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Wilmslow
22nd April 2008, 18:44
Had the 'honour' of going into the quarterly company joint departmental meeting - as I will be one of 'them' soon.

One director was talking about fridges and milk.

One director was talking about the importance of wearing ties.

One guy asked finance director why shares dipped once the good results were anounced - I thought most people undersood a little about speculative trading......

Thankfully only lasted an hour. I left the minute the meeting ended.

:suicide:

miffy
22nd April 2008, 18:51
Your mafia neighbours should be able to furnish you with a "piece" :D

shoes
22nd April 2008, 19:01
You will be providing us with many such jems in the months to come I predict. I also predict you will have problems selling your house and the mortgage you eventually end up with will be larger and more expensive than you were expecting. You will be trapped in a permie job you hate with a take home that only just allows you to scrape together your monthly loan payments on your depreciating asset purchased at the top of the property bubble.

Meanwhile you are in last in first out position at your company just ahead of turbulent economic times.


Duh.

HankWangford
22nd April 2008, 19:39
One director was talking about the importance of wearing ties.


So wilm, why is it important?

Wilmslow
22nd April 2008, 19:55
So wilm, why is it important?

I quote 'Our collegues in the stores have to keep things apple pie, we are also the face of clientco'.

You could not make it up.....

Wilmslow
22nd April 2008, 19:57
You will be providing us with many such jems in the months to come I predict. I also predict you will have problems selling your house and the mortgage you eventually end up with will be larger and more expensive than you were expecting. You will be trapped in a permie job you hate with a take home that only just allows you to scrape together your monthly loan payments on your depreciating asset purchased at the top of the property bubble.

Meanwhile you are in last in first out position at your company just ahead of turbulent economic times.


Duh.

Argh, I am FRUSTRATED - I soooo need a gun after reading that reply.

I have an electric oven. My first floor bedroom has a porch to soften the fall onto a soft lawn.

Just flogged my old banger, so cannot even take that on the motorway for a quick ending with the CV joint about to go on it.

Either get me a gun quick, get Lucy to counsel me, or cheer me up!

darmstadt
22nd April 2008, 20:00
At least your hand didn't go to sleep making you think you're impotent!!!

thunderlizard
22nd April 2008, 20:04
I also predict you will have problems selling your house and the mortgage you eventually end up with will be larger and more expensive than you were expecting.

This I fear may be true. Permanent employees' housing transactions always take about a year to complete, for some reason. But as a 'staffer', you'll be allowed, nay expected, to spend 70% of your time on the phone to the solicitor, and 25% moaning to your colleagues about it. The other 5% gratefully swapping stories with your line manager, who took longer than you to complete on a more expensive house than yours.

Wilmslow
22nd April 2008, 20:16
This I fear may be true. Permanent employees' housing transactions always take about a year to complete, for some reason. But as a 'staffer', you'll be allowed, nay expected, to spend 70% of your time on the phone to the solicitor, and 25% moaning to your colleagues about it. The other 5% gratefully swapping stories with your line manager, who took longer than you to complete on a more expensive house than yours.

The dark feelings are killing me nicely.

Keep them coming - do not be nice, put me out of my misery....

NickFitz
22nd April 2008, 20:24
The dark feelings are killing me nicely.

Keep them coming - do not be nice, put me out of my misery....

<< canned laughter >>

HTH :laugh

Wilmslow
22nd April 2008, 20:46
I forgot to mention the employee of the quarter award, a guy who lives 80 miles from work, arrives at work at 6:45am, leaves around 6, to get home for around 9pm with a family he never sees.

Has a company car, seems to think he needs to work mad hours to justify the 'free' car which he is taxed to the hilt on.

I really cannot believe I am entering permiedom - however, tough times, needs must and all of that!

miffy
22nd April 2008, 21:10
Wilmsloooooooow

Peoplesoft bloke
22nd April 2008, 21:12
So wilm, why is it important?

Yeah - what on earth were his justifications for the wearing of a pointless anachronistic neck-rag?

DiscoStu
22nd April 2008, 23:19
Either get me a gun quick, get Lucy to counsel me, or cheer me up!

It could be worse, you could be Wilmslow.



Ah.....

bobhope
23rd April 2008, 06:02
Did I tell you about my new porsche?

HTH.

BrilloPad
23rd April 2008, 06:33
Argh, I am FRUSTRATED - I soooo need a gun after reading that reply.

I have an electric oven. My first floor bedroom has a porch to soften the fall onto a soft lawn.

Just flogged my old banger, so cannot even take that on the motorway for a quick ending with the CV joint about to go on it.

Either get me a gun quick, get Lucy to counsel me, or cheer me up!

You really are a glutton for punishment. If being "counselled" by Lucy I was ready to :suicide:

I suggest you ask for advice from all your friends on cuk...

Clippy
23rd April 2008, 07:31
I'm sure this is taken verbatim from an episode of Reginald Perrin.

tay
23rd April 2008, 08:03
Either get me a gun quick, get Lucy to counsel me, or cheer me up!

Lucy and Wilmslow.... now there is a match made in heaven.

NotAllThere
23rd April 2008, 08:59
I recall my first encounter with the directors of a multinational company. The global IT department were on the ground floor, directors on the first, so we'd interact occasionally, at events like "all company briefings". Most of them would have difficulty tying their own shoe laces. Certainly walking and chewing gum would be a challenge. There was one bright light among them - the COO. Very smart. Never wore a tie, and used to hang out with the smokers at the back door. Kind of guy who looks like he's about to ask your for spare change.

Most directors are in their position because of who they know, or who they're related - not their ability. Look at the chief executive of Novartis, who has the highest salary in Switzerland. His wife - the neice of a former chairman of Sandoz. ( Novartis was formed by the merger of Sandoz and Ciba-Geigy ).

Xenophon
23rd April 2008, 09:01
I forgot to mention the employee of the quarter award

:suicide: