians.

    The only...
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    Since my Mum was a proper Tyke, I was taught how...

    Since my Mum was a proper Tyke, I was taught how to use a knife steel before I can remember.

    When my Dad saw me use it on the Bowie knife I used to take to Cub Scouts (how the world was different...
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