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  1. Replies
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    I suspect in your case it's something perverted...

    I suspect in your case it's something perverted worn underneath your slacks.
  2. Replies
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    Perhaps I am in your mind's eye but no, I'm in my...

    Perhaps I am in your mind's eye but no, I'm in my thirties and English.
  3. Replies
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    Contractor's Man Bag

    I've noticed that none of the contractors in the office have man bags so I've bought one. I've also got an East 17 coat.

    I'm feeling the pressure to be more fashion conscious now I'm on umbrella...
  4. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
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    2,616

    That's not true, I've had no 'like' points on...

    That's not true, I've had no 'like' points on this thread, not a single one.
  5. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
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    2,616

    And what's even more pointless is that you're...

    And what's even more pointless is that you're both responding. :laugh
  6. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
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    2,616

    I did take your advice or I wouldn't be umbrella....

    I did take your advice or I wouldn't be umbrella.

    One man's annoyance is another man's triumph in the face of adversity for disability rights, diversity and inclusion.

    I'm surprised this thread...
  7. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
    31
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    2,616

    I think you might be right and if I get the chop...

    I think you might be right and if I get the chop I don't fancy joining the zombie hoards in the contractor's job market this April.
  8. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
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    2,616

    Because there was TMI and it would be fairly easy...

    Because there was TMI and it would be fairly easy to narrow down the search to one person given that the CUK lurkers already worked out which company and part of the organisation I was talking about.
  9. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
    31
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    2,616

    Yes No Yes No, but I've reduced the dose...

    Yes

    No

    Yes

    No, but I've reduced the dose without supervision, direction or control.

    Fine
  10. Thread: NI Calcs

    by mb31
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    549

    Thanks Ghost, if it were possible to submit a...

    Thanks Ghost, if it were possible to submit a years worth of timesheets in one payslip then that would bridge the gap between Umbrella take home and ltd by nearly 10%. I've just got to sell the idea...
  11. Thread: NI Calcs

    by mb31
    Replies
    6
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    549

    Thanks VP. That makes me wonder if I should hold...

    Thanks VP. That makes me wonder if I should hold back timesheets.

    WTFH I've already asked that question and holiday pay is advanced. I would have to take holidays in week blocks though to reduce...
  12. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
    31
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    2,616

    I'm familiar with the appeals process Lance. I've...

    I'm familiar with the appeals process Lance. I've written many an appeal in my time and admin never responds so I'm trying to be a bit more proactive.
  13. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
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    2,616

    Btw, whoever tagged this thread with "you are all...

    Btw, whoever tagged this thread with "you are all inside" I'm inclined to agree based on first impressions but it's interesting to see that various hiring managers have taken a risk in order to keep...
  14. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
    31
    Views
    2,616

    Is that a euphemism?

    Is that a euphemism?
  15. Thread: NI Calcs

    by mb31
    Replies
    6
    Views
    549

    NI Calcs

    Am I right in thinking that NI is only calculated per payslip as a M1/W1 deduction unlike income tax which is calculated over the whole tax year?

    If that's correct then I think I would pay less NI...
  16. Thread: IR35 Soap Opera

    by mb31
    Replies
    31
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    2,616

    IR35 Soap Opera

    Pre-emptive appeal.
  17. Interesting. I've had similar advice elsewhere.

    Interesting. I've had similar advice elsewhere.
  18. Replies
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    Banned for not being funny

    I must admit that made me laugh. Here's another cracker:

    Why did the CUK moderator cross the road?

    To wheel the disabled contractor to a gas chamber on the other side.
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    PC if you apply for PIP now then your claim will...

    PC if you apply for PIP now then your claim will be backdated to the date you phoned the DWP to initiate the process. They will send you the forms. I can give you tips on filling them in and...
  20. I guess you have sedating medication too BR14....

    I guess you have sedating medication too BR14. I'll let you know which is the most disability friendly Umbrella.
  21. My start date is meant to be 13th Jan but my...

    My start date is meant to be 13th Jan but my agent has been on leave for the last two weeks so it's not been finalised. Unlike the agency, HMRC and the Umbrellas have been answering my calls. I...
  22. What Reasonable Adjustments can an Umbrella provide?

    I've got to attend weekly medical appointments at the moment and I've asked three Umbrella companies if they would process the expenses of attending them as a reasonable adjustment given that the...
  23. Thread: Who isn't Gricer?

    by mb31
    Replies
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    Simple, someone told me. Not sure if that was the...

    Simple, someone told me. Not sure if that was the reason BBP got banned though, just guessing.
  24. Silly random questions to ask Alexa, Google or Siri.

    Today I asked how many bananas it would take to kill myself. Google Home says 4000 eaten at once to die from potassium poisoning. This is simply not true, all you need is one banana and throat...
  25. Thread: Who isn't Gricer?

    by mb31
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    I think BigBluePlymouth was Gricer and he got...

    I think BigBluePlymouth was Gricer and he got banned at the same time as Moneybags because the mods assumed they were one and the same.

    Not true, I'm me, myself and I.
  26. Thread: Who is Gricer?

    by mb31
    Replies
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    Brillo, I've had a horrendously rough two years...

    Brillo, I've had a horrendously rough two years and I would expect you of all people to understand.

    No, PC would not joke about or fabricate my situation.
  27. Thread: Who is Gricer?

    by mb31
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    Old Greg, you are a funny in a puerile way but...

    Old Greg, you are a funny in a puerile way but you have a long way to go to be witty, which surprises me because I've read enough of your posts to know you are intelligent.

    It's Christmas day FFS,...
  28. Thread: Who is Gricer?

    by mb31
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    Because, my friend, as stated in my opener you...

    Because, my friend, as stated in my opener you lot keep bring his name up. Think about it from my pov, it's a bit wierd being called out for being someone you don't know. It's a valid question.
    ...
  29. Thread: Who is Gricer?

    by mb31
    Replies
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    I thought you might say that you necrophiliac...

    I thought you might say that you necrophiliac pervert.

    She's not really dead and Gricerboy is a work of fiction so na na ni na na.
  30. Thread: Who is Gricer?

    by mb31
    Replies
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    ...

    ...
  31. I know the horse has bolted for most people but...

    I know the horse has bolted for most people but when I was looking at insurance last month Kingsbridge claimed they have a superior policy because they will cover a legal challenge regardless of the...
  32. Thread: Who is Gricer?

    by mb31
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    https://youtu.be/rf71YotfykQ

    https://youtu.be/rf71YotfykQ
  33. Thread: Who is Gricer?

    by mb31
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    51588

    51588
  34. Thread: Who is Gricer?

    by mb31
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    Thanks for the steer, I thought that was a fairly...

    Thanks for the steer, I thought that was a fairly benign thread. He must have done worse.

    It's good to reminisce.
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    He-man moral messages. If only we'd listened... ...

    He-man moral messages. If only we'd listened...


    https://youtu.be/o6Y-e13EqK0
  36. Thread: Who is Gricer?

    by mb31
    Replies
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    Who is Gricer?

    Who is Gricer and why does his name keep cropping up on my threads? Why is he infamous?

    I've tried using the search function and I've asked my Umbrella. Nobody seems to know.
  37. Replies
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    They've doubled our ruble rate at the factory...

    They've doubled our ruble rate at the factory today for Christmas so I thought I'd spread a bit of festive love. Golden Dalek is currently table dancing and Gricerboy is under the table doing who...
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    Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

    Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
  39. Replies
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    WTFH doesn't look anything like I imagined her. ...

    WTFH doesn't look anything like I imagined her.

    I'd like to join the choir of Christmas well wishers and say thanks too. And when I say choir it's more like a duet.
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    How about no Scot? ...

    How about no Scot?


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx2bHvlwkvM
  41. Thread: How to disagree

    by mb31
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    Actually, that's what seems to be going on behind...

    Actually, that's what seems to be going on behind the scenes by PM. My worst enemies on the public forum are attentive lovers on the quiet.
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    Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All Men/Women

    If I could give everyone a beer to toast Christmas Eve I would, my wife's bought about 50 tins of Coors Light and I realised the other night I can't drink on my current meds combination.

    Please...
  43. Thread: Santacide

    by mb31
    Replies
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    1,981

    NLUK doesn't know it all. Perhaps he thinks he...

    NLUK doesn't know it all. Perhaps he thinks he does...and no I'm not enjoying the attention.
  44. Thread: Santacide

    by mb31
    Replies
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    1,981

    You're stooping very low and your posts on this...

    You're stooping very low and your posts on this thread are unequivocal evidence.

    You think you can be judge, jury and executioner. If what you claim is true then I agree that it would be an act...
  45. Thread: Santacide

    by mb31
    Replies
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    1,981

    NLUK :confused: I haven't got the time to...

    NLUK :confused:

    I haven't got the time to respond to your message line by line and I don't think it would be a healthy way to spend my time either. I'l respond as briefly as possible.

    1) You...
  46. Thread: Santacide

    by mb31
    Replies
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    Here's one mum's post on another forum: ...

    Here's one mum's post on another forum:



    Nice, I think her method will have a higher rate of lethality than mine.
  47. Thread: Santacide

    by mb31
    Replies
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    1,981

    NLUK, I'm desensitised to suicide talk and I...

    NLUK,

    I'm desensitised to suicide talk and I mix in circles where it's common to be chatting about trivial nonsense one day and then be on the cusp of it the next. Meds made me rapid cycling but...
  48. Thread: Santacide

    by mb31
    Replies
    59
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    1,981

    I think that's what you wanted to post on my...

    I think that's what you wanted to post on my allegedly fake suicide thread.

    Brillo, my wife said no and rolled her eyes with boredom. The way things are shaping up there'll be a trail of Santa's...
  49. Thread: Santacide

    by mb31
    Replies
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    1,981

    Just saw this and it made me think that Futurama...

    Just saw this and it made me think that Futurama Santa could easily be a member of this forum.


    https://youtu.be/Qa4SMQekLkE
  50. Thread: Santacide

    by mb31
    Replies
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    1,981

    lol:rollin: I think I can predict the likely...

    lol:rollin:

    I think I can predict the likely outcome of that test and they've both got a long career in contracting ahead of them.
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