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milanbenes
5th September 2007, 10:29
I thought this gem deserved its own thread...

'I am ultra-low maintenance, I rarely have time off, get on with everyone even if I hate them and take my lead from the senior managers to determine the pattern of behaviour required.
I stand up even when the bullets are flying, nothing is too much trouble, I say I will sort things, then work out how to and make sure I do.
I learn very quickly, don't claim knowledge I haven't got, only ask a question once and adapt to anything I come across. I can also spell and articulate information to any required audience. These few things stand me apart from 90% of the jaded salary monkeys that infect all large companies, after a while they forget how much I cost and start working out how to keep me on.'

Author: LukeMG


Milan.

kirk
5th September 2007, 10:32
are we sure this isn't "god" himself? :laugh

Xenophon
5th September 2007, 10:34
:rollin:


It reads like an ad in a lonely hearts column.



:yay:

Andy2
5th September 2007, 10:38
He wouldn't be out of contract for a single day

Xenophon
5th September 2007, 10:46
'I am ultra-low maintenance, I rarely have time off, get on with everyone even if I hate them and take my lead from the senior managers to determine the pattern of behaviour required.
I stand up even when the bullets are flying, nothing is too much trouble, I say I will sort things, then work out how to and make sure I do.
I learn very quickly, don't claim knowledge I haven't got, only ask a question once and adapt to anything I come across. I can also spell and articulate information to any required audience. These few things stand me apart from 90% of the jaded salary monkeys that infect all large companies, after a while they forget how much I cost and start working out how to keep me on.

I will do my own share of the cooking, cleaning and washing and will not hog the remote control in the evening - I actually enjoy home improvement and how-to-lose-weight TV programmes! I enjoy long walks, sightseeing and going to the theatre. I like listening to David Hasselhoff music and my favourite colour is mauve.

:eek:

King Cnvt
5th September 2007, 10:54
'I am ultra-high maintenance, I'm rarely in the office, argue with everyone even if I like them and take my lead from the junior admin staff to determine the pattern of behaviour required.

I hide like a girl when the bullets are flying, everything is too much trouble, I say I will sort things, then ignore them.

I learn very slowly, claim knowledge I haven't got, ask the same question repeatedly and won't do anything I come across. I can't spell or articulate information to any required audience. These few things stand me apart from 90% of the professional contractors that grace all large companies, after a while they forget I even exist and start working out how to fire me.'

Yours,

Permie Franco.

sasguru
5th September 2007, 11:03
'I am ultra-high maintenance, I'm rarely in the office, argue with everyone even if I like them and take my lead from the junior admin staff to determine the pattern of behaviour required.

I hide like a girl when the bullets are flying, everything is too much trouble, I say I will sort things, then ignore them.

I learn very slowly, claim knowledge I haven't got, ask the same question repeatedly and won't do anything I come across. I can't spell or articulate information to any required audience. These few things stand me apart from 90% of the professional contractors that grace all large companies, after a while they forget I even exist and start working out how to fire me.'

Yours,

Permie Franco.

That has the ring of absolute truth.
:rollin::rollin:

Clippy
5th September 2007, 11:07
'I am ultra-high maintenance, I'm rarely in the office, argue with everyone even if I like them and take my lead from the junior admin staff to determine the pattern of behaviour required.

I hide like a girl when the bullets are flying, everything is too much trouble, I say I will sort things, then ignore them.

I learn very slowly, claim knowledge I haven't got, ask the same question repeatedly and won't do anything I come across. I can't spell or articulate information to any required audience. These few things stand me apart from 90% of the professional contractors that grace all large companies, after a while they forget I even exist and start working out how to fire me.'

Yours,

Permie Franco.

Ace :yay:

lukemg
5th September 2007, 12:21
...you turn your back for a minute...
Taken a few years to get this straight, wasted some time being a smart@rse and wondering why others were being considered for projects, responsibility etc and I wasn't. Like someone else said, it looks easy to do but it's not because most people can't maintain the discipline required. Being a contractor helps though because you get a clean slate each time. You give people only the info you choose and present whatever image you like.
There is no way I can bring myself to care about stuff happening even a tenth as much as some of the perms you come across, who still think what they do actually matters, trick is, they think I do and that equals money so we are both happy !