Top 10 worst company names

IBM is far from alone in having eyebrows raised at its latest choice of company name.

In fact, in the same week ‘Big Blue’ christened its new managed services spin-off as ‘Kyndryl’ (an apparent fuse of ‘kinship’ and ‘tendril’), a list of all the company names banned in the UK was handed to ContractorUK.

Compiled by Freedom of Information officials at Companies House, the list for 2020 is notable for showing more than 30 botched attempts by bosses to cash-in on the coronavirus pandemic.

'Pandemic-inspired'

So excluded from the top 10 below, which contains some of the more creative, IT contractor sector-relevant or just memorably rude business names, officials rejected ‘Covid-Killers Ltd,’ ‘Corona Clarity Ltd’ and ‘Covid-19 Solutions Ltd.’ 

To stop a similar attempt to cash-in – albeit on the prime minister, ‘Johnson Construction and PM Services Ltd’ was also vetoed by Companies House.

The government agency has controls in place to ensure a company’s name does not mislead or harm the public, or imply a connection to the UK government which does not exist.

Connections with (and outright usage of) rude, offensive or sexually provocative words aren’t permitted either when it comes to naming a limited company.

'Sensitive words and expressions'

So it was a ‘no-no’ from officials for those who submitted ‘Slam your B*lls Ltd;’ ‘Something Wa**y Ltd,’ ‘Camel Toe Clothing Ltd,’ ‘WOK TOSSA LTD’ and ‘MILFs Kitchen Ltd.’

There was also no approved company formation for ‘Bad Bi*ch Services Ltd,’ ‘Fat F*nnys Speedshop Ltd’, ‘The Dogs Bolloc*s Falafel Company’ and ‘Footballers with Ti*s Ltd.’

Companies House says about 500,000 companies are incorporated each year, and only a small fraction get rejected for falling foul of its ‘sensitive words and expressions’ guidance.

'The potential to offend'

But in 2020, officials rejected a record 490 names – representing a three-fold increase on 2019.

A Companies House spokesman was asked by ContractorUK but ducked explaining why sensitive or rude applications appear to have trebled.

The spokesman would only say: “We have a statutory responsibility to ensure that the names we register do not have the potential to offend. 

“All applications are carefully considered but we will not register a name which is considered to be offensive.” 

In line with that commitment, the agency declined to approve hundreds of names for companies in 2020 including the following ten:

1. Ringleader of the Shi* Show Ltd

2. CLUSTER FUC* EDITIONS LTD

3. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME LTD

4. The Throw Shi* at the Wall Company Ltd

5. Defy Doom Solutions Ltd

6. Accounting Solutions 2020 Ltd

7. British Freedom Ltd

8. Cool Shi* Network Ltd

9. B***ard & Co Ltd

10. Cut the Cra* Marketing Ltd

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Written by Simon Moore

Simon writes impartial news and engaging features for the contractor industry, covering, IR35, the loan charge and general tax and legislation.
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