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  1. It was the right address. The client's fantasy...

    It was the right address. The client's fantasy was for it to seem like the wrong address.
  2. Replies
    10
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    351

    If it's Covid safe sex you're after, the old man...

    If it's Covid safe sex you're after, the old man will wrap you in cling film for a tenner, and beat the crap out of you with a 2 metre steel pole.
  3. Replies
    3,860
    Views
    751,692

    WGAS whether you like it or not.

    WGAS whether you like it or not.
  4. North Lancashire and East Cambridgeshire are my...

    North Lancashire and East Cambridgeshire are my main hiring spots for fingering and fisting roles. Lincolnshire at a push if demand outstrips supply.
  5. It's popular in the masochist community.

    It's popular in the masochist community.
  6. Replies
    43
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    2,646

    The point of this thread is for you to be your...

    The point of this thread is for you to be your normal dull charmless self.
  7. Via the Suckshop (motto: one swallow does not a...

    Via the Suckshop (motto: one swallow does not a bummer make)
  8. He had to deal with sums as big as 12p, even 15p,...

    He had to deal with sums as big as 12p, even 15p, with his under the counter special menu.
  9. Replies
    27
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    3,740

    FTFY

    FTFY
  10. That's not yoghurt.

    That's not yoghurt.
  11. It was cheaper to give him a job title of...

    It was cheaper to give him a job title of Cultural Exchange Ambassador than a rate increase, which I'd only have to pass on the merchant shipping community.
  12. Poll: The old man will eat any old fruit.

    The old man will eat any old fruit.
  13. Replies
    27
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    903

    The old man wanted his own working space. ...

    The old man wanted his own working space.

    https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article21951747.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_Lytham-St-Annes-house.jpg
  14. Poll: You're physically returning to work up AndyW's...

    You're physically returning to work up AndyW's Mum as soon as the lockdown is over.
  15. Replies
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    4,287

    PM me with who you would like him to be and how...

    PM me with who you would like him to be and how many times and I'll send you a quote.
  16. Replies
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    739

    Depends what turns you on.

    Depends what turns you on.
  17. Replies
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    715

    FTFY

    FTFY
  18. Replies
    29
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    757

    I thought looking like a massive cock suited you.

    I thought looking like a massive cock suited you.
  19. Poll: But you can count your new eBumfist 3000.

    But you can count your new eBumfist 3000.
  20. The old man does a lot of business down the...

    The old man does a lot of business down the docks, but index linking his menu card prices to crude oil isn't looking so clever now.
  21. FTFY

    FTFY
  22. Replies
    36
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    2,372

    The old man is happy with minimum wage to get...

    The old man is happy with minimum wage to get down on his hands and knees for some fruit approaching its use by date.
  23. Replies
    12
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    906

    That's the sequence of facial expressions we aim...

    That's the sequence of facial expressions we aim for.
  24. Replies
    12
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    906

    I can iron your face for 20 quid plus travel...

    I can iron your face for 20 quid plus travel expenses.
  25. Replies
    12
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    906

    I'll iron the old man's work costume.

    I'll iron the old man's work costume.
  26. The old man needs a good kicking before he'll...

    The old man needs a good kicking before he'll nosh a sailor for under a fiver.
  27. Replies
    7
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    476

    Any more of that talk, young man, and I'll...

    Any more of that talk, young man, and I'll manacle you and the old man together by your Dutch Antilles and set the pitbull on you both.
  28. Replies
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    2,701

    That barbed strap-on was only meant as a novelty...

    That barbed strap-on was only meant as a novelty gift.
  29. He's going spare on a food and board basis, if...

    He's going spare on a food and board basis, if you change your mind.
  30. Replies
    8
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    342

    It's why the old man's bowels are in such rude...

    It's why the old man's bowels are in such rude health.
  31. :spel

    :spel
  32. Replies
    70
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    2,131

    Don't talk with your mouth full.

    Don't talk with your mouth full.
  33. Replies
    45
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    1,838

    The old man doesn't mind if I sleep with other...

    The old man doesn't mind if I sleep with other people, and neither do I.
  34. FTFY

    FTFY
  35. Replies
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    734

    There is another possible reason.

    There is another possible reason.
  36. He doesn't often get the chance to look down on...

    He doesn't often get the chance to look down on someone, so he does like to take full advantage.
  37. Replies
    34
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    3,628

    I didn't have you down as a chubby chaser.

    I didn't have you down as a chubby chaser.
  38. Replies
    47
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    3,156

    Political correctness gone mad.

    Political correctness gone mad.
  39. Replies
    59
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    4,467

    :uofftopic This is a professional forum. Show...

    :uofftopic

    This is a professional forum. Show some respect please.
  40. Replies
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    4,787

    'Front garden' is a euphemism.

    'Front garden' is a euphemism.
  41. Replies
    59
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    4,467

    Only if you brush your teeth before you lick it...

    Only if you brush your teeth before you lick it clean.
  42. Replies
    72
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    4,787

    The rotting corpses and skeletons of bored to...

    The rotting corpses and skeletons of bored to death HMRC employees in your front garden is a salutory warning.
  43. Replies
    59
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    4,467

    First they came on the toilet traders, and I did...

    First they came on the toilet traders, and I did not stand up because I was manacled to the u-bend.
  44. Replies
    59
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    4,467

    No. He demeans you.

    No. He demeans you.
  45. Replies
    59
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    4,467

    Nobody here wants to discuss the effects of IR35...

    Nobody here wants to discuss the effects of IR35 changes on a submissive toilet trader.
  46. Replies
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    1,564

    The old man is hexadecimal. F0AD

    The old man is hexadecimal.

    F0AD
  47. Replies
    10
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    1,027

    They have a new algorithm which trawls your...

    They have a new algorithm which trawls your previous reviews by hosts and applies a sex worker cleaning surcharge.
  48. Replies
    59
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    2,098

    Get a room, you two. Or a toilet cubicle.

    Get a room, you two. Or a toilet cubicle.
  49. Or gets you a discount.

    Or gets you a discount.
  50. Replies
    7
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    1,638

    Which is a blessing.

    Which is a blessing.
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