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  1. I had to google that one, it's not part of my...

    I had to google that one, it's not part of my Genesis collection (and with very good reason, it's pretty terrible). In future, I will listen to it less often, or on fewer occasions. :D
  2. It still does in my house...:wink

    It still does in my house...:wink
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    Note to Boris, try to do more for the lady next...

    Note to Boris, try to do more for the lady next time...
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    Based on the state of her Lady-Garden, I doubt...

    Based on the state of her Lady-Garden, I doubt it...
  5. The contemporary meaning is, not to put too fine...

    The contemporary meaning is, not to put too fine a point on it, wrong.
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    They're approaching Winter. Did you bunk off the...

    They're approaching Winter. Did you bunk off the day they tried to teach you Geography?
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    Quite. As oversights go, it's a biggie...

    Quite. As oversights go, it's a biggie...
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    Razzle, March 1992. :smokin

    Razzle, March 1992. :smokin
  9. Will someone teach those Americanists English,...

    Will someone teach those Americanists English, please. Decimate means 'remove every tenth individual, or reduce by a tenth'.
    And while we're being pedantic, a 'rabbit' is something a lady uses when...
  10. The shock will only kill you if you have the...

    The shock will only kill you if you have the vulnerability.
  11. Are you volunteering yourself?

    Are you volunteering yourself?
  12. If they are in the same sector, and subject to...

    If they are in the same sector, and subject to the same 'shocks', those which go under must have 'underlying health conditions'.
  13. Unfortunately the local council don't agree. New...

    Unfortunately the local council don't agree. New restaurants are effectively banned (I'm not making this up) because they won't allow any change of use. All we'd get would be the big chains though,...
  14. Banks? They are closing faster than pubs. I'm 10...

    Banks? They are closing faster than pubs. I'm 10 mins walk away from 4 empty banks, and they will remain empty probably forever, because they were built as banks, and won't work as shops.
  15. Yes, it did, but that would apply to every food...

    Yes, it did, but that would apply to every food importer. So why are some coping better than others? As we have discussed widely, badly run companies are quick to blame Brexit, because it deflects...
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    Even though we all know a small child would be...

    Even though we all know a small child would be capable of 'creatively editing' a pdf? :wink
  17. You haven't missed anything.

    You haven't missed anything.
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    Really? I thought they went AWOL years ago...

    Really? I thought they went AWOL years ago...
  19. Nothing to do with Brexit*, everything to do with...

    Nothing to do with Brexit*, everything to do with their overpriced, underwhelming offerings, high rents and business rates, and generally crap service. The chaff won't survive, because they don't...
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    Play

    Play
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    9 million Easyjet customer details hacked

    I know this is a Contractor forum, so most of you won't be affected.

    EasyJet: Nine million customers' details 'accessed' by hackers | Business News | Sky News

    :eek

    Sadly I might be, we have...
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    I'd struggle with this, since we don't get any...

    I'd struggle with this, since we don't get any postal bills any more (except council tax, which is only once a year) everything else is paperless. The banks need to get a little bit more up-to-date....
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    Lock him in a room with the truant girl,...

    Lock him in a room with the truant girl, hopefully they can bore each other to death...
  24. Thread: 70% off

    by Mordac
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    577

    So he's got a few more hours then...:igmc:

    So he's got a few more hours then...:igmc:
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    Is he a weapons-grade moron because his name is...

    Is he a weapons-grade moron because his name is Corbyn, or is it because his name is Piers? Discuss...

    :popcorn:
  26. Thread: Real good news

    by Mordac
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    Shouldn't be a surprise, you need to be in close...

    Shouldn't be a surprise, you need to be in close contact with another human (or a live bat) to catch it, and that's hardly likely to happen now or ever.

    PS - no need for the second test, you have...
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    The two words that matter being: You can't...

    The two words that matter being:



    You can't call 'Doom' until it's in a Budget Statement, Moron.
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    There'd be no fookers left, you cretin... :wink

    There'd be no fookers left, you cretin...

    :wink
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    I spotted that as well. They are allowed to...

    I spotted that as well. They are allowed to travel, he was probably using the station as a cut-through, there's a cab drivers' shelter just up the road a bit.
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    I think you're right, he would appear to be an...

    I think you're right, he would appear to be an American...

    :igmc:
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    :laugh Oh, just stop it, my sides hurt...

    :laugh Oh, just stop it, my sides hurt...
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    Ryanair? I thought this was a Contractor forum...

    Ryanair? I thought this was a Contractor forum...
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    Everyone seems to think they're an expert these...

    Everyone seems to think they're an expert these days. Especially the expats...
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    There's a video on FB, for those who don't have...

    There's a video on FB, for those who don't have an Alexa. You'd have thought the Welsh would have changed their word for 100, perhaps they haven't realised it's quite rude?
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    I met him about 20 years ago, and to be fair, he...

    I met him about 20 years ago, and to be fair, he looked dead then...:oldgit:
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    It's just possible they were referring to the...

    It's just possible they were referring to the Global Pandemic which has been mentioned in the Media, in case you missed it...
  37. Poll: He went for a nipple and got a kneecap instead......

    He went for a nipple and got a kneecap instead...

    :igmc:
  38. Poll: Will we need masks for that?

    Will we need masks for that?
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    I just opened a DOS prompt full screen, and felt...

    I just opened a DOS prompt full screen, and felt a warm fuzzy glow...:nerd
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    If only there was a way we could completely...

    If only there was a way we could completely ignore whatever some batty EU Commissioner says...

    :igmc:
  41. Sorry to hear this. I wonder how many second-home...

    Sorry to hear this. I wonder how many second-home owners went there thinking it was a safe haven?
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    (Fax machines, there's one for the teenagers...)...

    (Fax machines, there's one for the teenagers...)

    Also, remember when Agents would meet you for lunch, or in the pub after work, and they'd pay?

    You try telling that to young people now, and...
  43. You so obviously don't...:rollin:

    You so obviously don't...:rollin:
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    I didn't think Sassy was allowed near anything...

    I didn't think Sassy was allowed near anything sharp?
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    Round my way everyone seems to be knitting and...

    Round my way everyone seems to be knitting and they're all complaining about the lack of wool. I wouldn't suggest taking my neighbours' strange habits as a basis for your future business plan though,...
  46. Thread: Titcam's back!

    by Mordac
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    ...er, thanks for showing us your tits... ...

    ...er, thanks for showing us your tits...

    :igmc:
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    I'm sure they could have hit that target...

    I'm sure they could have hit that target instantly by opening up the tests to anyone who wanted them. It would have caused chaos though, so it's probably better that they test fewer people (those who...
  48. Thread: anyone seen Dim

    by Mordac
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    Several of the congregation are secretly hoping...

    Several of the congregation are secretly hoping gimp suits will be mandatory, but I suspect they'll be disappointed...
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    If only she'd just farted, the world would be a...

    If only she'd just farted, the world would be a happier place...
  50. If it's a British bomb, don't worry, it'll be a...

    If it's a British bomb, don't worry, it'll be a dud. Everything we make is complete sh!t. Sassy told me...
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