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  1. Brexit to send price of dildos and butt plugs soaring, sex toy company warns

    That's another export market "screwed" up. Johnny foreigner will have to pay more for the best of British.

    Brexit to send price of dildos and butt plugs soaring, sex toy company warns
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    429

    Doom: Squirrels "rotten" revenge!

    :eek:
    Sex Pistols star Johnny Rotten bitten by a flea after rescuing squirrels | 1 NEWS | TVNZ
  3. Replies
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    570

    We should take advice from Aldous Huxley and...

    We should take advice from Aldous Huxley and re-word it to "Decanted by ..."
  4. Replies
    518
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    14,192

    Forget the military, "bible bashers against...

    Forget the military, "bible bashers against Biden" are on the job:

    https://twitter.com/RightWingWatch/status/1324175651515949056
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    544

    Poll: Heh, I've more than one passport but US has never...

    Heh, I've more than one passport but US has never been one I've wanted.
  6. Replies
    25
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    544

    Poll: Biden to win but with Trump winning the popular...

    Biden to win but with Trump winning the popular vote in a direct reversal of last time. Just think of the barrage of tweets that would be released. It could even lead to Trump trying again in four...
  7. Thread: Crash!

    by Uncle Albert
    Replies
    14
    Views
    390

    I bet they were excavating a huge basement. That...

    I bet they were excavating a huge basement. That seems to be the most frequent reason for London building collapses.
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    503

    https://stuffcajunpeoplelike.files.wordpress.com/2...

    https://stuffcajunpeoplelike.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/squirrelincrosshairs1.jpg
  9. Thread: Leeds

    by Uncle Albert
    Replies
    14
    Views
    518

    Perfect time to declare independence. ...

    Perfect time to declare independence.

    https://northernlifemagazine.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Yorkshire-Independence-2.jpg
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    Thanks for linking to that. Jonathan Sumption...

    Thanks for linking to that. Jonathan Sumption speaks a lot of sense.
  11. Replies
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    534

    Then it depends on how much you invoiced them.

    Then it depends on how much you invoiced them.
  12. Replies
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    299

    Great. We can skip 10 years of education and get...

    Great. We can skip 10 years of education and get them into "useful work" at Starbucks tomorrow.
  13. Replies
    22
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    875

    She's obviously not heard of The Specials ...

    She's obviously not heard of The Specials

    Ain't you heard of the starving millions
    Ain't you heard of contraception
    You really want a program of sterilization?
    Take control of the population...
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    Looks like a kangaroo to me. I never believed...

    Looks like a kangaroo to me. I never believed that they only lived in Australia.
  15. Replies
    22
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    875

    He knew the salary when he applied for the job. ...

    He knew the salary when he applied for the job. Sue him for breach of contract.
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    190

    He gets around: Police find cash hidden...

    He gets around:

    Police find cash hidden between Bolsonaro ally's buttocks
  17. Replies
    58
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    1,617

    It seems to be a bit of a mix. According to this...

    It seems to be a bit of a mix. According to this page: Local lockdown rules: Check Covid restrictions in your area - BBC News Claygate is in the restricted zone but Epsom for example isn't.

    I'm...
  18. Thread: Iona

    by Uncle Albert
    Replies
    12
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    456

    Why on earth would anyone want to spend time on a...

    Why on earth would anyone want to spend time on a floating tower block with up to 7,000 other people?
  19. Replies
    115
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    3,315

    If any government interns are reading this,...

    If any government interns are reading this, please get in touch as I can assure you that I can do this much better and almost certainly for less than you are paying AccentPwCTata for this.

    Oh,...
  20. Just watch out for the fight when the SNP try to...

    Just watch out for the fight when the SNP try to steal that blue. It'd be just like them to claim it as theirs.
  21. Replies
    24
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    1,065

    Well that's just not going to ever happen. More...

    Well that's just not going to ever happen. More chance of Nicola Sturgeon requesting the return of devolved powers to Westminster.
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    413

    Two out of three ain't bad. Now where did I...

    Two out of three ain't bad. Now where did I leave my dental drill...
  23. Thread: Yuck

    by Uncle Albert
    Replies
    13
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    533

    Proof that condoms work to stop you getting...

    Proof that condoms work to stop you getting pregnant. There ain't no way anyone is going near someone wearing that.
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    https://www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/96253/16009562...

    https://www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/96253/1600956220/lorrylodgersb3.jpg
  25. Thread: Galileo

    by Uncle Albert
    Replies
    15
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    1,022

    So after wasting vast amounts of money, it looks...

    So after wasting vast amounts of money, it looks like we're going to go back and beg to be part of Galileo again.

    Report: UK government reboots independent GPS plans - Communications - News -...
  26. Replies
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    2,898

    3 of my children weren't born when I first joined...

    3 of my children weren't born when I first joined (under a previous name and a previous forum, possibly even two back). They are now all at university.

    We had posters like Roger Rabbit and...
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    1,463

    Oh tulip, that's terrible news. Condolences and...

    Oh tulip, that's terrible news. Condolences and best wishes, I'll be thinking of you.
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    424

    It's hard to point accurately when you're this...

    It's hard to point accurately when you're this confused.
    https://media1.tenor.com/images/de3f46ffff16213a116b4cdd0be97e96/tenor.gif?itemid=17599743
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    Poll: Whichever one currently offers the best rates.

    Whichever one currently offers the best rates.
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    That might be tricky seeing as they have blurred...

    That might be tricky seeing as they have blurred out his face.
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    Does it come with its own "mutant algorithm" that...

    Does it come with its own "mutant algorithm" that can be blamed for when it all goes t*ts up?
  32. There was always a danger when people started...

    There was always a danger when people started using these fishing lures that animals would get a taste for meat & two veg (slightly NSFW).
    Zanlure 1pc 7g 15g 28g 36g dd metal spinner spoon lure...
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    Looks like AtW finally got his sofa! ...

    Looks like AtW finally got his sofa!

    https://i1.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/PRI_163823102-e1599554393166.jpg
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    My advice has, for the last couple of decades...

    My advice has, for the last couple of decades been, get your internet from Zen.

    They are not the cheapest but they are the best that I have used, both for business and for home.

    When FTTC...
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    Sounds like a job for Chris Grayling.

    Sounds like a job for Chris Grayling.
  36. https://charismaticplanet.com/wp-content/uploads/2...

    https://charismaticplanet.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/419.jpg
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    Happy birthday Mr Pad. I arranged a cake for...

    Happy birthday Mr Pad. I arranged a cake for you.
    ...
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    1,078

    Mumsnet apparently :hug: him so he won't be going...

    Mumsnet apparently :hug: him so he won't be going anywhere for now. I don't think he's stupid enough to take the poisoned chalice just yet though.
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    Only 178 terabits a second? My kids would still...

    Only 178 terabits a second? My kids would still be whinging about how slow our internet is and how their mate's dad paid extra to get them double that.
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    If he does fall on his sword I wonder who'll be...

    If he does fall on his sword I wonder who'll be foisted on us next?
    Patel, Gove, Grayling, Francois?
    :suicide:
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    1,078

    I like that he was being compared to a wounded...

    I like that he was being compared to a wounded horse. Maybe he'll be put down and turned into Tesco Lasagna
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    1,078

    Boris Johnson to resign

    Well, maybe if you believe Dom Cummings' father in law
    Boris Johnson to resign in 2021, says Dominic Cummings''' father-in-law - Business Insider
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    599

    I wouldn't panic just yet. Some people get...

    I wouldn't panic just yet.

    Some people get chickenpox twice, most people don't, I don't think we're all going to be wiped out just yet.


    Now 2027 is an entirely different matter. :alien...
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    368

    That's just Amazon allowing Morrisons to sell via...

    That's just Amazon allowing Morrisons to sell via their systems which is a win win for Amazon as they don't have to do much. The Amazon Fresh system is all automated and is already very quick. A...
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    368

    They are clueless. They are hiring people to...

    They are clueless. They are hiring people to 'pick' online orders from the shelves of existing supermarkets when Amazon and Ocado have the entire process automated out of massive warehouses with...
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    9,811

    There's something a bit odd about the speakers at...

    There's something a bit odd about the speakers at the Republican convention. Some of them don't have the surname Trump :eek:

    https://i.ibb.co/pwnr5ZF/Trumpf.jpg
  47. Desperate times call for desperate measures. ...

    Desperate times call for desperate measures.

    BLT cocktail - Wikipedia

    :puke:
  48. Thread: Save Elsa

    by Uncle Albert
    Replies
    4
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    263

    Yes, save Elsa and shoot the fat German nudie...

    Yes, save Elsa and shoot the fat German nudie instead.
  49. Replies
    11
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    518

    I'm not convinced a snake can wander. So I'm now...

    I'm not convinced a snake can wander. So I'm now doubting the RSPCA woman, It's fake news and it needs to be turned into two pairs of shoes, a handbag and a wallet.
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    2,750

    Indeed. I suspect that there may well be higher...

    Indeed. I suspect that there may well be higher than normal levels of students failing their first year uni exams.
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