Search Results - Contractor UK Bulletin Board

Search:

Type: Posts; User: LondonManc

Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 4

Search: Search took 0.03 seconds; generated 17 minute(s) ago.

  1. Replies
    310
    Views
    9,109

    My whole point was around your point (c), with...

    My whole point was around your point (c), with reference to this link posted earlier:
    Coronavirus doctor reveals he is yet to get a patient off a ventilator alive and his hospital could run out by...
  2. Replies
    326,401
    Views
    18,489,729

    Sticky: Glorious weather in northern Mamucium. Police on...

    Glorious weather in northern Mamucium. Police on the street earlier; turns out nothing too exciting, just someone leaving their handbrake off on their Mini and it rolling to a comfortable stop 25...
  3. Replies
    310
    Views
    9,109

    So we're spending millions on ventilators to what...

    So we're spending millions on ventilators to what end?

    If people now know that those who need them are brown bread within days anyway, sounds horrible, but shouldn't the money be thrown at...
  4. What, clever folk?

    What, clever folk?
  5. So what private school are they in at the moment?...

    So what private school are they in at the moment? I presumed in your OP that you meant a local grammar
  6. Idiot. Jan. 14: WHO announces Chinese...

    Idiot.

    Jan. 14: WHO announces Chinese authorities have seen "no clear evidence of human-to-human transmission of the novel coronavirus."
  7. Replies
    4
    Views
    402

    Take the permie job, deregister for VAT once...

    Take the permie job, deregister for VAT once you've completed your probation period and get your accountant to set your company as dormant.
  8. Replies
    20
    Views
    500

    Ugh. Thought someone had hacked the webcam at the...

    Ugh. Thought someone had hacked the webcam at the Heathrow Thistle for a minute.
  9. Replies
    9
    Views
    217

    Has Scooty stolen DP's login?

    Has Scooty stolen DP's login?
  10. Replies
    6,860
    Views
    773,637

    My mate wasn't well so they stuck him on one of...

    My mate wasn't well so they stuck him on one of those ventilators made by the Mercedes F1 Team. He's feeling much better neeeeow.
  11. Replies
    11
    Views
    502

    As grim as NLUK can be, he's absolutely right....

    As grim as NLUK can be, he's absolutely right. Your accountant is paid to help you with your individual circumstances.
  12. Thread: Footballers

    by LondonManc
    Replies
    16
    Views
    357

    They often don't pay when they have to. They get...

    They often don't pay when they have to. They get someone to change the rules for them.
  13. A new stain eh? Explains the bog roll...

    A new stain eh? Explains the bog roll stockpiling.

    Is Corba the Greek emergency committee?
  14. Thread: Footballers

    by LondonManc
    Replies
    16
    Views
    357

    Thing is, Mark, it's not the players that are the...

    Thing is, Mark, it's not the players that are the problem. Any single one of them who has played for at least five years in the Premier League could never draw a wage again and still live a life...
  15. Thread: Footballers

    by LondonManc
    Replies
    16
    Views
    357

    Credit to Manchester United players who agreed a...

    Credit to Manchester United players who agreed a 30% cut before the idea was floated.

    Shame on Liverpool, Newcastle and Spurs jumping on the government furlough scheme. :winker:

    The chunts at...
  16. Replies
    50
    Views
    1,062

    Only if they're Captain Jack Sparrow masks.

    Only if they're Captain Jack Sparrow masks.
  17. Replies
    18
    Views
    285

    Benefits?

    Benefits?
  18. Thread: £350+ bln

    by LondonManc
    Replies
    8
    Views
    184

    You're confusing it with the first Galactic...

    You're confusing it with the first Galactic Empire.
  19. Only when done properly....

    Only when done properly. :spank::spank::bluelight:bluelight:banana::banana:
  20. Next door to the crematorium. Very handy.

    Next door to the crematorium. Very handy.
  21. No, you cannot procreate if you do it the other...

    No, you cannot procreate if you do it the other way round. HTHBIDI.
  22. Replies
    12
    Views
    261

    There once was a nympho called Jill, Who used...

    There once was a nympho called Jill,
    Who used dynamite once for a thrill;
    They found her vagina
    In South Carolina
    And her tits in the sea off Brazil.
  23. Replies
    30
    Views
    603

    Made in Lotus 123; that's how they knew they were...

    Made in Lotus 123; that's how they knew they were from Scooty
  24. Replies
    30
    Views
    603

    My heart goes out to the Heathrow Thistle staff,...

    My heart goes out to the Heathrow Thistle staff, ready to be bored senseless by three year old investment advice.
  25. Replies
    1,012
    Views
    64,756

    If you knew who the largest shareholder in HSBC...

    If you knew who the largest shareholder in HSBC was, you'd be able to answer that. As you don't, because your research is up there with Chris Kamara's, I'll tell you. It's Ping An Insurance, biggest...
  26. Replies
    12
    Views
    261

    There once was a man from Nantucket, He had a...

    There once was a man from Nantucket,
    He had a dick so long he could suck it,
    He said with a grin,
    as he wiped off his chin,
    If my ear was a **** I would **** it.
  27. Replies
    1,012
    Views
    64,756

    Try doing up to date research or understanding...

    Try doing up to date research or understanding what you've researched.

    Fitch revising the outlook to negative has not changed the rating of HSBC; it remains at A+; indeed parts of the bank have...
  28. Replies
    12
    Views
    261

    There was a young sailor named Bates Who danced...

    There was a young sailor named Bates
    Who danced the fandango on skates.
    But a fall on his cutlass
    Has rendered him nutless
    And practically useless on dates.
  29. Getting 7 days is more than some get. Others get...

    Getting 7 days is more than some get. Others get walked the same day.

    If they say there's no funding for the next four weeks to pay you, would you still go in and work for free?

    These things...
  30. Replies
    12
    Views
    261

    There once was a man from Leeds, Who swallowed a...

    There once was a man from Leeds,
    Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
    Within half an hour
    His cock was a flower
    And his balls were covered in weeds
    .
  31. Thread: Transport

    by LondonManc
    Replies
    96
    Views
    1,442

    Going out on a limb, but staying off here 24/7...

    Going out on a limb, but staying off here 24/7 would reduce your stress levels.
  32. Replies
    6,860
    Views
    773,637

    A woman joins a country club and when she hears...

    A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants...
  33. Thread: Transport

    by LondonManc
    Replies
    96
    Views
    1,442

    Just because I'm missing greenlake.... ...

    Just because I'm missing greenlake....

    https://awindowintothewoods.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/watermarked-twice-ballerina-squirrel.jpg
  34. Replies
    12
    Views
    261

    The boy stood on the burning deck, His pockets...

    The boy stood on the burning deck,
    His pockets full of crackers.
    One went off to his surprise,
    And blew off both his knackers.....
  35. Thread: Peru

    by LondonManc
    Replies
    11
    Views
    233

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOHPuY88Ry4

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOHPuY88Ry4
  36. Replies
    326,401
    Views
    18,489,729

    Sticky: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eab_beh07HU

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eab_beh07HU
  37. Replies
    1,012
    Views
    64,756

    Nope, you're still not getting it. HSBC...

    Nope, you're still not getting it.

    HSBC doesn't have an issue. Having the largest gold ETF is another way of saying that I have two apple trees and you have one. If there are only three apple...
  38. Replies
    1,012
    Views
    64,756

    Still not presenting any evidence for the...

    Still not presenting any evidence for the impending collapse of HSBC are you?
  39. Replies
    326,401
    Views
    18,489,729

    Sticky: Went to Harrods a few years ago. Those little...

    Went to Harrods a few years ago. Those little string bags of chocolate coins in foil that you hang on the Christmas tree for kids? £9.99!!! Even Dick Turpin wore a mask.
  40. Replies
    1,012
    Views
    64,756

    Beat me to it. I'd wager DB collapses before HSBC...

    Beat me to it. I'd wager DB collapses before HSBC (unless HSBC heads off back to Hong Kong).
  41. Replies
    23
    Views
    525

    Totally agree, but he's one of those who would go...

    Totally agree, but he's one of those who would go sooner, unlike Crohn's sufferers, where the drugs to keep it under control would leave them in a very vulnerable position to C-19 but have little...
  42. Replies
    326,401
    Views
    18,489,729

    Sticky: Now she's back as a drug dealer, she's a key...

    Now she's back as a drug dealer, she's a key worker so hasn't got much time. She's going to FINALLY make some more of that fudge this summer. I think she's had enough of the stress of the...
  43. Use a shredder hooked up to a fax to encrypt your...

    Use a shredder hooked up to a fax to encrypt your signature before you send the document.

    Or just photograph your signature and paste it into the document where it's meant to go. :cretin:
  44. Replies
    22
    Views
    1,449

    Question: do you think you are expensive or is...

    Question: do you think you are expensive or is the agent potentially stiffing you both? That is, going rate should be £500, you're getting £400, agent is claiming to the client that you're being...
  45. Thread: Transport

    by LondonManc
    Replies
    96
    Views
    1,442

    https://media.tenor.com/images/7008f1df5afdb229785...

    https://media.tenor.com/images/7008f1df5afdb2297855dbe105d010ca/tenor.gif
  46. Replies
    6,860
    Views
    773,637

    Three words: "home schooling"

    Three words: "home schooling"
  47. Replies
    1,557
    Views
    173,763

    Sounds like heart failure was the big one. Who...

    Sounds like heart failure was the big one. Who knows if he'd have pulled through without contracting it?

    Shows that self-isolation is so important with NHS staff stretched so much.
    Three key...
  48. Replies
    7
    Views
    212

    Have a look through this thread for your COVID-19...

    Have a look through this thread for your COVID-19 concerns:
    https://www.contractoruk.com/forums/coronavirus-assistance/137561-coronavirus-resources-thread.html

    Have a look through the stickies in...
  49. Thread: Transport

    by LondonManc
    Replies
    96
    Views
    1,442

    Doesn't matter; as long as the solution fits in...

    Doesn't matter; as long as the solution fits in with AtW's lifestyle, the rest are clearly wrong. Grade A w*nker (him, not you).
  50. Replies
    22
    Views
    890

    Death and taxes.

    Death and taxes.
Results 1 to 50 of 498
Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 4