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  1. Replies
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    Ah you're a dabbler are you? Data tables? Did you...

    Ah you're a dabbler are you? Data tables? Did you learn to type on a type writer in the 60s?

    I've been choking down pole all morning. The pricing is a bit wrong and I have to fix it by 5pm or it...
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    How can someone which such basic wit, have become...

    How can someone which such basic wit, have become admin on this site?
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    Stop it. Just f$&@)gstop bull sh1tting for 1...

    Stop it. Just f$&@)gstop bull sh1tting for 1 minute.

    What was your contribution to the beta?

    Please be honest. How did you add value? How did you make a difference?

    Don't be tempted to...
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    Oh we're alright now, the architects arrived. ...

    Oh we're alright now, the architects arrived.

    You can't even architect a decent post on CUK.

    Architecture is another task of a decent developer. It's not a career. Sounds like you are working...
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    Huh? You damn BAs are all the same. Narrow...

    Huh?

    You damn BAs are all the same. Narrow view of the world and over inflated view of your contribution.

    There's some much complexity involved in delivering working software that you idiots...
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    Oh, so you're at Orchestrade are you?...

    Oh, so you're at Orchestrade are you? Interesting. I'll give PB a call and have a chat about this situation you've pointed out. That's very worrying for us. Thanks for the heads up.
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    You think PMs, BAs and architects add much value...

    You think PMs, BAs and architects add much value in complex environments??? They add confusion and overheads.

    Part of the game is simplifying your environment to reduce complexity.

    I've often...
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    If you get three high performance developers (I...

    If you get three high performance developers (I mean by that, those that can do 2 full time jobs at the same time) and a tester, you can get a lot done. Seperate people for the rest of the roles are...
  9. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
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    8,812

    I'm not sure what theyve told you Suity, but you...

    I'm not sure what theyve told you Suity, but you won't be doing banking BA work. You'll be doing interfaces between systems. I assume you are something like a TIBCO BPM guy. Dont worry, that is not...
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    Autoextender making life hard

    Hi chaps

    Has anyone had any luck with autoextender?

    I've installed it but it won't come up.

    It's very frustrating. I was hoping to get it working at home and then use it in work.

    <mod...
  11. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
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    I meant emotionally available. You're such a...

    I meant emotionally available. You're such a tease.

    You're one of the very few females on this site that I consider genuine.
  12. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
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    I still don't know if you are male or female. My...

    I still don't know if you are male or female. My money's on shemale.

    What are you wearing? Do you use Chat Roulette or any other webcam sites? We've got to talk about this thing thats developed...
  13. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
    Replies
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    8,812

    Look, you're a (not very bright) geek. What do...

    Look, you're a (not very bright) geek. What do you know about sex or sexuality? Come on, write something interesting about it, instead of your pointless little digs.
  14. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
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    8,812

    If you consider my material you may conclude that...

    If you consider my material you may conclude that unlike a lot of ego posters on here, like assguru, I'm actually giving out a manifesto to the community, a plan for successful modus operandi. Im a...
  15. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
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    166
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    8,812

    Are you available?

    Are you available?
  16. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
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    8,812

    Jesus H Christ. Get a grip. Your play is so weak...

    Jesus H Christ. Get a grip. Your play is so weak I wouldnt even call it play. No wonder you get manipulated so easily, politics goes over your head.

    Let me make it clear for you, you wouldn't...
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    No no no ... I picked up an Australian passport...

    No no no ... I picked up an Australian passport in my early 30s...there are a lot of very happy Brits over there in Oz.
    Laughing at you people stuck in a second rate country, jacked up on debt. I...
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    I'm feeling a lot of jealousy coming my way on...

    I'm feeling a lot of jealousy coming my way on this thread.

    If you guys could get permanent residence in Australia , you'd jump at the chance. But you're all too old and committed to a hard life...
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    If only papa hadn't been so hard on you assguru,...

    If only papa hadn't been so hard on you assguru, you might have made something of yourself, instead of failing at programming and moving into low-level report writing, while your Mrs works with men...
  20. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
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    Wow! Is this how the semi-skilled hustle?

    Wow!

    Is this how the semi-skilled hustle?
  21. Replies
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    Are you premenstrual?

    Are you premenstrual?
  22. Replies
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    3 seconds? Is that how long you last? Bad luck...

    3 seconds? Is that how long you last?

    Bad luck Dodgy.
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    Battered like a rent boys ring piece.

    Battered like a rent boys ring piece.
  24. Replies
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    Yeah right. You'll be dining out on that little...

    Yeah right. You'll be dining out on that little gem.
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    CUK Skype Olympics

    Ive got a vision yeah. A gym based, Skype based Olympiad.

    Suity can have a headstart for the running events.
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    Another literal idiot. My statement had at...

    Another literal idiot.

    My statement had at least 3 meanings. Read it again.
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    They were cheering themselves. Britain. The flag....

    They were cheering themselves. Britain. The flag. Most of them wouldn't p1ss on farah if he was on fire in the street.

    The British Lyons. What a joke. There are no Lyons in England.
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    I'll do you over 1500m on treadmills on Skype....

    I'll do you over 1500m on treadmills on Skype. Are you game?
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    Most of them are knife carrying drug bags. I've...

    Most of them are knife carrying drug bags. I've lived with them for several years. They come from another pig country and fit right in in the UK.

    Mo farah is popular in the UK because he's a...
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    I'm not generalising about all immigrants. Just...

    I'm not generalising about all immigrants. Just bludgers like the somalis in East London.

    The chavs have turned up at your pub and said "f$&k off, it's our pub now". All the regulars have gone to...
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    Not you again. Sockie dot com. Get down canal...

    Not you again. Sockie dot com.

    Get down canal street and gam your way through the weekend with the other semi-skilled peasants.
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    The UK is finished mate. It's over. It's a pig...

    The UK is finished mate. It's over. It's a pig country now. The chavs and immigrants have won. Your medals were won on borrowed money.

    The rise of the far right is imminent.
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    I've told you before you savant. If you want to...

    I've told you before you savant. If you want to go toe to toe on Skype, with balaclavas on, then let's have it. You're so LITERALLY boring
  34. Replies
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    Jargon? What, like words with more than two...

    Jargon? What, like words with more than two syllables dumbo?

    I bet you've got a banksie and a John squire hanging on your wall haven't you? Tosser
  35. Replies
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    I can't tell you right now. Take me for a few...

    I can't tell you right now. Take me for a few beers and I'll explain.
  36. Replies
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    That's what I thought when he told me. But I got...

    That's what I thought when he told me. But I got the full story. No BS

    You meet some odd characters that have been on the road contracting around for a long time with no base. That's not me, I've...
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    It's sad. I've seen a close colleague have a...

    It's sad. I've seen a close colleague have a break down over the last month. It's best he's out of here and in rehab today.

    The Russian BA dude is close to snapping too. His eyes are glazing over...
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    Requirements gathering in IBs

    The other dude just dropped out because he says he's been hitting the smack too hard since he's been on this contract!
    Just spoke to his wife on the phone. She'll be glad to have him home.
  39. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
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    8,812

    Is that a cryptic crossword clue? Is the...

    Is that a cryptic crossword clue?

    Is the answer analingus?
  40. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
    Replies
    166
    Views
    8,812

    Is that the LGBT bar where you work? I assume you...

    Is that the LGBT bar where you work? I assume you make the T
  41. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
    Replies
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    8,812

    I think you'll find I'm waiting at the pool table...

    I think you'll find I'm waiting at the pool table for you. You can put your 50p on the table, but you ain't getting a game. And you're going to suck it up, drink your shandy and take your pool cue...
  42. Thread: Bonkers

    by aussielong
    Replies
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    8,812

    Ah well. Kick back and live off your war chest...

    Ah well. Kick back and live off your war chest for 6 months. Life's too short for them to be messing you around like this.
    And being a BPM guy, you don't really need the $ do you.

    Why not buy a...
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    ...covered in sh1t ...useless ...ruined ...a...

    ...covered in sh1t
    ...useless
    ...ruined
    ...a bl00dy mess
    ...a trail of destruction
    ...a tad embarrassing
    ...irredeemable
    ...broken
    ...sporting evidence of having "been around"
    ...
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    You only have a catalog of embarrassing failures...

    You only have a catalog of embarrassing failures to pick from when you give out advice on contracting.

    Your CV must be like a rent boys ring after a weekend in Brighton.
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    If it was me I'd be pinging the market to see...

    If it was me I'd be pinging the market to see where it's at.
    You know where they stand. You have the upper hand now.
    Hedge your bets then strike while the irons hot.
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    Don't do this. You lock in now, you give up the...

    Don't do this. You lock in now, you give up the chance to negotiate a rate rise at the end of your first 6m, its too early to ask for a rise at 2.5m

    You know their position (it's in the bag), why...
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    Hey buddy By BPM do you mean integration ESB...

    Hey buddy

    By BPM do you mean integration ESB stuff?

    I might have a interesting lead for you.

    Get right back to me ASAP buddy
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    Big boys? Nappies? Mummying? Are you making some...

    Big boys? Nappies? Mummying? Are you making some weird kind of offer here?

    Woop Woop Woop lingham style.
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    You're a bit out of your depth taking me on,...

    You're a bit out of your depth taking me on, aren't you?
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    By the way , what are you wearing? My money is...

    By the way , what are you wearing?

    My money is on a leather trench coat, sunglasses and DrMartens. Also, I see a receding hairline and a pony tail. And I suspect you listen to death metal very...
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