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Type: Posts; User: alluvial

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  1. Replies
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    I should be so lucky. Went to the dark side for a...

    I should be so lucky. Went to the dark side for a couple of years and had taken me until now to get over it.
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    Same Old Twunts

    Hello again.
    Been a while.
    Thought I'd look in again. Same old tulipe I see. Glad nothing changes.
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    34308

    34308
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    But they aren't filming a piece for a primetime...

    But they aren't filming a piece for a primetime TV show on the latest top of the range floaty thing at the time.
  5. I'd rather French kiss my mother-in-law than have...

    I'd rather French kiss my mother-in-law than have someone screw lumps of metal into my jaw. I looked into it once and when "pain management team" was mentioned, I went no further.
    Had a bridge a...
  6. Centre of Excellence Always populated with a...

    Centre of Excellence

    Always populated with a bunch of feckwit muppets that will proselytise on the correct font and formatting of a document but haven't got a clue when it comes to actually doing...
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    11/11 Lucky guess on the programming language...

    11/11

    Lucky guess on the programming language one.
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    Oh Dear God No...

    Of all the terrible things going on in the world today...

    Bay City Rollers announce reunion
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    Oh all right. I blame autocorrect.

    Oh all right. I blame autocorrect.
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    Another way of looking at it is that previously...

    Another way of looking at it is that previously you could only generate 1 report in a 45s window. This has now been improved so that you can now generate 9 in the same 45s window. Thus you can...
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    You do indeed. I remember my big sister being...

    You do indeed. I remember my big sister being most upset about it as my parents had just said they'd buy her a pair and then the shops were emptied of them overnight.
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    141,406

    How about:

    How about:
  13. Replies
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    439

    Golden Record Sounds

    If you ever wondered (I'm sad enough to have done so) what sounds of Earth were recorded onto the Golden Record they sent off with the Voyager Spacecraft, then you can hear them here.
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    But you forget that users rarely understand what...

    But you forget that users rarely understand what they really want. He had stated that it needed to be done quickly so you should have rolled up the early gigs into a summary. Leave the detail until...
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    I'd say that you missed the basic requirement...

    I'd say that you missed the basic requirement when he stated that he wanted your run through of your CV to be done quickly. If you started going through each gig in chronological order at great...
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    Can I join? :wave:

    Can I join? :wave:
  17. Replies
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    6,357

    No, you're looking at it the wrong way. It is...

    No, you're looking at it the wrong way. It is deeply sad news as many more cuddly polar bears will now die due to global warming.
  18. Replies
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    Indeed:...

    Indeed: https://www.chroniclesmagazine.org/how-to-deal-with-hostage-takers-soviet-lessons/
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    Dingley

    Dingley
  20. Replies
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    Rodney

    Rodney
  21. Thread: Boom Boom

    by alluvial
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    766

    Err actually I thought I had but... Not to worry...

    Err actually I thought I had but...
    Not to worry though. I know where she lives and my missus knows her ma.
  22. Thread: Boom Boom

    by alluvial
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    4
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    766

    Boom Boom

    Boom - yet another bloody 3 month extension.
    Boom - driving home and young lass comes round a bend on my side of the road and knackers my car. I've only had it for two weeks.

    Bah!
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    Here's an idea. How about if entry requirements...

    Here's an idea. How about if entry requirements were made more rigorous and required the applicant to demonstrate a high level of academic achievement. This should reduce the numbers of entrants...
  24. Maybe? Did you enjoy torturing little brothers?

    Maybe? Did you enjoy torturing little brothers?
  25. My mother always did that as well. Hang on, are...

    My mother always did that as well. Hang on, are you my sister?
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    Actually yes. Unless you are desparate for the...

    Actually yes. Unless you are desparate for the gig, then tell them to do one. Why should you have to hand over sensitive company information?
    Can you imagine the reply if you asked for a reciprocal...
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    So up to O-level standard then?

    So up to O-level standard then?
  28. I don't know how I can answer that. You came...

    I don't know how I can answer that. You came back with the killer argument. You pointed out my spelling mistake.
    I now bow to your obvious superior intellect and declare myself as unworthy.
  29. Because you start to shout racist at the...

    Because you start to shout racist at the slightest hint that someone may be making a generalisation and then go on to make a statement about a people that is really quite an offensive generalisation....
  30. Which further compounds the irony. It comes to...

    Which further compounds the irony.
    It comes to something when the level of trolling on this forum has been reduced to inconsistent feckwittery. At least SAS could maintain his position across...
  31. Just pointing out the irony of it.

    Just pointing out the irony of it.
  32. Sounds a bit racist...

    Sounds a bit racist...
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    As long as Europe continues to provide the ferry...

    As long as Europe continues to provide the ferry service, then they will continue to jump into anything that floats knowing that the probabilities are in their favour for getting picked up and taken...
  34. Thread: Bruce Jenner

    by alluvial
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    Look up what morbid fear means.

    Look up what morbid fear means.
  35. Thread: Bruce Jenner

    by alluvial
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    I'm sorry, the original comment to which you...

    I'm sorry, the original comment to which you refer may have been tongue in cheek, a bit of a piss take or even a bad taste joke. But where the feck did he/she show a morbid fear of transgender...
  36. Thread: Bruce Jenner

    by alluvial
    Replies
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    4,468

    My missus may be a godess, but even she can't...

    My missus may be a godess, but even she can't hover and has to walk like normal folk.
  37. Better that way so the bastard can be set on fire...

    Better that way so the bastard can be set on fire again.
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    As an Englishman living in Taffland, am I allowed?

    As an Englishman living in Taffland, am I allowed?
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    There used to be an earthquake simulator in the...

    There used to be an earthquake simulator in the Geological Museum in Kennsington that was quite fun. Anyone know if it's still there?

    Edit: Yes, still there it appears, just part of the Natural...
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    'Tis a shame about the design of the site but...

    'Tis a shame about the design of the site but there is a lot of very useful information if you are into that sort of thing. I'm not that nerdy but came across it when reserching a check that someone...
  41. Thread: Gay Cakes

    by alluvial
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    7,874

    If you pay peanuts and get monkeys, what do you...

    If you pay peanuts and get monkeys, what do you get if you pay nowt?
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    Dogs

    Dogs
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    'oop

    'oop
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    LatinNotGreek

    LatinNotGreek
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    Odysseus

    Odysseus
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    Unicorn

    Unicorn
  47. Replies
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    Ooh, Jeremy has a holodeck. #impressed

    Ooh, Jeremy has a holodeck.
    #impressed
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    If we can get rid of Balls and Vince, I think I...

    If we can get rid of Balls and Vince, I think I may well jizz myself.
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    Rumour is that Balls may lose. Here's hoping....

    Rumour is that Balls may lose.
    Here's hoping. ....
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    Can be embarrasing if you're a snorer. :emb

    Can be embarrasing if you're a snorer. :emb
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