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  1. Replies
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    What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?...

    What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
    It gets toad away.
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    Sticky: Oh strange the infrastructure team are happy for...

    Oh strange the infrastructure team are happy for me to do the redevelopment work so they can save a few quid. Not sure who is going to do the work I am supposed to do.

    Azure - here we flounder!
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    Sticky: Start as you intend to get moaned at for! or ...

    Start as you intend to get moaned at for!

    or

    It is easier to not give, than to take away! - an ex colleagues observation about security rights.
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    In this day and age of the snowflake masters, why...

    In this day and age of the snowflake masters, why isn't The Isle of Man called The Isle of Person?
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    A test that can diagnose Covid-19 in minutes will...

    A test that can diagnose Covid-19 in minutes will expand the capacity to detect cases in low- and middle-income countries, the WHO has said.


    That's Wales and Scotland sorted then.
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    Life is like a box of chocolates. Quickly...

    Life is like a box of chocolates.


    Quickly destroyed by my wife.
  7. Replies
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    I phoned up a hotel and the receptionist said...

    I phoned up a hotel and the receptionist said hello best western.



    I said Unforgiven with Clint Eastwood .
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic41107/41107.j...

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic41107/41107.jpeg
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    Sticky: people will use any excuse to continue being...

    people will use any excuse to continue being stupid.
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    So Labour replace their failure in chief with a...

    So Labour replace their failure in chief with a man that actually has potential and their vote share rises mid term.

    Hardly shocking.

    Remember I suggested this would happen a couple of years...
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    apparently they ain't fussy! :wink

    apparently they ain't fussy! :wink
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    so you can post on a British Forum how much...

    so you can post on a British Forum how much better off you are and how soon the UK will return to the middle ages thanks to leaving the enlightened EU?
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    INKSPE...

    INKSPE...
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    Q: Why were there 17 blondes standing outside the...

    Q: Why were there 17 blondes standing outside the pub?
    A: Because the sign said you have to be 18 to enter.
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    Most of the ones I have seen appear to be a pay...

    Most of the ones I have seen appear to be a pay cut on a permie salary in the UK after expenses.
  16. Replies
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    for WTFH

    A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?'' The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!'' The man thinks for a...
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    Redhead: "You ever smelled moth balls?" Blonde:...

    Redhead: "You ever smelled moth balls?"
    Blonde: "Yes, I think they smell good."
    Redhead: "Wow, I can't believe you got your nose between those tiny legs."
  18. Replies
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    Sticky: You are Zeity's love child and I claim my £5.

    You are Zeity's love child and I claim my £5.
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    NLyUK goes to the cleaners.

    A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners


    The lady says, "Come Again!"


    The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
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    Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you...

    Boy: The principal is so dumb!


    Girl: Do you know who I am?


    Boy: No...


    Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
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    Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry

    Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry
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    Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and...

    Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.




    Guess he was right.
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    Teacher: How much is a gram? John: Uhmm,...

    Teacher: How much is a gram?




    John: Uhmm, depends on what you need
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    Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life? ...

    Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?




    Her: Awww... Yes!!!
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic41104/41104.j...

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic41104/41104.jpeg
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    Sticky: creep!

    creep!
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    Sticky: Sit there and accrue holiday and length of...

    Sit there and accrue holiday and length of service.

    Best thing is to get the notice, sign & deliver the forms then ring the boss up for a reference for your next job, preferably all on the same...
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    Winding Barmy, NAT, WTFH & AssGoo up is fun. So...

    Winding Barmy, NAT, WTFH & AssGoo up is fun. So much pomposity, so many pins.
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    Apart from the opener sponsored by Damian Hirst...

    Apart from the opener sponsored by Damian Hirst it was so much twaddle.
  30. Replies
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    E.Coli bacteria has a fatality rate in humans of...

    E.Coli bacteria has a fatality rate in humans of 8%. So, not only is Covid not as lethal as the Spanish flu, you've more chance of being killed by a Spanish Omelette.
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    For some reason, women get really annoyed when a...

    For some reason, women get really annoyed when a man watches pornography on their phone.


    It’s why I no longer work at the Apple store.
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    Yesterday I told a joke so dark an American cop...

    Yesterday I told a joke so dark an American cop shot it dead
  33. Replies
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    I'm opening a new tool and sweet shop on an Irish...

    I'm opening a new tool and sweet shop on an Irish building site.


    It'll be called, Pick 'n' Micks.
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    I was at the restaurant and a beautiful woman...

    I was at the restaurant and a beautiful woman came to me.
    I look at her and she look at me and then she ask me if I'm alone and I said yes.

    She smiled and I smiled back at her and then she took...
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    Gravestones are a thing of the passed.

    Gravestones are a thing of the passed.
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    I just ate an entire philosophy book. Now I...

    I just ate an entire philosophy book.


    Now I feel really thoughtful.
  37. Replies
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    A priest walks into a pub and orders a pint of...

    A priest walks into a pub and orders a pint of Guinness.
    "There you go," says the barman." but I warn you we don't tolerate any religious conversation in this pub."
    "Far be it from me," replies the...
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    I saw a midget climbing down a prison wall.. I...

    I saw a midget climbing down a prison wall..
    I thought that’s a little condescending ..!!
  39. Replies
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    What do you call a basement full of feminists? ...

    What do you call a basement full of feminists?


    A whine cellar.
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    Breaking News: Texas residents warned of tap...

    Breaking News: Texas residents warned of tap water tainted with brain-eating microbe


    "We only found this in a routine test of the water samples. Unfortunately there are absolutely no detectable...
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    "Don't get too drunk and make sure you're home by...

    "Don't get too drunk and make sure you're home by 10".


    Reminds me of being 14.
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    I don’t know how these chain smokers do it. ...

    I don’t know how these chain smokers do it.


    I can’t get mine to light.
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    I've just been diagnosed with terminal D.I.Y...

    I've just been diagnosed with terminal D.I.Y shoppers syndrome.
    I've been given six Wickes to live.
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic40971/40971.jpg
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic40977/40977.jpg
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic41001/41001.jpg
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    NLyUK in her part time job?

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic41063/41063.jpg
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    Well the plate looks like a good night in.

    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic41066/41066.jpeg
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic41097/41097.jpeg
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    https://sickcdn.azureedge.net/mainpic41075/41075.j...

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